


Total Departure

by MadhouseFunhouse



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Anal Sex, BDSM, BDSM Scene, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, Dubious Consent, Forced Relationship, Group Sex, Incest, Love/Hate, M/M, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Porn With Plot, Possessive Behavior, Rough Sex, Sibling Incest, Sorry Not Sorry, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Voyeurism, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 60,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22178209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadhouseFunhouse/pseuds/MadhouseFunhouse
Summary: Gon finds himself in the arms of Hisoka, who may or may not have the best intentions for his future. Being lost in a depression that seems never ending, Gon follows Hisoka to the end of the world.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Hisoka, Gon Freecs/Illumi Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Illumi Zoldyck/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 167
Kudos: 439





	1. Comfort Zone

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my beautiful readers, here is a very experimental and saucy fic for you guys. My usual rules apply, as in, I will not post if I do not want to. This is not completely cannon compliant, so be prepared for artistic changes or descriptions. I also expect a lot of talk, comments are what keep me writing as it gives me the idea that you guys still have interest in the story being told. Without comments I might forget to post, or simply loose interest. I hope you guys enjoy this saucy fic, as I will surly enjoy writing it!

Gon stood outside in the warm sunlight, his knees tickled by tall grass waving in the breeze. His vision was blurry, much like his mind, but he still stood, looking off into the distance. The years had done nothing but haunt him, and make him unable to leave home. The comfort of the forest was the only thing he could handle in these more recent years. Soon the sun was gone, and the night began to set in. Gon’s mind was scratched and scraped, his woeful thoughts wishing to tear into the fragile membrane that held together his consciousness. A familiar, yet distant voice had called to him, finally getting his attention away from his thoughts, “Gon, sweetheart, it's time for dinner!”

Gon turned on his heels, his bare feet kissed by the cold ground as he made his way back into his home. He tried to pull a brave face, though his heart fell frozen with grief, “Sorry aunt Mito.”

His aunt stood over the table now, her expression filled with worry. Gon was getting used to seeing this look, knowing full well that he had been the one to cause it after all. He hated that, he wanted to be strong for his aunt, but he couldn’t help it. He had been broken for so long now, he barely knew how to act like Gon anymore. He sat down, thoughts weighing heavily in the air. Mito gave him his food, despite knowing that he would not be eating it. Then she served herself and sat down. It felt so lonely now, so quiet between the two. Gon was sixteen now, but held the air of a man who had seen the world collapse around him. Mito couldn’t blame him, she instead tried to live as normally as she could, for him, her little boy.

As they sat there, the silence that had built a usually unbreakable wall was quickly broken by a loud knock on the front door. Mito smiled a bit, excited to have a visitor, she stood from her place, “I’ve got it, wonder who that could be.”

She hurried to the door, looking out the window to find a tall man with red hair standing outside. She had never seen this man before, but figured it would be rude to not open the door to him, so she did with a curious, “Hello, can I help you?”

“Ah, hello. Is  _ Gon _ home?” The voice asked, Gon’s ears perking and his eyes shot open to the familiar voice. 

Mito, not knowing the severity of the situation smiled sweetly, “Why, yes he is. He hadn't told me he had been expecting anyone.”

“Well, you see, I have come for a surprise.” The man cooed, smirking wider, “I brought him a gift and everything.”

Mito felt excited by the idea, hoping for a moment of normality. She turned a bit, prepared to call for Gon, however, the boy stood behind her, eyes wide with shock. He spoke up quickly, face reddening, “Auntie can you go wait for me at the table, I’m going to talk to my…  _ friend outside _ .”

Mito nodded, respecting his request, “Okay, but make sure to hurry. I’ll make him a plate.”

Hisoka was pushed out by the teen, then the magician watched as the boy closed the door behind them. Gon swallowed thickly before turning to the older man, eyebrows furrowed, “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

Hisoka pulled a fake pout, “ _ Oh, Gon, and here I thought you would be delighted to see me. _ ”

Gon groaned, pulling at his hair, which was a nervous habit he had picked up rather recently, “No, I don’t even know why you’re here! I just want to be left alone.” 

Hisoka leaned forward, which made Gon press himself back into the door. He seemed to be examining him with those deceivingly honey colored eyes, Gon shrunk in place. Hisoka’s voice came out as a soft moan, barely audible over the wind,  _ “I’ve come to collect you Gon, for you see, I have information that could make our lives… a bit more eventful. _ ”

“W-what do you mean?” Gon managed to stutter despite the pressure Hisoka now pressed against him.

The older man delighted in the way Gon had cowered below him, his petite frame delicious to feel and take in, his voice completely betrayed his lustful nature, “ _ I’m going to tell you this once, so you should listen _ .” The man purred, “I have found a way to return your nen, but you must do everything I tell you, or else I will leave you powerless, do you understand  _ apple _ ?”

Gon’s eyes grew more serious, disbelief filling his voice as he spoke, “How do I know I can trust you?”

“How do you know if I’m lying?” Hisoka let out a short laugh.

Gon clenched his fists in thought, and only snapped from his thoughts to the feeling of Hisoka’s lips pressing against his cheek before the man stood straight again. He spoke lowly, as a way to keep their privacy, “I am letting you decide tonight, for now I will get to know the woman who made you.”

“W-what? You’re not going anywhere near aunt Mito!” Gon squeaked, then covered his mouth, not wanting to alert the woman.

Hisoka laughed, hugging his arms around his own hips as he did, “I don’t think you have a choice in this scenario, as she already invited me in,  _ my little apple _ .”

Gon stuck out his tongue at the man, but he knew he was right. He simply shot a warning, hoping that if anything he could leave as peacefully as possible, “Fine, just, don’t be all Hisoka in front of her, okay?”

“I can make no promises.” The man rolled his eyes.

Gon growled, but soon turned to walk back in and return to the table. It was unnatural to see the clown sit at the table, in such a domestic setting. Even Mito looked at him with wonder, her voice remaining as sweet as ever, “So, Gon, what’s your friend’s name?”

Gon sighed, laying his head on the table, “Hisoka, he’s uh, an old sparring partner. We met during the hunter’s exam.”

Hisoka gave a big fake smile, face contorting in a rather unnatural way, “How nice it is to meet you, Mito is it?”

“Yes, that’s my name.” Mito confirmed with a small laugh, though it was obvious she was sensing something was off, “You’re a bit old to be Gon’s friend, huh?”

Hisoka’s fake smile wavered a bit, not liking the inclination that he was old in anyway, “N-no, I don’t think so.”

Gon looked up between the two adults, his soul almost leaving his body as he saw Hisoka grow a bit frustrated. He quickly spoke up to keep either of them complacent, “He just looks old, he’s not really that old. Like Leorio!”

Hisoka only looked more stone faced, his hand reaching for the water Mito had left out for him. He sipped it while Mito nodded, convinced, “Leorio looks older than him, so that’s fair.”

Gon relaxed a bit, though he knew this would not be the end of this conversation thanks to the look Hisoka had on his face. He tried not to think about it too much, and instead, for once, he ate his food quickly so he could be excused from the table. Mito was impressed by the sudden change in Gon, and hope filled her as she smiled wide, “Wow, Gon you haven’t eaten like that since you were thirteen!”

Hisoka glanced over at Gon, then back to his own plate. He picked at the food a bit, then pulled his best interpretation of a comforting face, “Well, this food does look  _ delicious _ , but sadly I am on a diet.”

Mito turned to the man, looking confused, “A diet? But you’re so thin.”

“How do you think I stay thin?” Hisoka glared at the woman, which only sparked Gon to move. 

The teen stood, quickly thanking his aunt for the meal before he turned to Hisoka and practically shouted, “You said you wanted to stay the night right?”

_ Oh god, I’m digging myself a hole _ , Gon admitted to himself as Hisoka laughed and nodded. Mito smiled wide, not catching onto Gon’s anxiety, and instead began to collect the dishes, “Well you boys wash up then, don’t want you going to bed dirty.”

“May I sleep in Gon’s room, sweet aunt Mito?” Hisoka purred.

Mito tilted her head before she responded, “I guess that’ll be fine, let me get the mattress for guests set up for you. Though…” She looked at the man as he stood, “you might do better in Gon’s bed, we’ve never had such a tall guest stay the night.”

Hisoka seemed to be loving this, while Gon only died further on the inside. Both men went upstairs, and Gon pointed at the bathroom door, eyes closed in quiet frustration, “There’s the bathroom, wash up.”

Hisoka peered in before he smirked at the teen, “Aren’t you going to clean up? You’re covered in food.”

Gon furrowed his eyebrows, keeping his eyes firmly closed as to not glare at the man, “I’ll bathe later.”

“Or now,  _ wouldn’t want to make a scene, Gon. _ ” Hisoka moaned into the boy’s ear, making the teen almost jump out of his skin.

Gon grumbled, but walked into the bathroom. He shot a hard look at the man, who was already removing clothes once the door was closed. Then he turned away to save himself from seeing the man naked, well a second time anyway, “Don’t look at me, okay?”

Hisoka laughed, now fully naked where he stood, “I can’t promise I’m not already looking at you.”

Gon stiffened but slowly began to peel away his clothes, which were covered in dirt and food. He knew he had been outside for many hours, so the dirt made sense, but the food a little less so. He hadn't remembered being that messy of an eater. But to be fair he never ate like that anymore. He sighed and threw his clothes onto the floor below him, his voice low with frustration, “Leave your clothes here, Mito will wash them.”

Hisoka listened, though he was fully distracted by the sight of the boy. How he wanted to take full advantage of the situation, but no, he would wait until the time was right. They had a lot of catching up to do anyway. The man stepped towards the tub and turned it onto a warm temperature, glancing over at Gon occasionally, and sometimes catching his gaze. The little pervert was just as curious as the man was, which made him laugh to himself.

Gon did not mean to look at the man like he had, but he had almost erased him from his mind. He had forgotten just how muscular, yet lean the man appeared to be. He did not know why, but looking at him made his heart flutter, like it used to when they fought. He was not used to that feeling anymore, but now he found himself intoxicated by it.  _ What’s wrong with me _ , Gon wondered as he found a hand slip onto his shoulder. 

The teen quickly turned to the man, who had an innocent look plastered across his face, his voice trying to keep up the lie, “The bath is ready,  _ Gon _ .”

Gon swallowed his pride for a second, and found his way over to the tub, sinking into the warm water. Hisoka leaned over the side of the tub, stifling laughter, “ _ Do you want me to wash your back, perhaps your hair? _ ”

“Don’t touch me.” Gon replied simply as he dunked his head under the water to wet his hair. 

Hisoka marveled as his wet hair, having never seen it lay down flat before. He leaned closer, smile only growing as he muttered, “ _ Move over _ , you don’t get all of the warm water to yourself.”

“If I do, will you tell me what you’re planning?” Gon grumbled, glaring at the man.

The magician chuckled, deciding to be a bit more fair as he nodded, “ _ Fine, but you’ll have to wash my back. _ ”

“Deal.” Gon sighed, scooting back so Hisoka could climb in.

Hisoka did just that, sinking into the water comfortably. As he was adjusting, Gon grew impatient and again asked, “What are you planning?”

“To make you strong again,  _ Gon _ . I’ve been watching you, for a few days. It was my way of making sure you were still alive and well, but as I’ve observed,  _ you are not _ .” The man moaned, leaning back against the boy, head on his shoulder, “ _ You are not well, and you are barely alive. _ So, now I have decided to help you.”

“Why would you help me?” Gon asked, eyes growing distant.

“ _ Because, in case you’ve forgotten, I happen to love my toys, and I didn’t want this one to break so soon. _ ” Hisoka cooed, trying to pull Gon from his own mind.

Gon shook his head, though he said nothing more. Instead he leaned forward, an awkward embrace between the two men formed. Hisoka enjoyed it for a moment, knowing fully that Gon had a lot of healing to do in their journey.  _ So why not start now _ , Hisoka told himself.

The man spoke in a low tone, as to not startle the boy, “You will do as I ask, and you will live with me for the rest of your life.  _ It is a fair trade _ .”

Gon swallowed hard, eyes slipping closed, “F-Fine, but only if you can fix this. I can’t live like this anymore.”

“ _ I won’t let you _ .” Hisoka moaned, “Tomorrow you start listening to me, tonight you rest.”

After the men had washed up, both threw on pajamas of a sort. While Gon had a proper outfit to sleep in, Hisoka did not, so the man simply slipped on a tight pair of sweatpants that they had from Gon’s father from many years ago. Then they made their way to Gon’s bedroom, where the guest mattress sat on the floor, sheets already pulled up onto it. Gon went to lay on it, but Hisoka spoke up, “We can both share your bed, I think it would make for a more comfortable night.”

Gon would have fought him on the issue, but he felt exhausted and full, so instead he slipped into bed after the man. They fit snuggly, but neither of them were too wide by any means, so they did fit despite the small bed size. Once Gon’s eyes shut, he was out, and Hisoka watched him as the night went on.  _ How exciting,  _ Hisoka told himself _ , I can’t wait to see you grow strong Gon.  _


	2. One Last Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon has to prepare to leave home one final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this short chapter is in place to prepare for the journey. The next chapter will likely contain a sauce scene, so be prepared! Also please continue talking to me, I enjoy hearing your feedback as it helps me keep going. Thank you again for the interest you guys show in this story, and prepare for adventure!

Gon’s eyes reluctantly opened, the morning light making him blind for more than a few seconds. He touched the bed around him, making sure he was alone, and when he found out he was, he breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe his encounter with Hisoka was all a dream, and maybe he would not be made to leave his home. The boy stood, happy with that thought. He actually hummed as he went to his closet and picked out an outfit for the day. Knee length green pants, with a skin tight neck hugging tank top, a combination that Killua had bought for him awhile ago. He looked at his outfit in the mirror in his room, then slipped on some green shoes. Once fully dressed he headed downstairs, the smell of breakfast actually making him excited for once.

However, as the boy made his way into the kitchen, his good mood dropped, Hisoka catching his eye as he watched him stand over the stove. The boy had to know better, good things don’t just happen to him. He sighed, walking over to the clown, “What are you doing?”

“Your auntie asked me to watch the eggs while she went to town really quick.” Hisoka hummed.

“Oh?” Gon did not believe that Hisoka could cook, especially since he had rarely seen the man eat.

The magician smiled at the boy, seemingly in a good mood, “I have talked to her about our trip.”

“W-wait, you have?” Gon squeaked, not believing that Hisoka would be so open about practically taking him away.

“Yes, she said that it would be good for you to leave the house for once,” Hisoka laughed shortly, “ _ isn’t that great news _ ?”

Gon pouted, feeling a bit attacked by his aunt’s words, “I leave the house plenty.”

Hisoka, though knowing the truth about Gon’s activity, did not press. He did not want him rebel against him for any reason before they left after all. So the man simply finished cooking the egg that was in the skillet, then started on the next, as he was instructed to do by Mito. Gon was surprised to see that the egg was both fully cooked, and not burnt. He knew eggs were not hard to make, but his confidence in the man was very low. He almost expected the egg to catch on fire on top of the bed of rice it rested on. That was about as extreme as Hisoka would like it.

“ _ You’re going to make the egg feel bad if you keep glaring at it like that. _ ” Hisoka cooed, smirk filling his features.

Gon spat out his tongue, but ended up taking the plate and leaving to sit in the dining room to eat. He hated how nice the breakfast was, and he didn’t like the fact that he had finished it, even though he hadn’t finished a meal properly in months. By the time the meal was gone, Mito walked in through the door, bread in hand and hair wet from rain. Gon hadn’t even noticed that it had started to rain. Mito spoke up, smile on her dripping face, “I think I chose a poor time to get bread, huh?”

Gon managed a small smile, laughing a bit, “Sure did.”

She sat her bags down and crossed the room to Gon, eyes widening, “Did you finish your breakfast?”

“Y-yeah.” Gon’s smile became hollow.

Mito seemed excited to see the finished plate, taking it up proudly, “I guess this Hisoka fella is better for you than I had first thought. He’s had you finish two meals since he’s been here!”

Before Gon could argue, Hisoka walked in, another plate of rice and eggs in his hand, “ _ Ah _ , aunti, you should sit and eat, I’ll put your groceries away for you.”

Mito thanked him, giving him Gon’s finished plate before taking the one he had prepared for her. Then she sat down, looking very refreshed by the treatment. The man shot Gon a knowing look before he went to fulfill his tasks. Gon knew he was just trying to get on his aunt’s good side, probably to make his transition easier. He was shocked that Hisoka would bother go through so much trouble just to take the teen away. Though he knew it was necessary, as aunt Mito would never just let a grown man take him away without plausibility that it would help Gon in some way.

The teen sighed, sinking down into his seat. Mito seemed to notice his change in posture, her face hardening, “So, he says you two are leaving by about noon. Do you need help packing?”

“No, I’m fine.” Gon muttered, crossing his arms.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” Mito asked, eyes filled with worry.

Gon knew that this may very well be the last time he would see his aunt, so instead of sulking even further, he decided to act a bit more classic, to lessen the resentment she might have later on. So he sat up, both hands going to either side of him to grip his chair, face smile spreading across his face, “I’ll be fine, I’ll send you plenty of letters and everything!”

Mito was partially taken aback by Gon’s sudden burst of excitement, but it was so welcome that she did not question it as much as she normally would. No, instead she smiled sweetly at her nephew, feeling positive once again, “Okay, but this time I want pictures too. I’d love to see where you two get to.”

“I promise.” Gon laughed, holding out his pinky.

Mito took it, and they did their little promise ritual. After it was completed, Gon stood to go get started on packing, only stopping briefly at the stairs to peer in at Hisoka. The man was flipping through one of Mito’s cookbooks, seemingly interested in its contents, which was unbelievable to Gon. He, however, left it alone and continued up the stairs. Once in his room he took out his favorite backpack and began to shove clothes into it. Soon it was filled entirely with various clothing items and necessities, including a few snacks he had stored in his room for other reasons. Then he slipped his bag on, and went into his closet. Immediately, as though he had done it a million times before, he grabbed his fishing rod. He felt complete in his packing now, so he headed back downstairs. It was eleven by this point, almost time to leave.

Hisoka was now fully dressed himself, wearing the same diamond designed shirt as the day before. Mito seemed to be looking at his outfit in interest, asking him about it. He simply said that he liked dressing up, and since he used to be in a circus he liked looking colorful. Mito nodded, appreciating his explanation.

Hisoka’s eyes darted over to Gon, smirk spreading across his pale face, “Oh,  _ Gon, _ you look ready to go.”

Gon shrugged, managing a small smile, “I don’t usually pack that much.”

Hisoka’s eyes wandered over the boy’s form, though carefully as to not tip off his aunt. He couldn’t wait to have free access to him, but he also knew that he had to be careful around his family or else his cover might be blown. He was trying not to be Hisoka afterall, just as Gon had requested. How he hated the fact that the boy was wearing almost full length pants, he would have to change that during their travels. However, the exposed shoulder look was appreciated by the man. 

Gon knew he was being examined, so he turned and began for the door, “Where are we starting, Hisoka?”

“Oh, I hope you like boats.” Hisoka laughed a little, getting an eyeful of Gon’s backside.

Mito looked between the men, getting a knot in her stomach. She felt like she should stop them, but she did not know why. She bit her lip, speaking up as quickly as she could, “Have fun Gon, remember those pictures, I love you.”

Gon waved a soft goodbye leaving him before he continued out of the door, clown close behind. Hisoka stayed behind the boy, letting his eyes devour him as they walked towards the docks. It was official now, they were on their way to adventure.  _ Whatever that means _ , Gon pondered.


	3. A Night To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka finally gets to try something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the beginnings of some sauce, which I am glad to start adding in. It is pretty mild, being the beginning and all, but I'm sure it'll still get some of you excited for future chapters! Enjoy, and keep talking to me!

The sea was a welcome sight to Gon, who had barely laid eyes on it in the years he had spent in his home. His eyes strained in the sunlight, something he would inevitably have to get used to once again, especially now that he could no longer cower inside. He took in a deep breath, maybe Mito was right, maybe this was going to be good for him. Well, despite his traveling companion.

_ Maybe, Hisoka is looking out for me, _ he wondered, his eyes looking towards the man before swiftly moving away again. Hisoka had been staring at him this entire time, the pressure on various spots on his back only grew as the man refused to pry his gaze away. Gon would have normally told him to cut it out, but he did not want to get on his bad side. So instead he dealt with it until they reached the dock, and turned to Hisoka, eyes expectant, “Which boat are we getting on?”

Hisoka pointed to one that looked like it was made for a short trip, so they would not be going to a very far away place. That made Gon pout a bit, “That one? Are you sure?”

“ _ It is the one I arrived on _ .” Hisoka cooed.

Gon crossed his arms, stopping in his tracks, “I thought you said we were going on an adventure, this boat will just take us back to Yorknew city!”

“Yes, well, I need to do something before we go on our journey. Do you want to leave unprepared?” Hisoka pouted, again gaining a false tone of sadness. 

Gon sighed, knowing this argument was a losing battle, “I-I guess not, just promise me it won’t take long.”

“In this case, I  _ can _ promise that.” Hisoka laughed, crossing his arms. 

Gon was glad he at least had the man’s word on this. So instead of fighting him further on this, he boarded the boat once they paid their admission. Both men found a comfortable place to settle in, as the ride would take a few days. Luckily there weren’t many other passengers, so despite being in one big room below the deck of the ship, there were only about ten people in all, other than Hisoka and Gon that is. Usually boat rides like these were overcrowded and uncomfortable. Gon relaxed, happy about their luck.

Hisoka seemed to be pretty quiet during the first few hours of the boat trip, his eyes closed and his body stiff and sitting straight up. Gon had occasionally wondered if the man had fallen asleep, which was odd since they had woken up only a few hours previous. Though, then he realized that there was a distinct possibility that the man had stayed awake all night, which he wouldn’t put past the strange magician. Only, if he had, then that meant he was left alone with Gon’s sleeping body for more than eight hours. That thought made Gon shiver, creeped out by it.

Hisoka’s eyes suddenly snapped open, an almost goofy smile spreading across his face as he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and typed quickly on it. Soon it was returned to his pocket, which only made Gon desperately curious about it, “Who were you texting?”

“ _ No one in particular _ .” Hisoka purred.

Gon crossed his arms, glaring at the man, “Yeah right.”

Hisoka rolled his eyes, then he stretched to get any stiffness out of his body, “I seemed to have dozed off, anything interesting happen while I was out?”

“No, nothing.” By this point, Gon was pouting, angry that Hisoka was hiding stuff from him, no matter how trivial. 

Hisoka looked back towards the boy, and only now did Gon realize that he had not put on his makeup this morning. How few details Gon noticed these days. He wondered if it was because of the rain outside, which had again stopped before they had gotten onboard, or maybe he had simply forgotten. Either way, it made the boy have a double take, which the man did indeed notice. He smirked, coming closer to the boy, now sitting on his hands and knees, “ _ Is something on my face, or are you just glad to see me? _ ”

Gon reddened immesley, shaking his head, and waving his arms in refusal, “No! I mean I just-!”

“ _ You just wanted to admire me, my little apple _ ?” Hisoka moaned, slowly finding himself on top of the frantic teen. 

Gon swallowed thickly, his heart racing like it had the day before. His instincts told him all sorts of useless and confusing information, his face pure red. His hands weakly pressed against Hisoka’s chest, his voice shaky as he tried to push the man away, “S-stop please, the other passengers- Hisoka-”

“ _ Mmm _ …” Hisoka purred, unsatisfied with the realization that the boy was right, he couldn’t take advantage of their new freedom just yet.

He slowly pulled away from the boy, licking his lips with lustful thoughts. His voice was low, heavy with want, “ _ Fine, just know you can’t stop me forever _ .”

Gon sighed, relieved that he had momentarily kept whatever sense of innocence he still retained. He eyes quickly looked around to find the other passengers quickly look away. He knew that they had watched them, but he was shocked that they had not tried to stop the man. He rubbed his chest, trying to calm his heart from the interaction. Only now did he realize just how hot he felt, how much he wanted to be under the older man again. He bit his lip, body trembling a bit with need.  _ What is this new feeling _ , he wondered to himself. 

Hisoka laughed at him, knowing fully that he had affected the boy. He could not only see it on his face, but also the boy’s crossed legs where a hard on was beginning to form. After all, he was just as much of a pervert as the man, and Hisoka knew that.

Gon glared at Hisoka, though didn’t dare speak to him just yet. Hisoka stuck his tongue out at the boy, mimicking his behavior from before. That only made Gon feel worse, his hands going between his legs to hide the change in his body. He had never felt arousal before, at least not like this. He was pretty innocent in that department, having never even masturbated before. The depression he felt took up a lot of his teen years, so it never occurred to him to try anything like that. Now, it was all catching up to him, and fast.

Hisoka leaned back against the wall of the ship, his voice low so only Gon could hear him, “ _ Poor little boy, looking so tangled up _ .”

“S-shut up…” Gon whimpered, looking away quickly.

Hisoka scooted closer, “ _ I can help you. _ ”

“I don’t need your help.” Gon growled, though he knew he was lying.

Hisoka placed a hot kiss on Gon’s cheek, “ _ I highly doubt that. _ ”

Gon almost melted into the kiss, craving more despite himself. He closed his eyes tight, trying to push everything far away from him, “Fine, what should I do?”

“Wait until everyone falls asleep, then I will  _ help  _ you.” Hisoka murmured. 

Gon opened his eyes, staring daggers into the redhead, “Why do I have to wait that long?”

“Because, _ I don’t think you want everyone to watch. _ ” Hisoka laughed, then pulled out his cards, ready to busy himself, “ _ Just act natural _ , I promise I won’t leave you like this for too long.”

Gon sighed heavily, but he knew that whatever Hisoka had planned, he might as well wait for. So that’s what the boy did, he waited, with a little bit of anticipation remaining in his stomach as he had. Then one by one the men fell asleep, and soon they were the only two passengers that remained awake. About an hour after they had confirmed this, Hisoka leaned against the boy, his voice sickly sweet, “ _ Are you ready? I hope you know how to keep your voice down _ .”

“What do you mean-” Gon managed to ask just before his eyes widened as the man began to palm the crotch of his pants. 

The boy stiffened, throwing his hands over his mouth as pleasure filled his body. His hips almost immediately rose to meet the magician’s hand, which prompted the man to rub a bit harder to increase the boy’s pleasure. His voice remained low, to keep anyone from waking up around them, “ _ My apple...I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to try this. _ ”

Gon found his face buried into the man’s shoulder, to muffle any noise he made. The way their bodies laid against each other only made Gon harder beneath the fabric of his pants, so again Hisoka took advantage, unzipping and undoing the front of the boy’s trousers before his warm hand found it’s way into Gon’s boxers, now skin embracing skin. 

Gon’s breath caught in his throat, a muffled mewing sound allowing itself out into the man’s neck as his little arms wrapped around him needfully. Normally he would fight this man, especially fight what he was doing, but now he couldn’t contain how much he needed this. So he simply let it happen. He had forgotten about the other passengers, and he had pushed everything else aside. The pleasure was too much to deny.

Then it all began to tighten, he felt like he was going to explode. He whimpered, eyes shooting open, “H-Hisoka.”

“ _ Yes, my little one _ ?” Hisoka cooed.

“S-stop, I feel weird.” The boy whimpered.

“ _ Hmm, no _ .” Hisoka giggled, only increasing the pace in which his hand moved up and down the boy’s shaft.

Gon whimpered, his hands weakly trying again to push the man away. Though his body clearly wanted the contact, as he could not bring any strength into the pushes, and instead it all went to spasms in his hips which made the boy push his cock up into Hisoka’s grasp. Then it melted, his entire body beginning to experience the spasms, cum shooting out of him and only the man’s hand with one final thrust. Gon’s entire body relaxed and yet shook, eyes tearing up to the overwhelming feeling of his first ever orgasm. Hisoka purred happily, licking his hand with his eyes closed. Finally, Gon was allowed to put his pants back on properly, though he felt so spent that it took a lot longer than usual.

After a moment of silence, Gon sighed, laying back against the wall with a huff, “What did you do to me?”

“I helped you.” Hisoka told the boy simply, “As I will continue to do as much as I want.”

“B-but…” Gon tried to protest, however, he knew there was no use. 

Instead he crossed his arms, and closed his eyes, his final act of defiance before his body forced him to sleep. Hisoka remained awake for awhile after, simply marveling at his first encounter with Gon. How cute he was, the way he moaned into his neck like he had. He couldn’t wait to hear him do that again.  _ This will be fun, _ he told himself.


	4. Encounters In Yorknew City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka brings Gon to his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the sauce continues, as well as some fan service for some of you. Enjoy!

Yorknew city had grown a lot since the last time Gon had been there. It was almost like a brand new city, the way the buildings dizzily reached for the sky, cutting clouds in half. The teen was yet again amazed by the sights, almost as though he had never set foot near such buildings before in his life. Hisoka admired the look on Gon’s face, glad that the teen was not glaring at him anymore. Sure, he could handle being the object of someone’s anger, but he did not prefer it. Especially when it was someone he adored so much.

Hisoka let out a soft sigh, face a soft pink as he thought not so savery thoughts, “ _ Gon, darling, _ we have to go towards my apartment now.”

Gon turned towards the man, resuming his glaring almost immediately. _ He acts like Killua when he was mad _ , the magician noted, though he really did not mind. Instead of lingering on the angry teenager, he stepped past him and towards the Heaven’s Arena, where he still lived after these years. Gon found himself knowing the path, and he figured out quickly that they were heading to the Arena building, though he had forgotten that the man lived there, so he asked quickly, “Why are we going this way?”

“I live this way.” Hisoka answered almost sassily. 

Gon huffed, not liking the man’s tone. However, soon his eyes widened with wonder once again when he saw the familiar building. It looked bigger than he remembered, but that sensation of excitement filled his chest once more, “Wow, I haven’t been here in awhile.”

Hisoka did not respond, instead he stepped inside and went straight for the elevator. He waited for the boy to follow before he selected a floor. As they headed up, Gon’s eyes began to sparkle, almost like they used to, his voice filled with excitement, “Does Zushi still do tournaments here?”

Hisoka smirked, glad to see a side of Gon he had sorely missed. He decided to answer his questions for now, “Yes, I believe he does.”

Gon smiled wide, hands cupping either side of his face with happiness, “Wow, what a dedicated guy! I wonder if he remembers me!”

“Who could forget  _ you _ ?” Hisoka purred, becoming excited himself from Gon’s enthusiasm. 

_ How intoxicating, _ the man marveled,  _ how alive I feel around him _ . He licked his lips, eyes partially rolling back in pleasure, hip jutting forward dramatically as he let his mind go wild with lust. Gon noticed eventually, his face reddening entirely, “W-what’s that look for?”

Hisoka only partially snapped out of his thoughts, his lips curling into a wide smile, “Nothing,  _ I’m just daydreaming _ .”

Gon felt thoroughly creeped out, so instead of carrying on the conversation he looked forward, almost wishing that Hisoka would just vanish. Hisoka, however, would not drop this so easily, and as the door of the elevator opened, the man made a swift exit, moan leaving him, “Welcome to my home,  _ Gon _ .”

Gon carefully walked in, almost expecting to be ambushed, but instead he found himself in a lavish apartment that had dedicant furniture filling it. His eyes widened with surprise, his gaze shifting around quickly as he practically spun in circles to see it all, “Wow, Hisoka, this place is amazing!”

Hisoka purred, loving the sight he was being given. His hand went to the boy’s hip, pulling him close to him, in an almost dancer like fashion. Gon squeaked, eyes shooting up to the man, wide and full of curiosity. Hisoka couldn’t help but press their lips together, but he did it quickly, as to leave a small impression. He didn’t want Gon to get too used to these small gestures just yet. Gon whimpered and pushed himself away from the man, walking further into the apartment, and attempting to clean his mouth off with his arm. Hisoka, however, was not done, and instead of letting the boy walk any further away, he grabbed him from behind, pulling him by his hips back to his own. Now his hard cock pressed into the boy’s back unashamedly as the man leaned into the teen’s ear, hotly breathing upon it, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Gon shivered, a soft mew leaving his throat involuntarily, “P-please, stop.”

“ _ Mmm, I like that noise, can you make it again?” _ Hisoka requested lustfully.

Gon whimpered, and tried to pull away, but now he was firmly pressed against the man. So he knew he had nowhere to go. He did not want to bend to his will, and instead he crossed his arms in defiance, “N-no, leave me alone!”

Hisoka was not one to give up, so instead he began to lightly bite the teen’s ear, eliciting another soft mew, and the feeling of Gon’s legs crossing. He loved that noise, his own voice a moan now, “ _ Yes, Gon, such a good boy. My good little boy. _ ”

Gon did not understand the feeling he had rise in his stomach, he felt a mixture of anticipation and a sort of fight or flight response. However, he could do neither, and now his cock hardened like it had before. He knew Hisoka had helped him with this before, but he also did not entirely know if he liked what had happened between them or not. He tried again to pull away, but the man was not going to let him leave so easily. Then the idea snapped into Gon’s head, as he realized what that hard object was on his back. He squeaked, getting the man’s attention, “I-if I help you not have that problem, will you let me go?”

It took Hisoka a moment to understand his words, until he realized that he was referring to his hard on. He smirked, glad that Gon was picking up on sex already. So he released the boy, pulling on a fake type of desperation, one that only barely showed just how desperate he actually was to see how dirty the smaller boy could be, “ _ Yes, please, I need so much help _ .”

Gon rolled his eyes, but knelt in front of the man, in an act of confidence Hisoka had not seen coming. He however slightly recoiled, and looked up shyly, “C-can you pull it out?”

Hisoka was slightly disappointed in this, but glad it was happening regardless. He tugged down his pants, his hard member sprung up and greeted Gon. The boy’s eyebrows furrowed, a thought circling his head,  _ he’s testing me, yes that’s it. _ The teen still reddened even more, his tiny hands wrapping around it. He took a moment, the musky scent of it filling his head before he began to move his hands up and down. Hisoka bit his lip, eyes glued to his prey as he worked. Gon had seen an eyeful of the man's cock, noticing little details he had not noticed before on his own. It was much bigger, pale, though it was a bit red on the tip. Unlike his, the skin was not as loose, and his small bit of pubic hair was surprisingly black. That made Gon realize that the man must dye his hair red, which made sense since it wasn’t a natural hair color. He couldn’t help but ask about it, his awkwardness being pushed aside, “What is your natural hair color?”

Hisoka laughed, finding Gon ever surprising, “Why?”

“Just, your body hair is black so I just thought…” Gon reddened again now that his question was answered.

Hisoka pet his head, pushing his cock closer to the teen, “I guess a little _ curiosity  _ is healthy. How about this, if you  _ lick _ it, I’ll tell you if I dye my hair.”

“L-lick it? Why?” Gon squeaked, not expecting such a request.

“It’ll fix my problem much faster.” The man hummed.

Gon sighed, giving the man’s cock one long hard look, “Do I have to?”

“No, but then I won’t answer your questions.” Hisoka cooed.

Gon rolled his eyes, then despite himself, he pressed his tongue carefully on the head of the man’s cock. It tasted strange to the boy, nothing he had ever tasted before. He tried to push past that, as dragged his tongue up the surface. Hisoka moaned lowly, unable to hold back his own noises. Gon’s ears perked to it, something about it excited him. He tried to ignore it, but he found his hand moving faster, and his tongue exploring more of the man’s cock.

Hisoka bit his lip again, soft groans escaping him as his cock only became harder. He was about to cum, and he was delighted that Gon had drove him to the edge. He opened his mouth, hot air practically spilling out from it, “ _ Such a delicious boy… Can you open your mouth for me _ ?”

Gon sat back a bit, confused by the request. However, he did as he was asked, opening his mouth wide. Hisoka took this opportunity, shoving his cock into the boy’s mouth swiftly, his hand, which was placed on the boy’s head, held him in place as he began to roughly move him back and forth on his need. Gon barely had time to think, tears filled his eyes as his hands did everything in their power to push the man away. Nothing worked, and the boy began to gag and choke. Soon the man let out one loud moan, and he pressed his cock deep into Gon’s awaiting throat, making the teen’s nose be tickled by his pubic hair. Then a warm liquid was forced down the boy’s throat, making him cough around the man’s length, which reminded him to let go of the boy so he could catch his breath. 

Gon quickly pulled away, coughing loudly into his hand, his other still pushing Hisoka’s hips away. Hisoka marveled at the sight, the little bit of destruction he had caused was enough to almost harden him again. But for now this was enough, and instead of going further he pulled his pants back up and spoke as though nothing had happened, “Yes, I do dye my hair. I will not say why. Any other questions?”

Gon turned away from the man, hugging himself as tears freely flowed from his eyes. He wanted to yell at the man, say something mean, but his throat hurt and any noise might cause him to go into a coughing fit once more, so instead he sat in stern silence. Hisoka knew he had taken it a bit far, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted Gon to hurry up and start needing this, just as much as he had. He licked his lips, trying to speak in a more comforting tone, “I’m going to go get your gift now, I suggest sitting on the couch though, as it is likely more comfortable than the floor.”

Gon didn’t say anything back, but after Hisoka left he did climb onto the couch. He knew without a ranking he would not be able to operate the elevator, and he was way too high up to leave. He was trapped in this room with that man. He sighed and closed his eyes, practically pissed off at the entire situation. He remembered a time when he would have been positive, but now that helplessness again consumed his thoughts. His brain bleeding from the gnawing thoughts. He clenched his teeth, trying to push the darkness away. Only when he heard Hisoka’s voice again, did his eyes open. His eyes showed his depression plainly, and the way he held himself almost made Hisoka feel bad for the way he had treated him. But the man continued to smile, and act as though nothing had happened, “ _ My good boy, _ I know how much you  _ like _ to have companionship,  _ so I arranged for something you’ll love _ .”

“W-what do you mean?” Gon asked dryly, his voice very hoarse.

“ _ That’s a secret _ .” Hisoka put a single finger up to his mouth, making a shushing noise. 

Gon grumbled, looking away from the man. He was tired of his games for the day, and he just wanted to be left alone. However, Hisoka only came closer, a flash of worry filling his eyes, before it left again, and he sat with the boy, “Maybe you should rest now.”

Gon shook his head, scooting away from the clown. Hisoka persisted, “You have that look in your eyes, Gon.” His voice was serious for once.

Gon covered his eyes with his hands, “I don’t have any sort of look.”

A hand was placed on his small back, caring circles being pet into it. The man sat with him, his voice low now, “I can stay with you, until you feel better. You can talk to me.”

Gon still refused, so they sat there like that until he had fallen asleep. Hisoka sighed, and stood, knowing he should take this transition a bit slower now. Though he hoped his surprise would pay off in his favor, as he felt it was the only way to speed up the process without breaking his toy even more. He picked up his small sleeping form, carrying him into his bedroom. Carefully he laid him under the blankets, taking care to tuck him in before he got undressed and went to take a shower. He had to clear his head, he had to think of a solution, although his mind was quickly diluted with thoughts of Gon’s mouth. He bit his lip, as he couldn’t help it. “ _ My Gon… _ ” He moaned through the water.

_ I’ll help you, while I help myself _ , he smirked, body leaning against the cold tile wall.

Illumi sat perched outside, cell phone still in his hand from the call he had just received. His eyes stared into the dark, his thoughts vast. He stood slowly, then he swiftly turned and went inside, ignoring his mother who had asked where he had been. He quickly made his way through the house until he reached a door he had used millions of times before. He slowly slid it open, his voice monotone as always, “Killu?”

Killua sat on his bed, looking at a handheld gaming system. He looked up curiously, eyebrows furrowed, “What do you want?”

“We must leave soon.” Illumi told him.

“Leave?” The boy tilted his head, “What do you mean?”

Illumi stepped in fully, closing the door behind himself. He held up his phone, showing his brother the message he had gotten the day previous. That was enough for Killua to jump up and begin to pack.

It was time to go.


	5. Noodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon has to deal with his new existence with Hisoka, while Killua tries to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been doing the best lately, sleeping less and less, but don't worry I think writing is helping, so I'm sorry this was released so late into the day, I've been kinda staring at my computer all day haha. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Gon did not want to move, the bed beneath him practically sucking him into an endless cycle of waking up just to lull back to sleep almost immediately. He felt so comfortable, almost forgetting about the night before, although anytime it popped in his mind, he grimaced and buried his face into the sweet smelling pillow below him. Then the need to pee became too great for him to lay in bed all day, so instead he shot up in the bed and looked around quickly. He was alone, but also he was completely naked. His face turned pure red, as he did not remember undressing. He wrapped the large quilt over his small frame, then slid off of the bed in search of the bathroom. Luckily it was not too far away, and once he stepped inside he threw the quilt to the ground temporarily. 

He did what he had to do, then looked at his face in the mirror, mostly to fix his hair and make sure that Hisoka had not done anything to leave marks on him. At worst he looked exhausted, but otherwise he was fine. He sighed softly, brushing his fingers through his hair a few times before he grabbed the blanket again and wrapped it around his form. Then he began to look around the bedroom. He could not find his clothes, so he concluded that Hisoka had done something to them. Instead of searching further, he climbed back into the bed, laying down and huffing. He hated not having any control, but he felt like it was just how his luck had been lately. 

The sound of the door opening made the boy sit up quickly, hugging a pillow over his nude body. Hisoka stepped in, shopping bags hanging off of his arms. When the man’s eyes caught onto the boy, they widened a bit before returning to their normal half lidded posture. His lips slipped into a devious smile, “I see you’ve  _ finally _ woken up. You looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to bother you.”

Gon knew he was just teasing him, though he still felt very angry about it, “Where are my clothes?”

“Those old things?” Hisoka hummed, tapping his chin with a finger in a fake attempt at remembering them, “Oh, I gave them away.”

“W-what?” Gon squeaked, feeling his blood boil.

Hisoka indicated to his own clothes, which Gon had not realized how unusual they were until now. He was wearing bike shorts and a tank top, a lot like what Gon had worn when he had first met the magician. This made the boy squint as the man continued to explain, “You see, tank tops and fitted shorts are much more in season now, _ I’m just helping you stay up to date with the latest styles _ .”

Gon had no idea what to say about this. There was a part of him that doubted the clown, but he also knew that the man was quite fashion minded, so maybe it was the truth. Either way, he couldn’t just walk around in the nude, so he held out his hand, “Then give me something to wear, what are you waiting for?”

“I’m just taking in the sights.” Hisoka sighed softly before he handed the boy a pink and white striped shopping bag. 

Then the man spun around, giving Gon a bit of privacy, “Let me know if anything doesn’t fit.”

Gon hesitated a moment before he got up from the bed and began to dig through the shopping bag. There were no boxers, and instead were various types of boyshort panties, which made him grumble. He slipped on a black pair, which was surprisingly comfortable, but still not what he was used to. He then found a tank top, which was black with two little buttons on the front at the bottom of the neckline. When he put it on it at least fit right, and it was shockingly very breathable fabric. Then he looked for the shorts. When he found them he blushed, finding the jean shorts that Hisoka had bought were even shorter than the ones he wore when he was younger. He sighed, slipping them on. He still felt a bit naked, but he was glad to have something on over his skin. Then he looked in the bag again, seeing if the man had picked out anything else. Then when he found the socks, that’s when he knew that Hisoka was just playing with him. He put them on still, not wanting to displease the man, but he hated every second of it. They came up to his thighs, hugging them in a particular way, which made the skin around it curve. Gon remembered that Killua had liked it when women’s socks did that, so he assumed that Hisoka had similar tastes.

Gon found himself standing still, looking down at his legs. He felt bitter, a part of his mind began to feel numb yet again. He examined the outfit he wore, but he did not really see it.  _ Killua, _ his brain clung to his name,  _ if you saw me today, what would you say _ ?

Hisoka hummed, breaking the boy from his thoughts, “Are you dressed,  _ my little apple _ ?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Gon sighed, turning to see that the man was already looking at him. 

The boy wondered how long he had been looking at him, but he figured it was better that he did not know. Instead he spoke up, “I’m starving.”

Hisoka’s eyes were still going over the boy’s body, looking pleased with the outfit choice, “What would you like to eat?”  _ Because I know what I would like _ , Hisoka’s mind buzzed as he licked his lips.

Gon thought about it for a second, then suddenly smiled widely, “I can have anything?”

“ _ Of course _ .” Hisoka loved that tone of voice, how he adored his toy when he was so excited.

Gon continued to grow more excited, remembering a restaurant he had previously tried with Killua when they were here to compete in the arena, “Do you like noodles?”

Hisoka was surprised that the boy was so worked up over something as simple as noodles, although Gon’s excitement was refreshing. He sighed rather dreamily, putting his hands on his hips and jutting them forward a bit, “Noodles sound divine  _ sir Gon _ .” He laughed a little by the end of his sentence. 

Gon blushed, but he was glad to have a say for once. So he only continued to smile, looking around for his shoes, “Great! I can’t wait. This restaurant is delicious!”

Hisoka watched the boy move around for a bit before letting him know that his shoes were in the living room. He liked watching him struggle over small things. Once the boy left the room, Hisoka went to the bathroom to check his makeup really quickly, and grab more acceptable clothing. He changed rather quickly, excuses already formed in his mind. When Gon saw him again in the livingroom, he squinted at him. So, Hisoka used his various excuses for the outfit change, “I’m not feeling shorts right now, especially when we are dining out.”

Gon was unconvinced, however, again he would not argue. He was far too excited to get out of the apartment. Hisoka put on his favorite heels, which he kept by the doors of the elevator, then he pressed the button to call for it. Gon stood next to him, basically hopping up and down in excitement. Hisoka watched, pleased with the show. Then when the elevator opened, he let Gon run in ahead of him, then he walked in and stood next to him, quickly selecting the first floor and scanning his card. When the elevator closed again, he pulled out his phone, and typed on it quickly. Gon had barely noticed what the man was doing, but when he did he tried to reposition to read what Hisoka was typing. However, just as an emoji was visible, Hisoka closed the phone quickly and returned it to his pocket.

Gon frowned, but decided not to press on it in this instance. He did not want to ruin their meal before they’ve had the chance to have it. Then the elevator door opened.

Killua felt almost lost as he walked through Yorknew, as he had no idea where Gon could be in such a large city. He did not know that his brother, who had gotten him this far, was planning something behind his back. He was only interested in separating Gon and Hisoka before he could get hurt badly. He knew that Gon had been going through something he would never entirely understand, and he knew Hisoka was the opposite the boy needed to heal. He bit his lip,  _ how fucking dare he just take him like that _ . 

Illumi hummed, feeling Killua’s frustration rise, “Brother, you need a clear head or else we will get nowhere.”

“We’re already getting nowhere!” Killua yelled, crossing his arms in anger.

Illumi gave his brother a look, not much different to ones he normally would give, but something in his eyes made Killua calm himself just a bit. He slowly relaxed his arms back to his sides, shoving them back into his pockets. He pursed his lips, eyes glancing around, “Do you think Hisoka still lives at the Heaven’s Arena?”

Illumi shrugged, “It is worth looking into.”

Killua nodded, turning on his heels to go that way, but was immediately stopped once he heard Illumi’s phone go off. Illumi pulled it out, lazily looking at it before he put it away again, “I know where to go. Come on.”

Illumi hurried past Killua before he could say anything. So the teen quickly picked up the pace and followed the older man. Soon they stood beneath the Arena, and once inside Illumi led his brother to the elevator. The boy tried to stop him, attempting to explain that they could not use the elevator without permission. 

Then surprisingly Illumi pulled out a card for the elevator and was able to type in a floor. Killua stood beside him in disbelief, not understanding how his brother had managed to get his hands on a top floor pass.  _ What the hell, what is this _ , now he knew something was up.

Quickly Killua went into a defensive position, but just as he reacted a needle was pressed against his throat, and Illumi spoke precisely, “Don’t move.”

“What the hell Illumi?” Killua yelled.

“You will do as we say, or else you will not be seeing Gon again. Do you understand?” Illumi said, his pressure becoming a looming shadow over the teen

Killua clamped his mouth shut, scared to make his brother do something unpredictable. Instead he nodded slightly, and stood straight. He tried to calm his heart, eyes glued to the elevator door as it opened.

_ Gon, please be okay,  _ he begged no one. 


	6. Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Gon have a cute little date in a noodle shop, then things get serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to get this chapter written, and I am glad. I feel a bit worse today, as college is being rather unforgiving to me. But, I will write when I can, and I hope to continue writing like normal. Wish me luck tomorrow my beautiful readers!

Warm and fresh, noodles served in a homemade fashion, egg on top for added protein. Gon’s eyes gleamed excitedly as he thanked the waitress, almost forgetting where he was and who he was with for just a moment. The boy pulled apart his chopsticks, smiling up at Hisoka who was dreamily staring into the broth of his meal. He hoped that the man would at least try the meal, as even someone with such a strange personality could really use a nice nutritional meal.  _ I sound like his mom, or even his wife _ , Gon told himself, feeling quite weird about it. 

Hisoka seemed to notice Gon’s prying eyes, as he grabbed his chopsticks, and began to prod at his meal, though he seemed rather uninterested, “You haven’t touched your food.”

Gon pursed his lips in thought before he managed to reply, “I want you to take a bite first. I don’t want you just throwing it away without at least trying it.”

Hisoka looked up at the teen in interest, not expecting his rather caring response, “Does it matter if I eat it?”

“Yes, because everyone deserves a hot and delicious meal. Aunt Mito always says that if you don’t eat you’re bound to get sick, or grumpy.” Gon knew he was being a bit of a hypocrite, but he did believe his aunt’s words.

Hisoka felt flattered by Gon’s concern, actually taking a small bite of the meal. Ah, it is warm and very tasty, Hisoka’s mind remarked, his voice sounding rather pleased, “ _ Delicious _ .” 

Gon seemed happy with that response, so he began to eat from his bowl. By this point various customers were talking about them, Hisoka heard their murmurs. Though, he knew no one would dare do anything about the odd couple. No one here was a hero. He smiled at that thought, putting a few more noodles into his mouth to keep up the appearance of normality. 

Gon looked up at the man, eyes shining in delight as he shoved food into his face ravenously. He had not eaten this well in years, and now his body wanted him to make up for it. Every bite brought on a hunger he had not known, and soon his bowl was empty. Hisoka hummed at the sight, and flagged down the waitress, whispering into her ear before settling back down and taking another bite of his own meal. Gon watched him for a moment, still feeling hungry, then was further delighted when another bowl was laid in front of him.

Hisoka was happy that the boy was eating, and he would make note to take him out to eat again sometime soon. He loved watching the boy finish another bowl, though he knew anymore would be pushing it. So, instead he paid and left a sizable tip for the waitress, because even if Hisoka loved to end lives he wasn’t an animal. Gon noticed the generosity, smiling a bit before he hurried after the man, who was already holding the door open for him. The teen passed him, walking out into the sunlight. It was about six in the evening now, so the sun was still in the sky, just barely. 

Hisoka walked next to the boy, arms crossed over his chest. Gon couldn’t help but occasionally glance up at the man, as he felt pretty happy and content, and it was all because of him. Gon looked down at his feet, his face beginning to burn, “Thank you for the food.”

“ _ You’re very welcome, my little Gon _ .” Hisoka cooed, loving the positive attention from the boy.

Gon’s eyes remained low for awhile now, as he thought again about his socks. Something about them made him picture Killua, and how he would react to them. A part of Gon felt he would ignore them, or call them stupid, but another part of the teen could feel the ghost of his friend’s fingers gliding up and down his legs, feeling where skin met cloth. He couldn’t control these thoughts, and soon he found himself partially worked up from them. He tried to ignore it, looking up towards the sky instead, but he still longed for those touches.

Hisoka hummed, looking down at his companion, “Are you feeling alright, _ Gon _ ?”

“Y-yeah, sorry I was just thinking.” Gon stammered, face only becoming more red.

Hisoka only smirked wildly, convinced immediately that Gon had been thinking about him and how to reward him for taking him out for such a thoughtful meal.  _ Yes, that has to be it, _ he told himself.

Then they made it back to the arena, so they both went inside and to the elevator. Once inside, Gon had a burning question in his mind, “When are we leaving the city?”

“By next week.” Hisoka hummed, pressing the right buttons to get to his floor.

“Where are we going?” Gon let his curiosity free now.

“We are going to a great library, as it should contain information that will help us in our journey.” Hisoka answered honestly, hand now on his hip.

Gon felt bored just hearing the word library, but if it was really necessary to regain his lost nen, then he would do it. He just hoped that the magician knew what he was doing, and not just getting his hopes up for nothing more than his own amusement. Though, a part of Gon knew that the man could possibly be playing with him, he simply put his faith in him. Likely because he never truly decided if Hisoka was evil or not. He acted evil, but really Gon could only think of a handful of times where Hisoka’s morality was truly questionable. Sure, he served himself, but he never robbed a bank to Gon’s knowledge. He concluded that Hisoka was simply a chaotic person, and truly couldn’t be pinned to good or evil. 

The elevator door opened, tearing the boy from his thoughts. He had forgotten about what was going on, and had to take a second before he walked forward to enter the apartment. That’s when he heard something, and smelled a familiar scent. Gon spun around, facing Hisoka, eyes wide, “Is someone here?”

Hisoka smiled, air becoming heavy around him, “ _ Surprise. _ ”

Gon furrowed his eyebrows, then hurried towards the bedroom. He flung the door open, eyes scanning the room. Then their eyes met, mouths agape. It was Killua,  _ my god is he tall _ , Gon’s mind immediately began to buzz,  _ why is he here, his hair is so much longer than I remember _ .

Killua quickly crossed the room to Gon, his eyes taking in every detail. _ He’s so much smaller than I remember, and those clothes, shit, Killua stop that _ , he felt his face redden, eyes now on those socks. Both boys now stared at one another dumbly, which only made Hisoka laugh as he walked around them and to Illumi’s side. Illumi seemed less amused, actually looking more annoyed than anything. It was obvious who had planned this,  _ but why _ , Gon had had managed to wonder. 

Killua was finally able to tear his eyes off of his friend, now his hostility returning, “Why are we here? What the hell is happening?”

Illumi opened his mouth to say something, but Hisoka quickly cut him off, “Well  _ Gon _ and I are going on a journey, and having done a bit of research I know that we will require help.” Hisoka leaned forward, eye level with Killua, “ _ Besides _ ,  _ we both would like private time with our favorite boys, and how else than a long trip _ ?”

Killua’s hands balled into fists, wishing to punch that stupid grin off of the clown’s face, but then Gon’s arms wrapped around him from behind, stoping any violent thoughts almost immediately. The taller teen stiffened and looked back as best as he could, “W-what are you doing? You shouldn’t want to go along with this!”

“He’s going to help me Killua…” Gon muttered, tightening his grip just a bit.

“What, how?” Blue eyes filled with worry, the teen decided to hear his friend out.

“He knows that there is a way to bring back my nen. He has promised to help me.” Gon explained.

“But what do you have to give in exchange?” Killua reasonably asked.

Hisoka decided to answer for him, looking pleased with himself, “ _ His body, and his soul, it is all mine the second his nen returns _ .”

Illumi rolled his eyes, speaking up himself, “I have given him our services so you cannot turn this down, or run away. We must see this through, brother.”

Killua growled, protectively backing away from the men to distance Gon from them. He wanted to get far away from this, and get Gon into safety. However, as he moved he only felt his friend’s feet dig into the floor, trying to stop him.  _ He really believes this bullshit, _ Killua concluded,  _ what the hell do I do _ ? He bit his lip, searching for answers before he spoke up quickly, “Fine, I’ll help in this stupid journey, but once you fail I am taking Gon far away from you! Also, he is not to leave my sight, understand?”

“ _ Such a big boy, making big boy demands _ .” Hisoka moaned, almost seeming turned on by the drama.

Illumi put his hand over the man’s mouth, speaking up, “Fine, I feel that is fair.”

Then Illumi quickly pulled his hand away, wiping it on his clothes as Hisoka had licked it. He grumbled as he did so, speaking lowly to the clown, “You know how I feel about you doing that.”

“That it makes you go _ crazy? Yes I know _ .” Hisoka purred, standing up straight now.

Killua felt like he might puke, so he turned and led Gon into the living room. He noted how Gon had not had a place set up to sleep in there, which made him fear that the man had him sleep in bed with him. He decided it was better to not know, and instead he had the boy sit down before kneeling in front of him, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Gon blushed a bit from the intense look Killua was giving him, shaking his head quickly, “N-no.”

_ He’s lying _ , Killua knew that, but he knew that he should not press. They hadn’t seen each other in about two years, and he didn’t want to leave a strange impression. He took in a breath before he spoke carefully, trying to be calm, “H-how have you been, bud?”

That made Gon get a look in his eyes, one that Killua recognized to be sadness. He hated that look, but he gave Gon space to talk. The boy finally found his words, eyes looking towards the bedroom, “I feel like I’ve lost control of my life. But I sure am glad to see you. How did you get so tall?”

“I guess I lived, I don’t know.” Killua shrugged, then he smiled a bit, “But, I am glad to see you too. It’s been too long.”

Gon managed to look back towards his best friend, then slowly a smile formed on his face, a real smile. It felt nice, to smile like this, it almost felt weird to the teen. He found his voice had heightened a pitch, he didn’t need to act tough around Killua, he was his best friend after all, “Aunt Mito called Hisoka old, I have never seen him so bothered.”

Killua’s breath caught, and he tried not to laugh too loudly, “Wait, really?”

Gon nodded, laughing himself, “Yeah, I just told her that he was like Leorio, she bought that.”

Killua laughed into his hands, “Leorio does look old.”

They both giggled to each other, feeling worlds better. Killua smiled at his friend, how he had missed him, and how he had missed this. He bit his lip,knowing that this could be short lived.  _ I will make up for lost time _ , he promised himself, he promised Gon.


	7. A Change Of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka promises a great last night in the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my beautiful readers! I wanted to personally thank ChuntaoCreations for their lovely comment and answer their questions. Total Departure is a play off of the song that is played before each episode of Hunter X Hunter, as I listen to the song a lot when writing, who knew! Also, I certainly plan on Hisoka and Illumi getting some alone time in the future, as adventure often ends in strange late night talks and other things haha. I'm glad you kept up with my story, and thank you for checking up on me, I'm doing a bit better now and I am happy to be writing again. I also wish to thank Olivelove for their comments! Let it be known that user Thor94 will be very happy about chapter 8, but will have to wait like everyone else, haha.   
> Anyway, enjoy this saucy chapter!

A few days had passed since Killua and Illumi had joined the expedition. Hisoka often left the apartment to do research and purchase supplies for the journey. This allowed Killua and Gon to get to know one another again, though it wasn’t hard for the two of them to become similar to how they had been before Gon’s depression and isolation. Killua noted how much better the smaller boy had been doing, and even caught him humming and smiling to himself on occasion. The hope Hisoka had given him was just enough to bring him back above the abyss, but if the man was wrong Killua feared how the boy would react. 

Illumi had mostly kept to himself during these days, and only left the guest room to make coffee or to use the bathroom. Killua knew he was simply giving them privacy, which was a strange concept to the boy as Illumi was normally overbearing, but he was thankful for the time he had with his friend. Now, they were sat together in the kitchen, eating breakfast and talking, the normalcy of it all making Killua’s heart swell as he joked with the smaller teen, “Yeah, I maybe a jerk but at least I look like a teenager.”

Gon stuck out his tongue, crossing his arms over his chest, “I look like a teenager! I’m a mature one too!”

“Sure you are.” Killua laughed, rolling his eyes.

Gon glared at him playfully, “At least I don’t have girly hair.”

“Oh, yes, girly, is that why my dad has long hair, or oh wait, my brother?” Killua jabbed back, smiling to himself.

“Still is girly.” Gon insisted, though he knew it wasn’t a strong argument as Killua looked so handsome with long hair.

_ No wait, _ Gon’s face flushed red,  _ did I just think that _ ? He hid his face behind his hands, trying to give another comeback, but now his entire argument was melting, butterflies swarming his stomach in an unforgiving nature. Killua watched his friend suffer in silence, eyes taking in the whole sight. Now he comfortably thought,  _ he looks so cute when he does that _ . He was unashamed of these thoughts now, as the past few days were filled with them.

Gon looked up between his fingers, catching the other teen’s eyes. Now they stared into each other’s gazes for longer than they ever had before, their hearts beating against their rib cages in a way that demanded freedom. But Killua managed to look away instead, and back to his breakfast, picking at his eggs mindlessly, “So, we leave tomorrow, right?”

Gon felt his heart finally slow a bit, his smile returning a bit to the thought of adventure, “Yep, that’s what Hisoka is insisting on. I wonder where we are going first.”

Suddenly a voice spoke up from behind Killua, making the boy tense up as he normally would when he heard his brother speak. He sounded as monotone as every, eyes obviously on his brother, “I believe he said something about Syksy island. It is a place that leaves forever fall from the trees.” he gained an almost dreamy expression on his face when he described it, “It is a very beautiful island, which contains the Great Library of Whispers. This is why we are going to be wearing warm clothes, as the closer we get to the library the colder it gets.”

Gon gave an amazed look, eyes wide, “Why is that?”

Illumi shrugged, going over to the coffee machine, “Some say that the spirits of the authors haunt the forest around the library, so they absorb all warmth around them.”

“That sounds dangerous.” Killua pointed out, getting worried about Gon almost immediately, “Will it be safe for Gon?”

Gon puffed up his cheeks, ready to give his friend an earful, but Illumi interjected before he could, “There are three nen users, so I am sure it will be the easiest thing we do on this journey.” He poured himself a cup of coffee, looking pleased as he quickly took a sip, then turned leaning against the counter as he drank.

Killua noted how nice his brother looked that day. He had been wearing a lot of home clothes, comfort items, but today he wore a green off the shoulder sweater, his hair up in a neat bun. The way the tights he wore hugged his legs made Killua avert his eyes after examining them for a bit too long, he spoke in a low tone trying not to show too much interest, “Why are you dressed like that anyway?”

“Hisoka has insisted that we all go out on a night in the city. I tried to tell him that I am far too busy, but of course he never listens to me.” Illumi muttered in between sips.

_ So you dress like your expecting to impress him, _ Killua wondered bitterly, though he kept such thoughts to himself, and instead leaned back with a sigh, “Do we have to go on a date with the two of you? I’d rather do anything else.”

Illumi allowed a small blush to fill his cheeks, but he did not show any other type of emotional response, “If I have to go, then so do you.”

Gon shrugged, starting to regain his optimism, “Come one Killua, it could be fun. Besides, I haven’t been outside in like three days.”

Killua looked at the smaller teen. He really couldn’t fight him over this, so instead he shrugged, giving in for the moment, “Fine, but if it is lame we’re going to leave.”

Gon nodded, smiling wide, “Deal! I wonder where he’s going to take us.”

“Probably a strip club.” Killua grumbled.

Gon reddened a bit, just remembering that such places even existed, “Ew, I hope not!”

Illumi finished his cup of coffee, looking between the two boys, before laying his eyes on his brother, which only made Killua more and more uncomfortable. The teen almost squirmed under the pressure his brother exserted on him. He wished to disappear when Illumi gave him such looks. However, he was powerless to this, and instead tried to act as normal as possible. Though he did not know why his brother was looking at him like that. 

Gon noticed the tension in the air, so he stood, grabbing his empty plate and going to the sink to clean up after himself. Illumi followed suit with his cup, which let Killua breathe for a second before Illumi passed by him, saying, “Come to the room, we should talk.”

Then the man disappeared back into the guest room, door cracked open for when Killua would follow. He was in no hurry to do so, and instead looked at Gon, smiling weakly at him, “So, where do you want to go when we ditch them?”

Gon giggled, hands on his hips, “I want to play video games.”

“ _ Man _ you always speak my mind.” Killua hummed.

Gon laughed again, rushing past his friend, “Make sure to clean up, I’m gonna get dressed.”

Killua sighed happily before he finished his meal and did as he was told to do. Then he carefully walked towards the guest room, which was the room he had been forced to share with Illumi. Luckily the older man tended to leave at night, and would only come back in the morning. Killua knew that being confined in a large building like this was not Illumi’s favorite thing in the world, so likely he went to sleep elsewhere, or walk around. Now the teen peeked into the room, seeing the man fold their laundry on the bed, legs crossed where he sat. Killua couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about his brother’s outfit really made him feel strange.  _ Like the ladies in those magazines _ , he couldn’t help but think, but of course his brother was neither naked or being paid to seduce the reader.

“Are you coming in?” Illumi hummed, eyes not leaving his task.

Killua begrudgingly stepped in, closing the door quietly behind himself. His voice was almost a whisper, feeling the air thicken, “What do you want?”

“Killua, do you remember when you were little? When it would rain, I mean.” Illumi muttered, still continuing his task. 

“No, I don’t.” Killua said, eyes narrowing at his brother suspiciously.

“Okay.” A small pang of hurt was in his voice, one that had Killua’s mind reeling.

_ What the hell is so important about raining when I was little _ , he wondered. He tried to focus his mind on it, but all he got back were blank memories, ones he could only slightly recall a warmth from. He looked down at his feet, trying harder to remember the impossible to reach memory.  _ Why did this hurt him so much _ , Killua wondered,  _ why would he ask me about it _ ? He finally shook his head, looking back at his brother who was still folding, his voice returned to him in that moment, “Why?”

“No reason.” That hurt remained in his voice, not so well hidden.

Killua had remembered him sounding like this only once before. It was one time when their father had threatened to cut off his hair for disobeying him. That was a far away memory now, but he remembered that his father had insisted on it because Illumi refused to do something, kill something, then their father wanted him to regret it entirely. He remembered Illumi crying, it was the only time he could recall the man crying, saying that his hair was important, but refusing to say why. That year Illumi wore his hair short. The memory stung Killua’s brain as a big event, as this was the year he stopped talking to Illumi as much.  _ Why is that _ , he wondered,  _ why did I stop talking to him then _ ?

Illumi’s voice broke his thoughts, shattering the wall between them, “Do you hate me, Killu?”

Killua’s eyes widened, now backing up to the door, hand on the handle prepared for retreat. The air, it was thick was sadness, and Killua did not know how to say anything. His breath was thick, like chains in his lungs, refusing to let him speak. The way his brother looked at him, knives in his heart.  _ Why does this have to happen now, of all times, _ he wondered, heart beginning to race. 

Illumi finally finished folding, not not having anything to keep his hands busy they sat in his lap, eyes remaining down towards them. He eventually spoke again, trying to free his brother from the circumstances he had pushed onto him, “I’m sorry, you can leave if you wish.”

This gave Killua a bit of room to breathe again, his voice being found once more, “I don’t hate you, I just don’t know you.” Then he quickly turned and left the room, closing the door behind himself swiftly. 

Outside stood a worried looking Gon and an interested Hisoka. The man, who towered over the two, had his hands on his hips, looking pretty amused, “I  _ love _ family drama, but why don’t you save it for after our  _ dinner date, h’m _ ?” The man purred. 

Killua pushed past him, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Shut up.”

Gon chased after him, so Hisoka took this time to enter the guest room to check on Illumi. Although the two men didn’t always get along, Hisoka still felt like the two had a sort of alliance since they had first met. Now he stood over the stoic man, finding many emotions creeping into those void filled eyes. Something about it made the clown’s skin crawl, and not in a satisfying way that killing did. He felt his arm move on its own, and he did nothing to stop it as his hand placed itself onto the other man’s head, petting it a bit, “He’ll come around.”

“I hope for once you are right.” Illumi muttered, eyes staying down. 

Normally he would slap Hisoka’s hand away, as he knew this would only be used against him at a later date. However, the warmth was welcome to the man, and instead of fighting it he allowed it for once.  _ Though it will only be this one time, _ he told himself, furrowing his eyebrows. 

Hisoka sat beside his friend, eyes on the door, voice low, “Maybe he just needs a  _ push _ .”

“What are you suggesting?” In this instance Illumi was all ears, and Hisoka was very excited by answering.

Gon had changed into a nice baby pink pair of shorts and white tank top. He wore those thigh high socks with a bit more confidence than he had before, which only drew his friend’s eyes more and more. Gon looked out the windows, eyes going over the horizon, “I wonder where we are going, please don’t be somewhere weird.”

Killua’s eyes kept wandering over his friend, taking advantage of his eyes being distracted. Though when the boy turned back to him, he quickly looked forward towards the window, to keep his peeking a horribly kept secret, his voice heightened a bit in embarrassment, “P-probably somewhere weird, which is why we will be ditching them.”

Gon smiled a bit, soft pink flushing his cheeks, “Yeah, and then we are going to play video games.”

“Exactly.” Killua nodded, eyes finally meeting Gon’s for a second.

The smaller teen stood straight and leaned against the wall, getting a devious look in his eyes, something Killua had not expected. The boy seemed to be thinking, but the way he was almost made Killua’s knees buckle. Then he looked up at Killua, that look lingering in those golden eyes of his. He spoke lowly, not wanting to be overheard by the adults, “I think I want to show you something, when we are alone.”

“W-what do you mean?” Killua dared to ask.

Before Gon could say anymore, Hisoka returned to the room, eyes alight with excitement, “Who is ready for a night on the town?”

Gon jumped up, looking overjoyed by the thought, “I am! Where are we going?”

Hisoka put a single finger over his lips, shushing the boy in a teasing manner, “ _ It’s a secret. _ ”

Gon pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. Killua rolled his eyes, then began for the elevator after the magician and his best friend. He noted that Illumi was not coming, which made a pit grow in his stomach. He looked up towards the red haired man, worry clear in his voice, “Where is Illumi?”

“ _ Illu said he’ll meet up with us later _ .” Hisoka cooed, that flash of deviancy coming across his features before he began to input the number on the elevator panel. 

Gon couldn’t contain himself, so he was practically bouncing in place as the elevator descended. He looked at Killua with big eyes, voice small, “Hey, can I ask a favor?”

“Sure, what do you want?” Killua asked, looking down towards his friend.

“Can you hold something for me until we get to the restaurant?” Gon asked, voice still a whisper.

_ Damn, he’s so cute, _ Killua’s heart began to swell, “What is it?” The white haired boy managed to ask.

“I can’t tell you until you agree. Hold out your hand.” Gon replied secretively.

Killua rolled his eyes, holding out his hand, “Fine, now what-”

The taller boy was cut off once Gon put their hands together in a holding fashion. It was now obvious what he wanted, “There you go, now make sure you hold it until we get there. Alright?”

Killua melted, his face reddening quite a lot, “Y-you dweeb! If you wanted to hold my hand you should have just asked!”

Gon stuck out his tongue playfully, then faced forward, grip tightening on the taller teen’s hand. Hisoka almost couldn’t help but feel both jealous and a bit of fangirling. He averted his eyes, trying to not think about it too much. Though, he would surely get this sort of attention from Gon once he truly had a hold on him.  _ Gratitude is a powerful love potion after all _ , he concluded just as the doors again opened and he stepped out and towards the door. 

The boys followed behind the man, though on the inside Killua was completely melted from the contact between him and his friend. The way people looked at them,  _ we must look cute together _ , Killua couldn’t help but think. He shook his head, eyes going down so he wouldn’t catch their gaze. If he were a snowman, then Gon would have been the sun,  _ and man was he bright _ . 

Hisoka spoke up, voice full of intent that both boys were unsure of, “ _ Almost there _ .”

That’s when they were stopped outside of a park, which was not what either of them had expected. Hisoka turned to the boys, looking proud of himself, “This is it.”

“But this is a park.” Gon pointed out innocently.

Hisoka leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on the tip of the boy’s nose. This made the boy partially jump back, breaking his handhold with his friend. He covered his nose with his hands, face pure red, “W-what was that for?”

Hisoka laughed, standing back up and turning towards the park, walking in without another word. Killua glared at his back before looking down towards Gon, holding out his hand for him to take again. The boy did so without hesitation, though he was certainly more flustered now. He hated how bold Hisoka was with practically molesting his friend in a public space, which only made him want to ditch even more. He sighed, and began to lead him towards the park, following the clown into the bushes and far into a little wooded area. Then was when he felt something strange, and soon the world blurred. He squinted, knowing this sensation as he looked down at Gon. He barely had time to tell him to run before he found himself laid in the grass, Gon shaking him to get up. But it was too late, Illumi’s needle had done this, and now his vision was gone.

Time passed, he wasn’t sure how much, but he knew he felt unusually warm now. He felt something, a hand maybe, pressed against his chest. It was so warm, so welcome. He began to have flashes, his vision returning. It was dark where he was, and his arms and legs felt so heavy. He knew he was inside, and he knew he was somewhere he did not immediately know.  _ Where is Gon _ , he wondered. 

Slowly he looked down, finding that he was not alone, above him, sitting on his hips was his brother, looking deep into his eyes, hand pressed against his chest. He tried to squirm his way from under him, but he couldn’t because he was still too weak. Whatever he had done to him was not wearing off too quickly, and he felt real fear rise in his gut.

Illumi cocked his head to the side, voice low, “I’m going to apologize now, before we get started.”

“What do you mean?” Killua managed to say, his mouth unusually dry, “Where are we?”

Now he could tell he was on the floor, and it must have been tile. It was so cold against his back, it almost threatened to make him shiver. He tried to refocus his attention back to his brother, then his eyes widened, the man’s shirt was torn, barely rags hanging off of him. He wondered how that had happened. Then a small idea flashed in his mind, he had done this with his fingernails, he had to have when he was unconscious. He was trying to protect himself. He had hurt his brother, and he did not know if he should feel bad about it or not.

Illumi leaned closer, lips just above his brother’s as he spoke, “It does not matter now. This does.” Then he thrust their lips together, making the boy whimper in surprise.

Now Killua’s body reacted, and soon Illumi was knocked to the floor beneath him, his hands around his thin neck. Killua's fingers dug into his brother's neck, though he did not press hard enough to kill, only enough to cause cuts to form where his fingernails connected. How much his mind screamed for him to end this, to squeeze the life out of Illumi. But then, the urge went away, and his smaller body laid on top of Illumi's. His hands now sliding down and resting against the man's chest. Illumi blinked a few times, seeming to be thinking about what had happened. His voice remained monotone, but the inflection changed to that of curiosity, "Killu? You hesitated."

"Don't sound so disappointed…" Killua muttered, heart beginning to race despite his best efforts. 

After a long time, Illumi's voice sounded again, but this time it was different, "It's raining outside.”

_ What is the deal with him and rain today, _ Killua wondered before he felt something, his mind buzzing a memory finally surfacing that he had hidden away. He remembered just barely a time long ago, where the boy had been not much older than five years old. He squinted, remembering that he was scared. He never thought he had been scared of rain, now he found it so relaxing. But, back then he did not see the world as it was yet, and he found his younger self clinging to a tall slender form, tears freely leaving him as he had. The taller figure, with newly cut hair, held him close, humming a song. That song he hums when he fold laundry, or when he’s doing small tasks. Killua knew it well, it was a soft one, in the tune of a song they both liked. He bit his lip, looking up at his brother, eyes soft now, anger completely gone, “I think I know what you mean now. By the rain I mean.”

Illumi seemed delighted, though he did not let it sit on his face for very long. Instead he spoke in a tone he had used back then, “I want you to cure this feeling I have. Please, Killu.”

“H-how?” The boy barely managed to ask before their lips again met, and Illumi forced the boy sit up again.

He found himself sat in his lap, bodies pressed together. Killua had never felt so nervous about anything before, but now he found himself being guided by someone he had trouble trusting, let alone doing any of this with. He ran his hands over his slender form, part of Killua finding the soft skin beneath the fabric enticing. He wondered if this is how it all felt, and temptation made him slide his hands up Illumi’s shirt through one of the cuts. The man arched his back, face turning pure red as a soft noise escaped him.

Killua found himself exploring every inch of the man, his voice low and heavy as he had, “H-has anyone touched you like this?”

“O-once…” Illumi whimpered needily, eyes looking away from his brother, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Killua respected his wishes, and instead began to pull up the man’s shirt. He had no idea what he was doing, so he just let his body do what it felt was right. He knew where this was going, and he did not want it to go any further, but he also did not want to leave his brother like this either. He knew from living with the same family that they both craved contact, attention, and love. That was why Killua had clung to Gon so much when they were younger, and only now did he realize how bad it was. He could not stop himself, he needed relief. 

Illumi leaned closer to the teen, his voice hot against his ear, “K-Killu, I need you.”

Killua nodded slowly, swallowing thickly before he pushed up the man’s shirt. When that was done, he threw it aside, then felt all over that delicate body. Untouched by most, it felt so clean other than the damage Killua had unconsciously done. The boy bit his lip, he was getting hard from this of all things. He could not stop. He found himself kissing the man’s neck, licking at the cuts he had inflicted there. The blood was strong, a metallic taste fueling the boy’s actions, and making the man moan. He turned a bit, pressing his brother against the wall and beginning to tug at the tights he wore. They came off easily, and discarded in the same unceremonious way the torn sweater was. 

Illumi looked so small now beneath him, his body trembling with need his voice thick like the air between them, “ _ D-don’t ever stop, please _ …”

Killua did as he was told, his body now forcing his own clothes onto the floor. He did not care anymore, he was unashamed of his instincts. He pressed the man harder into the wall, forcing their lips together into a hot kiss. Their tongues almost immediately fighting in Illumi’s mouth as Killua took total charge. His dominance was exactly what Illumi had hoped for, and it showed as his cock pressed against the teen’s stomach. This prompted the younger boy to lift his brother’s hips just a bit, his fingers grabbing onto his ass and admiring how soft it was. Then he moved inward, a single finger dancing across the entrance in a teasing manner. Illumi whimpered, pressing his body against the boy’s. This was enough for Killua to press his finger into the welcoming hole, and it slid in with surprising ease. Illumi arched his back a bit, mewing softly to the insertion, his eyes closing tight, “ _ K-Killu _ …”

“ _ You like that, huh? _ ” He breathed, moving his fingers in and out smoothly.

Illumi’s hands grasped at anything he could, his moans soft against the teen’s ear. He found his mind wandering while doing this, wondering if Gon would sound so sweet. He pressed in a second finger, earning a shiver from the man, then a loud squeak. He was beginning to push back, making the boy’s finger press in deeper. It was obvious the man had done this before, and Killua dreaded who with. He had an idea, as he knew it was the only man Illumi had spent any real time with. He wondered what would drive his brother to sleep with a clown. Though he also knew that desperation was strong, it was leading them to this after all. 

Now Killua pulled out his fingers, making Illumi whine with want. He glared at him a bit, speaking in an authoritative tone, and man did he love being able to boss the man around, “Quiet down, or else we’re done, alright?”

Illumi bit his lip, looking as though he were a puppy who had been caught chewing up a pair of shoes. He waited as he was told to do, watching Killua begin to lube up himself with spit, rubbing his painfully hard shaft. Then once he felt it was good to go, he smirked at the man, “Sit on it.”

Illumi nodded slowly before he positioned himself onto Killua’s cock, pressing it into himself before he slowly lowered onto it. Both men moaned to the sensation, Killua feeling his heart race in his ears as he became a bit light headed. Part of him feared that with how tight Illumi was he would never be able to pull himself out of him, but he also had seen porn before and had an idea that everything was going fine. He inhaled sharply as the man sat fully down, then gave him a stern look, “Now I am going to fuck you until I am satisfied, then we are not going to talk about this, okay?”

Illumi nodded, though he knew his brother was simply putting on a tough boy act. He was turned on by his aggressive behavior though, and welcomed it. He was mostly just glad that they were finally doing this, as he felt like he had to wait forever to be dominated by one of the only humans that he loved. He pushed those thoughts out of his head, smiling at Killua, “ _ Okay, Killu. _ ”

Killua then began to let his instincts take over once more, pressing the man into the wall as he began to move. The wall acted as a good counter balance, so Killua had plenty of power behind his thrusts. Each movement driving a soft moan from his brother, which drove him crazy. He had never dreamed that he would be the one to make his brother sound like this, but something about it was both bitter and sweet. He pushed onward, pressing deeply with each new thrust. His breath getting caught in his throat as he found his body tightening even more. Illumi whimpered, pressing their foreheads together, his voice a small moan, “I-I feel so  _ amazing _ …”

Killua could not hold it anymore, he turned swiftly, pressing his brother into the floor before he continued to pump himself into him. Illumi’s moans skyrocketed, his hair tie breaking as he arched his back in such a perfect way. Now his hair fell free around his thin form, sweat causing it to stick to various places. This drove Killua wild, and with just a few more thrusts he couldn’t hold it anymore, and he filled Illumi’s entrance up, and just a few more thrusts with the added warmth made the man cum onto himself all the way to his chest. Killua slowed, marveling at his work before he pulled out slowly, and laid beside his brother. 

The man breathed hard, voice uncertain, “I hope it was a good first time.”

Killua simply nodded, not wanting to say anything that would hurt his brother, or even encourage this. The shame of what had just happened was dawning on him slowly, as the high of his orgasm started to wear off. He wished he hadn’t done this, but his body was finally content. An unintended bonus of what had happened. He bit his lip, looking over towards Illumi, who laid still, eyes on the ceiling. He wondered if he regretted it, though he doubted it. It was clear that he had planned all of this, and no matter what Killua said from now on, it had happened, and now his virginity was owned by the man he called his brother. The thought made his head spin, and his stomach grow a sensation of guilt. “God we’re screwed up, huh?” He found himself saying.

Illumi smiled a bit, hands slowly going to his hair, feeling it absently, “Yes, I guess so.”

“Do you finally want to tell me where we are?” Killua asked.

“Still in the park.” Illumi would not hide anything in the mood he was in, a small smile glued to his usually emotionless face.

“So are we in like, the bathroom at the park?” Killua deducted.

“Yes.” Illumi admitted, then he slowly sat up despite the bit of pain that now stung his backside, “It is close to midnight, which was the plan.”

“Explain.” Killua’s eyes narrowed at the man.

“Hisoka had an idea. It actually worked.” Illumi muttered.

Killua’s eyes widened before he went to grab his clothes quickly, frantic to find Gon.  _ God, what the hell did I just do,  _ he whined to himself. Then quickly he found the door in the dark, only turning a bit to his brother who was still sitting on the floor, “Where are they?”

Illumi shrugged, honestly not knowing. That pissed the teen off, and quickly he left to search for his friend, hoping that Gon would have more control than himself.

A few hours earlier, Gon was lead away from Killua despite how much he protested the sudden change in plans. Hisoka acted deaf to anything the boy said, and eventually picked him up to keep him from fighting him. Gon looked up at the man with big eyes, his pout back, “Hisoka, what are you doing?”

Hisoka chuckled, finding no reason not to spoil a bit of the surprise, “I hear you like to watch the sunset, is this true?”

Gon’s face reddened, his eyebrows remaining furrowed in frustration, “Y-yeah, I guess. But I don’t like what you two did to Killua.”

Hisoka shrugged, looking the boy into his eyes, “It was necessary, as you can see, this will be the last night in Yorknew, and I need to show you one last thing before we leave in the morning.”

Gon crossed his arms, but he stopped protesting. This was it, and he decided not to waste his energy on something he could not change. Instead, he went along for the ride, but little did he know that it would change him forever.


	8. A Chapter For Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka gets his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly just a very kinky chapter, ha-ha. Either way, I'd like to thank Proud_red_cacti for leaving so many lovely comments, which I read while writing this! Also another thanks to ChuntaoCreations I always look forward to your feedback! I drank like a million cans of coffee, so here I go, writing the next chapter like a crazy person! Enjoy this one!

The day was getting close to its end, and the sun was getting ready to set. Hisoka found it to be a beautiful scene, as the sun setting was almost a form of dramatic irony, which was a concept he enjoyed applying to the situation. He gazed over towards Gon, who sat in the grass next to him, watching the sky with his big bright eyes. The innocence in those eyes drove the man crazy, and today he had decided to finally act on impulse, something he would have normally done without inhibition. 

Gon relaxed as he felt a soft breeze blow by, his eyes closing as he took in a deep breath, taking it all in. He had not expected any wrongdoing by his companion in this instance, as the sunset was indeed as nice as the man had purposed. They had found a spot by the ocean to sit, isolated from the streets of Yorknew, which was surprisingly quiet and calm. It was a perfect spot for Hisoka’s plan, since it was unlikely they would be found by anyone. He smirked to himself, humming a bit as he again glanced towards the boy. He allowed him this short moment of serenity, though the man’s hands already began to grip at the grass needily, tearing a few blades free from the dirt. He could hardly contain his excitement. 

Gon’s eyes slowly opened again, then they shot towards Hisoka. A nervous look crossed the boy’s face, his head tilting in curiosity, “What are you looking at?”

Hisoka's eyes filled with his true intent, his body language changing to become more imposing and dominant, his voice mirroring the change, " _ Part of me doesn't want to do this, as it is a shame to ripen a fruit so quickly, however, I have never been patient, and nor do I want my fruit to spoil. _ "

Gon scooted away, hands flying up defensively, voice quacking, "Y-you sound like you want to eat me!"

Hisoka licked his lips, grabbing the boy's hips, dragging his much smaller form back into his lap, " _ What a fantastic idea _ ."

Gon whimpered and again attempted an escape, but the man held his hips firmly, digging his fingernails into the boy’s soft flesh. He glared at the clown, trying to act tough despite the position he was in, “Let me go, I want to go back to the apartment.”

Hisoka ignored him, and instead leaned forward pressing their lips together aggressively. The boy put his hands on the man’s shoulders, hitting them as a last attempt, but once that failed he found himself melting. At first he did not know why, but then he realized that one of the man’s hands had moved to the small of his back, his fingers against his spine, fingernails lightly running across the virgin flesh. Gon’s back arched, his face pure red as a soft mew forced itself from his mouth as his lips were freed. Hisoka loved watching him squirm, and he was going to take his sweet time learning how to drive him crazy.  _ Mmm, yes, I will drive you crazy like you have been doing to me _ , he couldn’t help but think.

Gon looked away shyly, hands firmly grasping the man’s shirt. He knew it was no use, he was destined to do whatever the man had wanted. Something about that idea made the boy’s stomach stir in the most unusual way. It was like the time Hisoka had touched him before, but now it was more intense. Something about this, being held against his will and forced to do whatever the man pleased, it caused such butterflies in Gon's stomach. He felt like he was fighting again, before everything had been taken from him. Except this time he was free from responsibility, and he was simply made to do as the older man demanded. Something about that had made his body awaken emotions he had stored away, with emotions he had never felt before. He was excited to lose control. He was excited to let everything happen to him, rather than try and take charge. He found himself accepting the man’s advances, the way he rubbed his back and the way he looked at him.

_ I feel so dirty, _ he told himself,  _ but I really don’t care right now. No, _ he looked back towards the clown, determination filling his expression, his voice became unwavering, “Hisoka?”

Hisoka stopped moving for a moment, his attention being captured by the boy. Gon knew he was paying attention, so he let his body decide how to voice how he had felt, “You’re not going to stop, right?”

Hisoka nodded, devious look crossing his face, “ _ I’m not _ .”

Gon bit his lip before he leaned forward, pressing it against the man’s lips. The magician stiffened a bit, feeling a surge in his heart that made his nen spike. If he had been anyone else, Gon would not be alive anymore, but no, he was his fruit, and this excitement was welcome. The man pushed the boy against the ground, hands immediately working to practically tear his clothes from his body. Gon whimpered, weakly trying to cover anything he could, but his hands would be pried off of his form and forced up over his head. After this he could no longer separate them, Hisoka having used his bungee gum to secure them together. The boy knew he was in trouble now, but he would not waver, he did not want to look pathetic again, “Then don’t stop. I don’t care anymore.”

Hisoka didn’t think he would hear Gon willingly, no gladly submit to him, at least not anytime soon. The thought of him begging for more, and losing every inch of control was empowering to the man who craved a taste of his unripened fruit. To him this was the best case scenario, he felt like he had won the ultimate prize, and he couldn’t wait to cash it in. 

Without another word, the man tugged down his own pants, and removing the rest of his clothing. The way his skin glistened in the dimming sunlight only made Gon’s brain become more muddled with the situation. He had a deep longing to feel that skin against his own, and he wondered what it would feel like, to give complete control to the man.  _ Being helpless _ , he was getting hard,  _ I love being helpless _ .

Hisoka knelt in front of the boy now, taking in the sight once more before he slid forward, pulling the boy’s legs up over his own. Once they were pressed close together at the hip, Hisoka began to lightly touch the boy with his fingernails over his thighs. The boy in response arched his back and mewed, his cock only hardening even more from the feeling. Hisoka smirked at the sight, his hands moving closer to Gon’s hard on before ghosting away again. He was teasing him, taking his sweet time as he had intended.

Gon knew what the man was doing, and everytime he got close to being held then ghosted away, the boy whimpered loudly, trying to pull his arms free as his hips bucked upwards. The redhead tilted his head, licking his lips before he leaned forward and pressed the boy’s cock to his lips, and using a few fingers he held it up before he took it into the hot abyss of his mouth. 

Gon cried out, his eyes closing tight as his need was met. The man, having done this many times in his life, was skilled. His every move would cause maximum euphoria for the boy beneath him, but he had no intention of stopping anytime soon, so he would not push him too far. Gon’s hips bucked up needily, his voice a mess of moans and whimpers as he had, “W-why does this feel so good?”

Hisoka couldn’t help but smirk around his small cock, finding his words amusing. He had him right where he wanted him, and he knew now that they boy was the slut he knew he was. He sat up, a popping sound ringing between them as Gon’s cock was again released to the air, standing at attention. The teen whimpered again, fighting his restraints, “W-why did you stop?”

Hisoka laughed a bit, admiring his prey before he pulled him back up, sitting him on the grass. Gon glared at the man, not entirely knowing what he was expecting of him until he stood and pushed his cock into the boy’s face, offering it to him silently. Gon got it now, though he did not like the idea. He remembered the last time, how it had hurt and how out of control the man had gotten. He knew he had no choice though, again a thought that made goosebumps rise on his arms. He swallowed thickly before he opened his mouth for the man, tongue sticking out partially.

Hisoka grinned, happy to see he had learned. Quickly, before the teen could change his mind, the man slid his cock in swiftly. Again neatly trimmed pubic hair tickled Gon’s nose as he resisted the urge to gag around the man’s shaft. It was different this time, the boy noted, Hisoka moved slower, more controlled than his previous attempt. This allowed the boy to peek his eyes upwards, watching as the man restrained himself to the slower and calmer movements. He could tell he was going crazy on the inside, and he could tell that he craved roughness.  _ But _ , Gon concluded,  _ he is not trying to hurt me this time _ .

Hisoka let out a low moan, cheeks filling with a soft blush as bliss filled his features. Gon marveled at this look, never seeing Hisoka quite like this. Again butterflies fluttered in the teen’s stomach, and he found himself sliding his own head forward, taking the shaft as far as he could before swiftly pulling back and repeating the process. Hisoka could barely gasp in surprise before he groaned and doubled over the boy as he rammed the man’s cock over and over again into his awaiting mouth.

Gon knew he had to be doing a good job, so he refused to slow down, he continued to ram the man into him to earn such sweet noises. He used his moment of control as best as he could, and when Hisoka pulled his hair back and made him pull away, he licked his lips smirking and knowing he had bested the clown for the moment. Though, Hisoka was not done, and Gon knew that. _ So I will just have to keep playing along, _ he decided with a devious look.

Hisoka panted a bit, trying to stop reeling from the pleasure that rang through his body. He had almost reached his end thanks to that little stunt Gon had pulled, and he did not know if he was proud or extremely proud of the boy. He bit his lip, the excitement only growing as he pushed the boy back onto his back on the grass below. Gon looked up at him with those big eyes, which only drove the man even more crazy. He hugged onto his own form, turning dramatically as he snickered to himself, “ _ S-such a naughty boy...Gon…” _

Again Gon felt like he had won in this instance, as he had the clown flustered. He smirked to himself, knowing that in times like this he would still be able to have small victories. Hisoka slowly turned back once he had managed to calm himself down, as he had no intention of breaking his toy on his first outing. He laughed again, licking his lips as he sunk back down, again hip to hip with the boy below him. He again hooked his legs up and over his hips, taking in the sight of his hard cock as it stood proudly in the moonlight. Hisoka wished he could look at him like this forever, but it was getting close to time, and he did not want to risk losing his reward. 

Finally, the man licked his fingers before he brought them back down to Gon’s entrance, which had tightened to the prodding. Gon whimpered, body stiffening, “W-what are you doing now?”

“ _ I’m going to ripen you _ .” Hisoka again said, as though it was obvious.

Gon glared at the man, mad that he was unwilling to put it into terms he would understand. He then squeaked, feeling a single finger entering him slowly. He did not like this sensation, tears coming to his eyes, “S-stop that! It hurts!”

“ _ Aw, Gon, where did all of that confidence go? Hm? _ ” Hisoka cooed as he moved his finger in and out, hooking it occasionally as he played around.

Gon cried, his body shaking as he felt an even stranger sensation filled his entire being, his cock again standing at attention. Hisoka watched him squirm now, the victory he had over him long gone in that moment, a second finger sliding in and making the boy’s entire body quake. Hisoka knew this would be fun, taking that innocence away from Gon, and honestly he never remembered having so much fun with one of his play things. He practically purred watching Gon, eyes sparkling in the night, “ _ My good boy _ .”

Then he pulled his fingers out slowly, not able to wait anymore. Gon got a short moment of relief, the man pulling him closer before it was finally time, Hisoka began to push himself into his small body, his smirk grew wider as the boy cried out one more time. _ I did it _ , he concluded as he breathed heavily, _ I’m inside Gon _ .  _ How much I’ve dreamed of this,  _ he began to move almost immediately, almost forgetting that Gon was a virgin. This prompted tears to fill Gon’s eyes, his back arching awkwardly as his body shook in shock.  _ It hurts so much _ , he closed his eyes tight,  _ is he killing me? _

Hisoka leaned forward, pressing himself in deeper as he licked the tears off of the boy’s face. He knew he was going too far, but it was hard to separate this from fantasy. He tried to move a bit slower, and show some affection, though it was difficult for him to do even that. He had only had sex with one virgin before now, and he was looking for punishment, unlike Gon who had no idea what this even was. He knew he had to dial it back, he wanted to hear another noise from Gon, instead of these cries. 

Hisoka managed to slow down quite a lot, pushing himself to be gentler. Then he went to work on the affection, something not entirely natural for the man. He pressed his lips to Gon’s before he cooed a soft, “It’s okay, just breathe, okay?”

Gon whimpered, tilting his head away from the man. Hisoka took this chance and began to press light kisses up and down the boy’s neck, then slowly he began to bite. This caused a shocking change to occur, the first bite making Gon’s eyes close tighter as he mewed weakly. Hisoka noticed immediately, so he tried again, biting a bit harder on Gon’s collarbone. The boy arched his back, the sensation bringing him back from the mess he had been brewing in his mind. 

Hisoka knew now that the pain of the bite had to be balancing the pain in the boy’s body, and instead allowing him to feel a better sensation. He smirked, repositioning a bit to make sure he could bite all he wanted as he thrusted quicker. Gon did not cry now, he instead moaned and mewed in pleasure, his body began to tremble as he felt Hisoka’s hands rub his sides. He felt so many emotions all at once, so many new sensations. He opened his eyes, his stomach feeling even more strange. He was going to explode, and it was coming quickly. Before he could say a word about his condition it happened, and the boy found his body shaking violently as he was completely overtaken by his first ever major climax. Hisoka did not wait, he pushed himself faster as he felt the warmth of Gon’s seed seep onto his abdomen, then one last final push made the man cum in a way he would never forget. His own cum filled the boy completely, and when he finally caught his breath and sat up, he watched as it dripped down onto the ground around his shaft. He smirked at the sight, feeling accomplished. 

Finally, Gon was all his.

Killua walked quickly through the streets, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he cursed himself. He could not believe he had been so stupid, and now he had so much weight on his shoulders. He had wanted to share his first time with someone important, someone he loved unwaveringly, but now he was exhausted, fucked up, and pissed. 

He growled, kicking the ground in anger, “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He yelled to no one.

He sighed heavily after a moment, and continued towards the arena building. He hoped he would find Gon back in the apartment, and that he had been just watching a movie or something. He knew better than that, but he still allowed himself to retain some hope. Then he was finally in the building, however that was when it dawned on him that he did not have a card to the room. Again he felt frustrated, and now he found himself punching the button for the lift, almost as though hurting the machine would make a difference. When the doors opened, he heard a voice behind him, making him stiffen. Hisoka purred, “ _ I see you beat us home. _ ”

Killua spun around on his heels, ready to beat the shit out of the clown if he had to, however, his expression softened once his eyes laid on Gon, who was holding the clown’s hand, eyes downcast. He looked to be in okay health, though bruising on his neck was a red flag to the teen. He would not ask what had happened, as he already knew. So, instead, he would dedicate the rest of the night to his best friend, before they had to go on what Killua considered the most ideotic trip in the world.

They all climbed onto the elevator, and waited to put onto the right floor. Once there, Killua looked down towards Gon, knowing what they both needed, “Hey, let’s go take a bath, okay?”

Gon finally looked up at his best friend. A small smile found its way onto his face before he nodded. He could not fix what had happened, but he promised himself that he would at least clean the night off. That was the least he could do.


	9. The Day Has Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is getting ready for their journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a short morning after type chapter, as the next one will be a big adventure one, so be ready ha ha. Thank you again to Proud_Red_Cacti, your comments have really made my day~! This chapter is a bit of fan service for you, as I feel we could all use a bit of fluff now. Enjoy!

The bathwater was a welcome warmth after the night. Killua sunk into the soapy water, his eyes on Gon who undressed painfully slow. He knew that he had to have been sore from what Hisoka put him through, as he could not imagine that the man had been even remotely gentle despite the boy’s virginity. He hated that, and he had wished that someone, anyone, else had been the one to show Gon sex, as it was unfair to be with such a rough partner when he had no experience with anyone else. Killua wondered how he would make up anything that had happened, then his mind was set on how he would do this. 

Gon now slid into the bath slowly, tensing a bit until he had finally relaxed into the bottom. Killua gave him a soft smile, voice gentle, “You can come over here.”

Gon did not fight him on this, and instead, he slid himself over to the other teen, leaning against him. Killua slipped his arms around the smaller boy, holding him close to his chest. They both needed this, the alone time welcome. Killua closed his eyes, voice low and calm, “If you need anything, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

Gon looked up slowly, eyes filled with emotion. When Killua opened his own and looked into his friend’s, he felt his heart skip a beat. He wished he was better at these things, but he hoped he was just enough for the boy. When Gon spoke again, he was prepared for something off topic, as deflecting was Gon’s most recent way to get over events in his life, but now he only spoke about what had happened, “Why...why did I like it Killua?”

Killua felt his heart tense up, his body almost becoming sore to the mention of enjoying what Hisoka had done. He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remain calm, “Well, probably because sex is not meant to be bad. Even with someone like that bastard, your body will try and magnify any pleasure you felt. If you did, anyway.”

Gon seemed to consider this before he spoke again, “Did you ever have sex before?”

“Not until today.” Killua admitted, knowing that Hisoka likely had told him about Illumi’s intentions with him.

“Did you enjoy it?” Gon wondered out loud.

Killua regretted his next words, as he hated lying to Gon, but he couldn’t tell the truth about this, because then he would have to admit it to himself, “No, it should have never happened.”

Gon’s face pulled into a bit of grimace, as though he was thinking really hard. Then he pushed away a bit, eyes serious as they peered into Killua’s, “C-can I try something? So that I can see if it feels better.”

Killua felt his stomach flip, excitement overwhelming him, “A-alright.”

Then Gon got close yet again, his arms sliding up and around Killua’s shoulders before he pressed their lips together into their first kiss. Killua couldn’t believe what they were doing, but he did not want it to stop. He found his own hands rubbing Gon’s hips, his eyes closing as he took in the sweetness of the boy. He could definitely see why Hisoka had such a hard time holding back against the boy, he was a sunny day in a year of rain. As the clouds in Killua’s brain cleared, he sat back, eyes on the boy’s face. The way he blushed ever so lightly, and the way his eyes sparkled, Killua melted where he sat. He regretted a lot of today, but he did not regret that kiss. His voice remained low, though his heart swelled immesley, “Did it feel better?”

Gon smiled brightly, though something in his eyes bugged Killua, “It was perfect. Thank you.”

Killua nodded slowly, still feeling bothered by that look. He hoped he had not done anything wrong, and he quickly concluded the look was from the boy’s pain he had built up in his body from the experience prior.  _ Yes, _ he nodded,  _ that has to be it. _

Gon again leaned against the taller teen, who almost felt sunburnt on his face because of how it burned. He hugged the smaller boy against him, relaxing entirely. Eventually, Killua began to lightly wet the boy’s hair below him, then he began to calmly rub soap into it. Gon’s eyes slipped closed, enjoying the sensation. Most of their day melting away as the water washed away the soap. Killua again felt confidence swell in his chest, and he spoke up, eyes determined, “Gon, can I try something?”

Gon looked up, again his big sunny eyes practically rays on Killua’s flesh. If he was any less confident he would have looked away in haste, but no, he was ready to give Gon a true taste of what he wished for them. Then he shoved their lips together, his hands on the smaller boy’s hips as he pressed their faces together. Gon reacted much better this time, his whole being becoming more waxlike, and now Killua was the flame. When the kiss ended, his eyes showed genuine want, his hands now rubbing up and down on Killua’s chest. 

But then both boys were startled, the bathroom door slamming open. Hisoka ran in, giggling the whole way as he practically jumped into the tub with them. Killua jumped up, covering himself with his hands as Gon was thrown back into the bathwater. He pointed a finger at the man, who had joyfully joined them, “What the hell are you doing? Get the fuck out!”

Hisoka laughed, leaning back comfortably, “This is my tub, so my rules,  _ or did you forget little Killu? _ ”

Gon resurfaced, and managed a small smile, staying out of this fight as Killua shook his fist at the man, “Well we’re using it! You can’t just barge in here!”

“ _ Oh, no _ , he forgot it was my bathroom as well.” Hisoka retorted dramatically.

Killua turned, crossing his arms in a huff. Hisoka took his opportunity, sneaking over with only the top of his head poking out of the water. Then he ambushed the teen, grabbing onto his hips and pulling him back down into the water. Killua fell with an unceremonious cry and splash, before he turned and began to slap the man angrily, “You pervert! Don’t ever touch me! Fucking weirdo!”

Gon burst into laughter, which made Killua stop his assault for a few seconds. His face turned completely red, and he gave Hisoka one last hard slap before he climbed out of the tub, his dignity remaining behind him as he pulled towel out and quickly made his escape out of the room. Hisoka looked bemused, his eyes practically on fire, “Did you see that  _ Gon? _ How he fell on his ass.” The man snickered.

Gon giggled, covering his mouth with his hands to try and contain some of his laughter, “H-he looked like a cartoon.”

Hisoka stifled more laughter before he leaned back again, seeming quite pleased with himself.

Killua threw himself onto the bed, huffing and throwing a bit of a fit. He hated how embarrassing that was.  _ Just when I was finally making progress with Gon too _ , he cried to himself, frustrated about what had happened and his retreat. 

Eventually, the boy sighed and closed his eyes, body relaxing into the mattress. Maybe it was good they were interrupted. He couldn’t do much with Gon with how hurt he was. He could barely walk right, he could only imagine trying anything sexual. It would only add onto the negative experience the boy had already had just previously. He flopped over onto his back, eyes glued to the ceiling as he thought about this. Hours would pass without much thought, then when the sun returned to the sky Killua knew the time for thinking was over, and he stood to find some clothes. It was time to get ready for the journey.

Gon had gotten himself dressed in another one of the outfits that Hisoka had bought for him. This one was one of Gon’s favorites, as it was a black tank top with a bee on the chest of it, with yellow shorts with a flower pattern by the right front pocket, his stockings were black and yellow striped, and finally the outfit was topped off with a cute yellow jacket that had black trim and hood, a black heart on the back. He felt pretty confident wearing this one, and even spent a moment admiring it in the mirror before he turned to Hisoka, waving his arms as his long sleeves flopped a bit, “How do I look?”

Hisoka was putting on makeup at his vanity, something Gon had gotten used to seeing by this point. The man put down the powder he was using, giving a long look towards the boy before he resumed, “You look  _ delicious. _ ”

Gon blushed, shoving his hands into his pockets in an attempt to mimic Killua, “That sounds gross. I was looking for more of a, that looks cute, or something.”

“I didn’t say that you didn’t look cute.” Hisoka hummed playfully, “I just put in a word I thought fit more... _ perfectly _ .” He glanced again, then back to himself in the reflection, “ _ Although _ , you look like a banana, I’m not going to lie.”

Gon pouted, turning away in a huff as he left the room. He was immediately met by Illumi, who stood in the hallway peering into the guest room secretively. Gon tilted his head, opening his mouth to speak before Illumi gave him a stern look, which made him close his mouth again, and instead sneak by and peek in himself. Killua was in the middle of getting dressed, a pair of black skinny jeans the only thing hiding his modesty. Gon had a feeling that Illumi had been watching for awhile, so it was likely he had seen it all. Just that thought was enough to creep the boy out, so he quickly pulled away and into the living room. 

He sunk into the couch, laying on it with a grumble before he stared at the ceiling as he waited for the others to come in. Hisoka was the first in, his hair pulled up with gel like he normally would do it, and his makeup complete. He wore a very interesting outfit by Gon’s standards, as it was a crop top with a heart in the middle, with his usual looking undershirt, and white pants. He had not put on his shoes yet, which was uncommon but not unheard of,  _ he must be getting ready to cook _ , Gon concluded. 

Hisoka was doing just that, as he walked into the kitchen and began to prepare their last meal before they left. When Illumi came in, he was trailed by Killua who had obviously caught him peeking as he was still grimacing about it. Illumi walked directly into the kitchen to start the coffee. He wore his hair up in a bun, his outfit a green sleeveless sweater over a white button up shirt and black pants. Killua, on the other hand, wore his hair in a ponytail, which was something Gon had never seen him do. He had on a black turtleneck, with those black jeans Gon had seen him in previously. They did not look like a group who was about to go on a grand adventure, as Gon realized that they didn’t even look like a group who would travel together. He sat up slowly, eyebrows furrowed as he thought about this.

Killua sunk down next to the boy, not quite as observant over clothing, but rather eyeing his brother hatefully for being such a pervert. He was pretty mad about the bath the night before, and here comes Illumi just pissing him off more. He rolled his eyes before he looked down towards Gon. He noticed his concerned look immediately, so he asked, “What’s up?”

“We need to make team shirts or something.” Gon muttered almost under his breath. 

Killua smiled a bit, finding his seriousness funny, “Why do you say that?”

“We barely look like a group.” Gon whined, giving Killua big puppy dog eyes as he did, “How will people know we are a big badass group if we don’t look like one?”

Killua tried his best not to laugh, not wanting to upset the boy, “They can’t know silly, or else they might catch onto our mission.”

“What do you mean?” Gon leaned forward, intent on listening.

“Well we are going to restore your nen, I would imagine there would be people out there who also want to restore their power. So if we look like a badass group, then they might catch onto our plans, and steal our progress.” Killua was playing along, as a way to get Gon to drop the team shirt idea, as he really did not want to match the rest of the group. 

But while he explained these concepts to Gon, he couldn’t help but notice his outfit. Those socks would make any man do a double take, the way they hugged Gon’s thighs so tightly. He swallowed thickly, almost forgetting what he was saying for a moment. Only Gon’s excitement was able to bring him back from his thoughts, and stop his pants from tightening too much, “I get it now! Okay, secret mission mode activated!”

Killua looked the boy in the eyes, managing a soft smile. He loved how innocent Gon was, and how willing he was to listen to anything he said. Sure sometimes he would conveniently forget certain details of their plans, but for the most part he was a great listener. The boy turned his head towards the kitchen now, smiling wide, “Wow, Hisoka, what smells so good?”

“ _ Mmm, pancakes _ , from the recipie I stole from your  _ auntie, Gon _ .” Hisoka laughed.

Gon shot up to his feet, though the soreness of his backside kept him from moving too swiftly. Instead he half ran to the kitchen, looking at the food with great excitement. He had gotten over the idea of Hisoka being able to cook, as he truly wasn’t bad at it. He still did not like how the man had mostly refused to eat in front of others, but he did get him to eat a few things in everyone’s presence. 

Hisoka handed the boy a plate with a wink, “ _ Made with love. _ ”

Gon blushed darkly, sticking out his tongue at the man before he turned around and hurried to the table to start his meal. By this point Killua walked in, eyeing his brother with hate yet again before he sunk into his favorite seat next to Gon. The boy was eating quickly, a big change from how he was a week ago. It was good he was gaining a bit of weight again, but Killua still worried that he perhaps was putting up an act. He wondered if the sadness was truly gone, or if he was just pretending that it was. He preyed it was.

Illumi poured himself and Hisoka a cup of coffee, putting a lot of sugar into the other man’s cup before he took his own and began to drink it with small happy sips. The way he smiled after each sip almost made Killua forget who he was for a second, but the reality would soon flood back as he would not be tricked by his calming presence. 

Hisoka placed a plate in front of the teen, smirking at him, “ _ Eat up, so you can grow big and strong _ .”

“Fuck off.” Killua growled as he shoved pancakes into his mouth.

Illumi’s eyes narrowed at his brother, his voice stern, “Killu, language please.”

Killua rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself in between bites. Gon was amused by this, but managed to keep himself from laughing as he continued to shovel food into his mouth. By the time he was done, Hisoka was just getting his cup of coffee. The man put a hand on his hip, his other lifting the cup to his lips as he drank a big gulp. The burn pleasant to him. Illumi looked at him, voice monotone yet again, “Did I put enough sugar?”

“No,  _ not at all _ .” Hisoka laughed a bit, his finger going up to point at his lips, “ _ Come here, a kiss would certainly make it much sweeter _ .”

Illumi’s face reddened quite a lot, and quickly he drank the rest of his coffee and placed the cup into the sink before making his escape back to the guest room. Hisoka laughed to himself, as he loved making that man squirm like that. It was rare for it to be so effective, but when it landed it landed hard.  _ Just like me _ , Hisoka continued to laugh to himself.

Gon got himself to the sink now, feeling a bit strange about the way Hisoka had just spoke to Illumi. As he cleaned his dishes, and Illumi’s, he found his mind wondering out loud, “Hisoka, did you and Illumi ever date?”

Hisoka’s eyes widened in surprise before he smiled wide, “ _ Turns out he is extremely flexible _ .”

Gon did not quite understand, but Killua certainly did. His face turned pure red, his hands going over his own ears, “Ew, gross, don’t talk about him like that! You fucking pervert!”

Gon looked between them, confused by the situation. He shrugged and finished washing the dishes before he left to go find his shoes, as he did not want to hang around and be put into further confusion. 

Once he found his shoes he put them on happily, glad that their journey would begin. Today is the day.


	10. Voyage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finds a boat, adventure awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drank so much coffee, and here I am writing like a madman as it was meant to be. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I likely will not be able to upload tomorrow as I am going and having a girl's day with a few friends. I am going to a spooky museum and a Chinese food place, and I am very excited. Tell me what your favorite food is if ya want, and enjoy the chapter!

The day was not ideal for the beginning of an adventure. Excuses would be easily made as to why the journey should wait, but here they were heading to the docks so that they could hire a boat to the islands. Gon looked up at the sky, the scent of rain filling his head as occasional drips ran down his face. He wondered if it would stay light, though he doubted it as he looked amongst the twisting mass above them. He took in a deep breath, taking in the scent again, finding it worrying yet strangely relaxing. 

Killua had noticed Gon’s worry, and he found himself searching the clouds above for answers, though also willing them to hold off of their downpour for the few hours it would take to sail to make it to Syksy island. Once the group got to the boats, Hisoka was quick to strike up conversations with the few captains that had been on their boats, preparing for the storm most likely. Illumi, on the other hand, looked between the boys, his eyes dull and even darker thanks to the dimmed daylight, “Are you two ready?”

Gon smiled up at him, though there was an ever growing worry in his stomach, “Of course!”

Killua simply nodded, his hands shoved into his pockets as he glanced around the docks. When Hisoka returned, everyone looked at him with anticipation. He smiled to everyone, hands firmly on his hips as he proudly proclaimed, “I’ve managed to convince one of the captains to take us to the island. She says that it is dangerous, but I offered her plenty of money to make up for that.”

Killua almost felt inclined to ask how Hisoka could afford that, but then he remembered how he lived in Heaven’s arena, and just how much money the man was likely making per match. Immediately that question was silenced, and instead he asked another, “If it is dangerous, maybe we should wait for a calmer day?”

Hisoka smiled wide, eyes closing as he fell quite amused by Killua’s words, as though all of this was a big joke, “Now where is the  _ fun _ in that?”

Killua put a hand on Gon’s shoulder, motioning towards the smaller teen, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, “I don’t care about fun, what about Gon? If something happens he is the most vulnerable! I can’t tolerate ignorance you stupid clown!”

Hisoka’s eyes immediately lost their playfulness, his face twisting into a hateful grin, “I am not a clown, in case you forgot.”

Gon knew this could get bad, so he did what he thought would calm the situation by hurrying over to Hisoka’s side, his arms hugging around the man’s waist as he looked up at him with big eyes, “Which boat is it?”

Hisoka’s bloodlust almost entirely escaped his body, his face reddening and his smile becoming genuine yet again. He put a hand on Gon’s head, petting it gently as he spoke more sanely, “That one over there.” He pointed with his free hand.

Illumi’s eyes perked to the look of it, a frown forming on his face, “That is not a very safe looking boat.”

Killua was practically going crazy watching Gon hug the clown, and even crazier seeing the boat they would have to ride. He would have strangled the man if Gon was not in between them, but for now he would have to restrain his frustrations, and instead say, “What the hell, Gon is not going on that. I’ll get a splinter just looking at it.”

Before Hisoka could respond, a tall woman walked up from behind him, arms crossed over her chest as she huffed, “So much for wanting to take you anywhere, sounds to me you’d rather swim.”

Gon looked passed Hisoka, his arms still firmly wrapped around him as he looked up at the tall woman. He spoke carefully as he did not want to piss her off even more, “I like the boat, it looks like it has been everywhere.”

She looked down at the boy, barely noticing him before now. Her eyes softened a bit, as Gon’s more childlike appearance helped his charisma in this situation, “It sure has, thank you for noticing. Now…” She returned her attention to Killua, who she was much less soft towards, “if you want a ride, get your ass on my boat now, or swim. I don’t give a shit.”

When she turned and headed towards the boat, Gon was the first to follow, hands going up behind his head with a more carefree stance. Killua took a short pause before he followed, then the men walked behind him. Once everyone was onboard, the woman made everyone help her set up the boat to sail, as her crew, which usually consisted of herself and a few other people, were at home because of the storm. Luckily it did not take long, as soon they were on the slightly choppy waters. 

Gon stood against the railing, watching the water, he loved sailing after all. He could be lulled to sleep by the sound of the water as it hit against the boat. It reminded him of home, giving him a strong feeling of nostalgia that made his heart swell.

Killua found himself sat in a comfortable place, one where he could not only see Gon, but one shielded from the rain as it grew heavier with each passing hour. Illumi and Hisoka went below deck, looking to get away from the weather and the woman. She stood where she could keep an eye on things, and steer the boat if needed. Her eyes were focused, but she couldn’t help but look towards Gon, obviously thinking when she did so. 

Killua wondered what she could be looking at. She was in now way threatening, maybe a bit hot blooded, but she was not dangerous. She did not even show any signs of having nen abilities, so it wasn’t like she could do anything if she wanted to. Still, that look she gave Gon made the hair on Killa’s neck stand on end. He felt something was up.

The woman eventually spoke up over the waves, her eyes now completely on Gon, “Hey kid, come up here please!”

Gon looked up from the railing, smiling as he made his way to the woman. He slightly marveled how her long violet colored hair flowed in the wind. She looked like a purple cloud to the boy who now stood before her. She smiled down at him, trying to sound as sweet as she could, “What’s your name sweetie?”

“Gon, ma’am, Gon Freecss.” He told her honestly, “What’s yours?”

She liked his name, finding it fitting, “What an adorable name, my name is Myra.”

“Myra?” Gon asked, “Where are you from?”

Myra leaned over her controls, her peach colored eyes looking over the horizon, “I’m from Syksy island funnily enough, I was just visiting Yorknew so some of my people could go see their families.”

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Gon exclaimed excitedly, “Are there really ghosts on the island?”

She looked at him with a surprised expression before she smiled a little, “Y-yeah, actually. I believe in the spirits of the great library.”

“Have you seen one?” Gon couldn’t help but ask, his curiosity only growing.

She took a moment to answer before she stood up straight again, hand on her hip, “I think I have, now, why do you want to go to the island so bad? You guys seem pretty desperate based on what that clown guy was saying.”

Gon could only dread about what Hisoka had told her, but he tried to remain confident about his words, “Well, we want to visit the library. It may have information in it that we need.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, thinking hard about her next sentence, “I don’t think that’s the best idea. You’re pretty young, and small, and I don’t even think you could walk through the winds of the mountain without falling right back down. What makes you think you could possibly make it all the way to the top?”

Gon smiled wide, not dissuaded in the least, “Because I have my friends with me, and because I know we can do it.”

She gave him a softer look before she looked back towards the ocean again. She would not press anymore, inspired by his confidence. Though, something still bothered her, and she now lowered her voice, so that no one could hear her but Gon, “Are you okay with them? Are they taking good care of you?”

Killua had heard this question, his ears perking up to it. He did not move from his spot, trying to remain unphased until he knew how Gon felt. Then relief washed through his body as Gon smiled wider, his voice excited, “Killua is my best friend, and I will always shout that to the world. The other two are not the best people, but they care about us in their own ways, and I love them all. Do you love anyone miss Myra?”

Myra’s eyes drew closed for a moment, then she opened them again and looked down towards the boy. She spoke softly, her smile gone, “No, not yet.”

“Well I believe you’ll love someone real soon.” Gon practically sang to her, which made her smile return before she simply focused on the waters.

Killua was glad, no he was ecstatic that Gon’s outlook on life had returned to normal. There was not a hint of doubt in the things he had stated, and he was even beginning to see bigger and brighter imagines of the future. The white haired teen sunk back against the wall behind him, his smile bright as Gon returned to the main level of the ship. Swiftly he made a noise to get the boy’s attention, and when he turned towards him, Killua pat the space beside him as a way to call him over. Gon wasted no time to join him, sitting next to him with a peaceful expression. Killua never felt so glad to be going on a dangerous journey as he did today, his arm wrapping around his friend as he pulled him close. Gon relaxed against him, his voice low as he enjoyed the company, “Myra seems nice.”

“To you maybe.” Killua joked, knowing she was nicer to Gon because of his innocent nature, “She seems alright.” He admitted after a moment.

Gon looked up to his friend, eyes shining in the dim light, “She says she believes in ghosts.”

“Does she?” Killua had heard them talk, but he had trouble believing her word as he did not know her. 

Gon nodded, then he sunk into Killua’s lap looking up at the teen, “We can kick their butts.”

Killua laughed at the idea, relaxing even more where he sat, “Sure we can. They’ll be running for us.”

Gon laughed, hopeful and joyous as ever.  _ Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad trip after all _ , Killua concluded happily.

Illumi stood amongst the cargo of the ship, his eyes scanning the darkness around him. He knew Hisoka had his eyes on him, he could practically feel him touching all over his body with his gaze. The man eventually turned to him, his arms crossed as he glared at the clown, “What are you looking at.”

Hisoka walked up a bit closer, though not quite daring to be close enough to be grabbed too quickly, “ _ You _ , you seem happier.”

Illumi rolled his eyes, though he made no move to get away from the other man, “I might be. I don’t know.”

Hisoka smirked, eyes shining deviously, “You know, I expected this. You got a _ taste  _ of Killua, and now neither of you know what to do.  _ You want more, obviously _ , but you cannot make him do anything he doesn’t want to do at least a little bit.”

Illumi’s eyes narrowed even more, his aura becoming a bit more hostile than it once was, “What are you suggesting?”

“We both got a  _ taste _ of what we  _ craved _ . Neither of us got to go as far as we wanted. So I purpose we help one another, so we don’t do anything too  _ rash  _ for the time being.” Hisoka purred, licking his lips as his excitement became apparent. 

Illumi’s cheeks reddened, his eyes darting away from the man, “Not here.”

“No, not here.” Hisoka agreed, though part of him was filled with temptation, “But once we get to the library, we must relieve some of this frustration.” He took a dramatic pose, hand over his eyes as he spoke in a low growl, “ _ I feel my skin crawling, Illu… If we don’t fix me soon, I won’t be able to hold back. I don’t want to hurt him too badly, but I can’t help it. I get so stirred up. _ ”

Illumi knew exactly what the man meant. Ever since Killua had finally did the deed with him, his body squirmed every time he looked at him. He needed more, but he would not push it yet, as there were things they had to do. Yet, Illumi’s heart would not stop fluttering, and his face refused to hide his emotions recently, and he found himself holding his emotions in more willfully rather than naturally. He bit his lip for a moment, contemplating what Hisoka was suggesting before he spoke again, “If we do this, you cannot hold it over my head. Not this time.”

“ _ Mmm… _ I make no such promises.” Hisoka hummed, stepping closer, and grabbing Illumi’s chin between his fingers as he brought their faces closer together, “ _ In fact, it’ll only get worse from here, love _ .”

Illumi would have pulled away, but the kiss became welcome. He melted into it, eyes slipping closed as Hisoka lightly rubbed his hip. This was in no way anywhere near Killua’s more intense affection, but it was welcome. However, Hisoka of course took it a step in the wrong direction, his inability to consider others having him lick Illumi’s lips before the man quickly pulled away from the magician in disgust. He cleaned off his mouth with his sleeve, glaring daggers into the clown, “I should stab you for that.”

“ _ But you won’t _ ” Hisoka teased, then licked his own lips, taking in the flavor Illumi had left behind.

Illumi kept his arm over his own mouth as he glared at the clown. He then turned and walked to the nearest corner, regretting ever knowing this man for the longest moment. He hated how he made him feel, and he hated how much he depended on him.

He closed his eyes tight, fabric of his shirt welcome against his lips as he thought. They would reach the island soon, and already he wanted to go home and just wait for Killua again. But he knew he could never go back to that life. He could never go back to his father the way he was acting. No, that would be a suicide note written on his face. He refused to show this to anyone but Killua.

Hisoka sat next to the other man, eyes glued onto him as he spoke, “This is a strange game we’re playing.”

Illumi sighed, “Is it a game?”

Both sat in silence for a long time, then Hisoka finally spoke up once more, “If we can’t find a cure, I want you to take Killua away from _ my Gon. _ ”

“You made a deal with him.” Illumi pointed out.

Hisoka pulled out his cards, beginning to flip through them, “Deals mean very little to me, you know that.  _ Gon _ , on the other hand, means a great bit.”

Illumi thought about it for a moment before he spoke again, “I will consider it. But I make no promises.”

“Fine by me.” Hisoka laughed, eyes on the joker card,  _ “I like surprises _ .”


	11. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finally find what they are looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very plot heavy chapter, so it is long as fuck. Anyway, enjoy it and share your thoughts on it as per usual. I have a message at the end of this for some of you to tell me your thoughts on!

The island sat on the horizon, the rain spiraling above it, looking like daggers that threatened to cut the mountain in half. Gon’s eyes followed it as high as he could see, but it wasn’t long before the top was covered by clouds, which swallowed most of the upwards elevations of the island. The ground itself did not seem to be wet, as though the rain would refuse to touch it, like it was some sort of hungry beast. Gon did not like the feeling he got from looking at this island, but something inside him told him that the island was important, as though it held a key in helping him flow with nen once more. 

The small boy felt hands on his shoulders, and only then did he realize just how tense he had become. He wondered how long he had been standing like that, but knew it did not ultimately matter. Instead of lingering on it, he looked up, smiling at his best friend, “It’s not exactly what I expected.”

“I see what you mean.” Killua nodded, his grip on Gon’s shoulders becoming more firm, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yeah. I want to get my nen back, ya know?” Gon said honestly, “Besides, what kinda hunter am I without it? I’m barely Gon without it.”

Killua hated hearing that, as it made him think of the alternative, think of the impossible. What if this was all a lie, and what if they found nothing, these questions made Killua’s heart stop. He could not bare the thought of watching Gon live through that, losing hope again. He sighed, trying to steady his nerves. No matter what, he would be there for his best friend. He would support everything he set out to do, and he would do everything in his power to make his friend succeed. Though now, as a pit grew in his stomach, he spoke lowly, trying to make a promise, “Hey, Gon?”

“What?” Gon continued to look up at the taller teen, eyes wide.

“If this doesn’t work out, I want you to do something for me, okay?” Killua smiled weakly, hating the idea of putting doubt into Gon’s mind, but he knew it was necessary. 

“What is it?” Gon wondered out loud, hurt beginning to form in his eyes.

“If this doesn’t work out, I want you to come with me, okay? I’m going to take you somewhere fun, and safe.” Killua told him, eyes stern, “Okay?”

“Okay, that sounds nice.” Gon’s eyes returned to the island as he spoke, his voice a bit numb. 

Killua had hoped that he did not hurt Gon too much with his pessimistic words, though he knew that they had to be said out loud just in case. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the rain, then let go of the smaller boy, leaving him to watch as the boat neared the land. Myra was preparing to anchor, as there seemed to be no real docks in place. Something that Killua found to be rather suspicious, as he had assumed some people still inhabited the island. He wondered why they would not have something as normal as a port. 

Gon was less concerned about that, and instead got an eyeful of the strangely sunny grass and leaves of the island. Instead of raining water, it did indeed seem to rain endless leaves upon the ground. His eyes widened at the unusual sight, as he had never seen anything like this. He turned a bit, watching Myra put away certain things on the boat. It was not moving anymore, so he assumed that this was where they were stopping, although they were not the closest to the shore. He wondered why that was, and even asked, “Why are we so far from the beach miss Myra?”

Myra put a hand on her hip, her eyes glaring at the island, “If we get any closer with the boat, the island with swallow it beneath it. So instead we are going to take a smaller boat that I have tied to the side.”

“Will that be safe?” Killua asked.

Myra rolled her eyes, “I’ve done it a million times, don’t be a brat.”

Killua crossed his arms, not knowing what he did to get on her bad side so easily. Sure he had said some mean things about her boat, but it really was just an accident waiting to happen. Of course, he did not say this out loud, not wishing to force more of her wrath upon him. Myra then looked around a bit, her eyes becoming more strained, “Where are the other two? Snowball, go below and find them.”

“You can’t boss me around!” Killua threw up his arms in frustration.

Myra crossed her own, her voice a low growl, “You’ll do as I say, or else I will turn this fucking ship around and go back to Yorknew. I’ll leave your ass here.”

Killua felt slightly intimidated by her posture, so he quickly started for the stairs to look for his brother and the clown. Once he was at the bottom, he had to blink a few times, as it was dark. Once he could see, he realized that Illumi was laying in the corner, head propped up onto Hisoka’s lap, eyes closed.  _ What the hell _ , Killua’s face turned pure red, “What the fuck are you two doing?”

Hisoka looked up, looking as though nothing was wrong. Illumi, however, shot up, obviously just being awoken by his brother’s sudden screaming. He looked around quickly, seeing if there was any urgency before his face grew more relaxed and he gazed at his brother, “Oh, Killu, are we there already?”

“Why were you touching him?” Killua asked blatantly, before he shook his head quickly, “Wait, nevermind, don’t tell me. Get your asses up, we’re here, and Myra is out for blood.”

Hisoka laughed softly, standing from his spot on the floor, “Does that mean we can dump her into the ocean?”

“I wouldn’t if I were you. Gon really likes her for some reason.” Killua muttered, though he wished they could.

Hisoka frowned a bit, seeming displeased, “What a shame. _ I was getting excited _ .” 

Illumi slowly stood, dusting off his pants a bit before he began past Killua and to the stairs, “We shouldn’t fight if it is not necessary. We need to save our power, just in case this island is as hostile as the books had said.”

“Wait, hold on, dangerous? I thought you said Gon would be safe.” Killua grabbed his brother’s arm, his eyes stern.

“He will be, as long as we stay on our toes.” Illumi looked at Killua, the air growing heavy momentarily before he was released and allowed to go upstairs. 

Both Killua and Hisoka followed suit, trying their best not to accidentally bump into each other on the way up. Once on the deck, everyone was brought to a small ship that barely hung onto the side with fraying rope. It was obvious that Myra was not the richest person, or else her stuff might be in more usable condition. This thought actually made Killua feel a bit bad about calling her boat such terrible things, except he wasn’t that concerned with the character development needed to admit he was wrong, and instead he would try and refrain from dissing her boat in the future.

One by one, everyone got on, and once seated Myra looked around, “Okay, so hold onto the sides, if you fall out we are leaving you.”

Then she released the boat, and it fell hard into the water. Gon had the most trouble holding onto it, and only remained seated because of Hisoka, who had one firm hand on his shoulder, holding him still. Gon smiled back at him, “Thanks, I don’t think I would have stayed on!”

“You don’t need to thank me,  _ apple. Just repay me later. _ ” Hisoka winked at the boy, which made him redden like the fruit he had been nicknamed after. 

Killua crossed his arms, looking up at Myra who was readjusting their angle a bit, “Are you staying on the island with us?”

“Yeah, might as well see how the library is doing.” Myra told him, though she did not seem happy about her own words.

Killua wondered what kind of history she had here. She had mentioned that she had lived here, but he did not see anyone on the island. So he spoke up again, “Where did you live exactly?”

“I don’t think that’s too important.” She dismissed him quickly, sitting down and letting the boat move forward with its small, barely functional motor. 

The teen did not want to drop the subject so soon, but he was forced to as they go too close to the shore to be distracted. Once they got close enough, Myra jumped into action, standing quickly, rope of the boat in hand as she jumped across the beach as tugged the rest of the passengers up onto the white sand. Once secure, she quickly went to turn off the motor, as she really did not want it to run out of gas during the visit. Though a part of her felt the boat would not be there when they got back, she would still have some fuel if it did remain in place. 

Illumi got up first, his feet hitting the sand and sinking a bit, which made him cringe. He did not like the sensation of sand on his skin, but here he was, touching it with his ankles. He shivered a bit, then quickly made his way towards the grass without a word. Hisoka followed suit, although he was not at all bothered by the sand. Gon took his time to get out, and so did Killua. They smiled at each other, the smaller of the two speaking up, “It is so pretty here! I can’t believe it isn’t raining!”

Killua nodded, looking at the ocean as he spoke, “It is pretty cool. I wonder why it does that.”

Myra then spoke up, “Some say the spirits hate the rain.”

Gon’s face grew surprised, “Wow, really?”

She nodded, then smiled at the boy, “Yep, so they feed the plants with their tears so that it will never rain on the island. They do, however, enjoy the cold of snow, which is why they let the mountain snow. It is like a blanket to them, so they may rest more soundly when going to meet the gods.”

Killua didn’t believe a word of this, though he let her continue. He knew better than to question someone’s core beliefs like that, as it would often upset them. He would much rather just get this over with. With that thought in mind, the teen began towards the men, and Gon would follow suit. All five would end up in the forest, where leaves rained down frequently like it was autumn.

Gon soon smiled and ran around, waving his arms wildly. He looked at the group excitedly, "I'm gonna catch one!" Then just as the words left his mouth, a few leaves fell onto his head, making him stop and laugh, "Well I guess I got caught instead."

Killua couldn't help but stare, his heart racing, _ so cute _ . Hisoka, on the other hand, looked like he had just had a heart attack, the way he dramatically clutched onto his chest and muttered, “ _ I think he just made my knees weak _ .”

Illumi rolled his eyes, not really seeing what the two others had seen. He had no intentions of ever finding Gon cute. If anything, he was a problem, or even a rival for his brother’s affections.  _ He would have been dead if Hisoka wasn’t so insistent on keeping him as a pet _ , Illumi told himself, although he had no proof of anything like that. If he wasn’t on Hisoka’s radar, then would he even be on Killua’s, that was one thing that Illumi was uncertain of. Both boys shared a lot of common attractions, although Hisoka’s was much more bold and passionate. Illumi blushed to that thought, trying to push it immediately from his mind.

Gon came back to everyone, holding up one of the leaves that had fallen on him, “It feels so fresh, and kinda warm!”

Killua tilted his head, trying to think straight, “Warm?”

Myra jumped in to give a simple explanation, “They are warm because of the love the spirits pour into each and everyone. They are all dreams that the spirits had when they were alive, after all.”

“ _ I once had a dream that I was a bowl of ice cream _ .” Hisoka said, although it was unclear if he had heard anything she had said prior to his statement. 

Myra stared at him in bewilderment, then looked back down to Gon, “So, when their dreams hit the ground, they are released from the worry of it. They no longer feel bad about not accomplishing their dreams. They feel peace.”

Gon nodded, understanding what she was getting at. He dropped the leaf he held, and once it hit the ground, like every other leaf, it was gone, eaten by the soil beneath their feet. It was such a strange thing to see, but Gon felt better letting that dream go. He hated the idea of a ghost suffering because of him. He hoped whoever had a dream in that particular leave would be able to rest in the snow, like Myra had said. He smiled at the thought, then turned to head towards the mountain once more. 

The climb became steep really quickly, the island not being too big, and mainly consisting of the mountain. Myra, who knew the way, lead everyone as safely as she could, although she regretted bringing them there on multiple occasions. Gon was even almost blown over in a few instances, as the winds became stronger the higher they rose up the mountainside. Then, just as they reached a midpoint was when the sun felt like it had gone, and everything became colder around them. Hisoka even noticed that they were being watched. He could feel nen all around them, and he began to look with nen in his eyes to see if he could find the source. That was when he saw them, millions of them, ghost like figures gathered around them. They wept in pain, their forms barely there. The clown put a hand on Gon’s shoulder, feeling that he had to protect him now, “They are everywhere.”

Gon looked back curiously, not understanding what he had said, “What do you mean? Who do you see?”

Killua then stiffened, activating his nen as well. Millions of them, all surrounding them. Killua could feel his skin crawl, not expecting such a sight, “What the hell are they?”

That was when Myra finally spoke up, her eyes not leaving the path as she continued onward, “They are the spirits. Do not look at them for too long, it will only make it worse.”

Killua swallowed thickly, and nodded, following behind the woman while making sure that Gon was by his side. He did not trust any of this, and by how concerned Hisoka was acting, he knew that this could end terribly. They still pressed on, and before they knew it, a large castle stood before them, trees around it shining brightly as though they were lanterns to guide them.

Gon looked at them with amazement, realizing that the glow was coming from human skulls that hung on the trees by long white hair. It was a morbidly beautiful sight, one that he found himself appreciating. When he looked up to Myra to ask about them, he found the woman standing stiffly, eyes glued to the gigantic door of the place. He knew he should not bother her now, that look being one he was all too familiar with. She was struggling, like he had at home. She was contemplating leaving, and he knew that something was making this so difficult for her. She was using them as an excuse to face this thing that had held her back from coming home, and now she was confronted with the end. The finality of it always being a big leap that Gon knew would be a hurdle to get over. He waited for her, and even silenced Killua when he went to ask what was going on. 

Then Myra took in a deep breath, her eyes narrowing as she stepped forward in the snow. No one had walked there in a long time, and her feet sunk down deeply with each step. Finally she reached the door, a shaky hand on its wooden surface before she grabbed an iron knocker, and slammed it down four times. 

Then the skulls shone much brighter, and a voice eventually reached through the wooden barrier, “Myra? Is that actually you?”

“Yes, can you let us in? I’m freezing my ass off.” Myra said flatly, arms crossing over her chest.

The voice remained quiet for a minute, then when Gon opened his mouth to speak, a loud creaking interrupted him, and the door slowly slid open, a small teenage girl peeking out. She spoke in a soft tone, her peach colored eyes dreadful, “Come in, please.”

Then everyone went inside, saved from the cold and from the spirits that lingered beyond the trees. Inside were bookcases up to the ceilings, each housing millions of books. Gon’s eyes widened as he tried to see it all, his voice exclaiming in excitement, “Look at all of these books!”

The small teen girl smiled at him shy, then returned her attention to Myra, “Why have you returned?”

Myra shrugged, arms still crossed, “Just wanted to check on my bratty sister I guess.”

The girl’s eyes narrowed to the comment, but she did not play along with this, “I sense that your friends aren’t here for our reunion. What do they want?”

Killua spoke up, stepping closer to the girl, “We need to know if restoring nen is possible. Can you help us?”

The girl looked him up and down, then looked at Gon, “Is it for him?”

Gon nodded, smiling weakly, “Yeah, I lost my nen a while back. I would like to regain it.”

She seemed to consider this, her eyes scanning the rest of the group before returning to Killua, “You may search for a book. There is one here that should help. I will warn there is a small sacrifice for the information. Each book here demands things. They enjoy gossip.”

Gon looked excited, “Okay! Thank you so much!”

She then narrowed her eyes once more, “Please return everything to where you found it. If I have to I will hunt you down and make you keep a not so nice book. Do you understand?”

Everyone nodded, not wanting to make her angry either. She had that in common with her sister it seemed. Then everyone set off, to look for a book that would answer their problem. Illumi and Hisoka left in the same direction, while Gon and Killua went their own way. The library was a maze of books of every genre. One that the teens had easily gotten lost in.

Illumi could barely believe that this book that Hisoka had been telling him about even existed. He felt he was wasting his time as he scanned title after title on each shelf. The blue flame that lit up the library not being too much help as he searched. Then suddenly a book moved a bit, catching his eye.

The book was large, dusty, and bound by what Illumi suspected to be human flesh. When he touched it, he felt it twitch away, and his keen ears picked up on a faint heartbeat. The book was alive, and inside it’s thoughts moved across the page, like whispers to itself. It was difficult to decipher anything inside, but he knew this was the right book. Instead of powering through it, like he normally would do, he leaned down and whispered gently to it, like he would a child, “What do you seek? What do you need to give me answers?”

The book stiffened a bit, listening to the man. Then it relaxed as the page became blank. Then slowly the words, “Tell me your secret.” was written across the page. 

Illumi’s lips straightened, his mind blank. He knew which secret it wanted, but he did not know if he was prepared to have it logged forever in this tomb. His lips moved, though it took a moment for his words to be found, “Alright, listen to me. My secret is that I am afraid, and I will do anything to please my brother. I will endure anything to see him smile. I will die for him. But… I would have to say I also love one other man, though it may be a lie. I am not sure.” he leaned in and said the next words so quietly that Hisoka could not hear him. 

The book groaned lightly, the pages absorbing the words that were once nested there. Then new words surfaced, telling Illumi what the book knew. These words were not ones his brother would ever want to read, nor hear. It simply said, “You must bring the empty nen vessel to the Tree of Worlds, at the edge of reality. There the vessel will die, heart stopped, and there they may be reborn with the aid of the Reaper. If the vessel fails, so will their connection to life, and their ties to earth will be severed forever. Death brings power.”

Illumi’s eyes scanned the words over and over again. Then slowly he looked up to Hisoka, who waited patiently for the answer. When their eyes met, Illumi had to tell him the truth, “The book says that Gon must go to the Tree of Worlds, and there he must die.”

Hisoka’s eyes widened, and quickly he snatched the book from the other man’s arms. The book let out a hissing noise, the text on the page being erased before Hisoka could read it, but he knew it had to be true. He slammed the book down, fingernails digging at it’s frail skin as he screamed, frustration taking away a bit of the humanity he kept together all of this time. Illumi could do nothing but watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I saved this for the end because it is unrelated to the story, but related to the fandom. There was a part of me who wanted to write a should alternative universe of Hisoka being the Grim Reaper, and Gon being a boy he has to kill, but instead he has Gon pay for his life by being his mistress, tell me what you thinkkkk. ha ha...


	12. Torn Pages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Illumi deal with their problems, while Killua gives Gon a pep talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I've been ill for the past few days, so I'm sorry for being slow on this chapter! I'm surprised no one commented on my author notes on the last chapter that I had at the end of it. It is probably fine though, haha. Anyway, thank you to proud_red_cacti, who left a lot of encouraging comments! The Grim reaper idea is simply just my own idea I had, where you take characters from one show or universe and add it into my own while staying mostly in character. Either way, its not the most important idea, so no need to get all blah about it. ChuntaoCreations should be super hyped during this chapter, as this one is pretty saucy for them! Enjoy!

Torn pages flew through the air, like the leaves that fell all around the mountain. Painful noises left the book, _ rip, rip _ , page after page being torn from its spine. Hisoka’s face remained painfully hardened, his fingernails unforgiving as they easily ripped another page out.  _ Rip, rip _ , his eyes were knives, stabbing into the book like his fingernails did, “Give us another solution.” He muttered,  _ rip, rip _ . 

The book groaned in pain, barely able to reconstruct and replace the pages that were torn from it. Ink dripped from it, the blood of the tomb. It writhed, dying more as each page was ripped.  _ Rip, rip, rip _ , Illumi couldn’t help but cringe as he listened to the torture. He turned away, arms crossing over his thin form, “Maybe we should go? If you feel so bad about this, I suggest that you consider giving up.”

“I am not going to give this up…” Hisoka muttered, _ rip, rip _ , “I _ am _ going to fix Gon.”

“You obviously don’t like this solution.” Illumi again pointed out, “Why do you want the boy to have his powers back anyway? It’ll only make it easier for him to overpower you, and eventually escape.”

Hisoka smirked and his hands ceased their motions, his eyes rolling back at the thought, “ _ Mmm...yes, isn’t that exciting? _ ”

Illumi grimaced, turning back to look at the clown, “You never make sense to me. You want complete control over him, yet you want to give him the power to fight back. I don’t understand.”

Illumi could tell how turned on the man had gotten to the thought, the book was entirely forgotten about as the fantasies took over the man’s brain, his own body trembling in need, “ _ Imagine it, Illu. He’ll fight me, like he used to. Then we will make such a beautiful power couple. Like we were meant to be _ .”

Illumi opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He tucked a stray hair behind his ear as he watched Hisoka put the book onto the little table that stood next to them. It relaxed, though ink still oozed from its wounds. Illumi still felt a bit bad for the book, who had only done its purpose, then it was punished for it. He sighed, then returned his eyes to Hisoka, who was standing in his comfort zone. He hated the trespassing, putting up his hands to push the man away, “Don’t look at me like that. I am not doing this now.”

Hisoka licked his lips, stepping even closer despite Illumi’s protests. Soon the man was pushed into a bookcase, their bodies pressed together. Illumi grumbled, eyes full of hatred, “Stop it.” He hissed.

“ _ You’ve gotten me all stirred up again, and I don’t think you want me to take it out on my little Gon, now do you? _ ” Hisoka purred, pressing his erection into Illumi’s leg.

The black haired man glared at the clown, his brain immediately comparing him to a dog that can’t take no for an answer. Sure he had agreed to relieve him at some point during this trip, as he knew the boat woman would not like how rough Hisoka was with Gon, and he knew that Hisoka would not care about privacy. He looked down the aisle ways, making sure no one was approaching, then back towards the man, “If we do this now, you must promise to behave. I can’t have a wild dog running around and doing unspeakable things in front of our traveling companions. Do you understand?”

Hisoka licked up Illumi’s cheek, his breath hot against his ear, “ _ I will try not to be all Hisoka around them _ , that’s what  _ Gon  _ calls it.”

Illumi grumbled, knowing exactly why the boy called it that. He again made sure no one was coming, then began to slowly slip off his clothes for the other man. He wanted to make this quick, though it was always a surpise how Hisoka would act during sex. He had a brief flashback to their first time, as it was a prime example. He remembered that they were at home, when Killua was off visiting Gon, and most of the Zoldyck family were out on missions. Hisoka was only allowed over on those days, as he would not harass everyone. Although, he still tried to make an ass of himself whenever Illumi’s father or mother was around. He remembered one time he tried to fake a proposal to Illumi, with what turned out to be a condom. Which was likely the only time the man had ever bought a condom in his life, and it was for a joke of all things. Illumi remembered his mother crying, as she wanted Illumi to marry someone at that time, but of course Illumi eventually refused to marry that person also. Illumi did not wish to be married after all, as he only had one person living in his heart. 

Well, once it was discovered what the clown was trying to propose with, Illumi’s father almost kicked Hisoka’s ass. Illumi of course intervened, telling his father it was all a joke, and somewhat calming the situation. Hisoka was not allowed over when they were home after that. Regardless, when Hisoka was over, he would act even more evasive. He would always find ways to touch Illumi, or to lick him. The man hated it, although part of him found it exciting at times. He again thought about their first time. The house was empty, and Hisoka was helping Illumi clean out his father’s study room, getting rid of some of the more unimportant trophies he had kept over the years. Hisoka had insisted on keeping some things for his own home, which Illumi let him as it was easier than throwing away said items. Then, Hisoka was slowly getting closer to Illumi as they were looking through some old boxes. His face was curled into a devious smile, “Is this you?” He asked.

Illumi had looked up, then his face reddened a bit. It was a picture of him when he was younger, probably twelve years old. It was one of the years he had been forced to cut his hair off, so it was short, which made his eyes hide beneath the mess of hair on top of his head. He hated that picture, and now it was long destroyed. Although, at the time he almost wanted to deny that it was him, “Yes, sadly.”

“You  _ do _ look sad.” Hisoka had said, looking closer at the picture, “I’m glad you don’t cut your hair anymore. Short isn’t your style.”

“Wasn’t my choice.” Illumi shrugged, he had tried to return to the task, but suddenly Hisoka was leaning against him, making him freeze in place.

The clown stared at the picture, then looked up at Illumi once more, “Do you need to talk about it?”

“No.” Illumi tried to hold himself more steadfast, concealing his feelings although tears did threaten his eyes. 

Hisoka slowly sat up, scooting himself closer, arms wrapping around Illumi’s shoulders to hold him in place, “Sure you don’t. You never talk about yourself.”

“I don’t feel a need to share everything with you.” Illumi muttered, though he was not resisting as much as had wanted.

He was crying, he knew it now. Back then he did not know why the clown was looking at him like that. He did not understand why their lips touching felt so nice back then. He did not know why he let him have his virginity, right there in his father’s study.

Now here they were, clothes already tugged up and down, but not fully removed, Illumi’s form sat up on the table next to the book. Hisoka’s fingers dug at the flesh of his hips, his lips on his porcelain neck. Low mews left the dark haired man, his hands gripping at Hisoka’s hair and shoulder as he thrusted hard into him. With every movement Illumi became lost, his body needed a more rough approach. He arched his body, eyes closing tightly, “H-Hisoka…”

Hisoka smirked against his flesh, digging his teeth into it a bit, nibbling up and down rather roughly. Illumi could barely hold back his moan, his stomach becoming hot as lava. 

Hisoka stopped biting for a moment, bringing his lips up to Illumi’s before kissing him deeply, his cock thrusting in especially hard as he had. He muffled his noises, enjoying how they vibrated his mouth. 

Then when their lips parted, Hisoka admired Illumi’s face, the other man’s eyes still closed as a soft pink spread across his cheeks. Hisoka loved seeing him like this, it excited him to bring someone as proud as Illumi down to more of an animalistic level. He licked his lips, his hips only going harder, as hard as he wished he could with Gon. 

Illumi looked up at the clown, his eyes hungry, his hair draped over him messily. He leaned back on his elbows, his voice low, “Make me not regret this, Hisoka…”

The way his voice growled, and his eyes stabbed into Hisoka only made the man thrust harder, his own body towering over the slim man. He found his fingers tangling in his long black hair, tugging at it as he moved. He could feel his climax approaching, but he would hold it back until Illumi finished, as that was what he obviously wanted. He freed one of his hands, bringing it own and grabbing onto the other man’s cock, which made him whimper and arch his back a bit. Hisoka smirked, stroking him and pulling his hair with his other hand. Illumi by this point was less coherent, only whimpers and moans leaving him before his eyes shot open, then closed tight, his body tightening around the man as he reached his end.

As cum covered both of their stomachs, Hisoka pulled himself out, and stroked himself a few times before adding to the mess and finishing onto the other man’s stomach. Illumi laid back against the table, panting as he looked down at the mess. He was spent, and too tired to complain, so instead he simply said, “You’re cleaning this up.”

“ _ With pleasure _ .” Hisoka purred, going down and licking the other man’s stomach, which would cause plenty of protest.

Gon sat on the floor, looking through various books, but he found that most of them were either empty or only said a few words. Killua, who stood nearby, had long given up, finding this whole thing a waste of time, “Hisoka is such an idiot, thinking we can just find the answer here. He really doesn’t know what he’s talking about, ever.”

Gon pouted, flipping through his book, “I think it was an okay plan. Better than nothing, at least. Though I don’t think he knew just how many books there would be.”

Killua walked towards Gon, sinking onto his knees to be more on his level, “Have you found anything?”

“Uh, not really.” Gon replied honestly, looking disappointed, “Most of these are empty journals, or just random stuff. Nothing on nen so far.”

Killua thought about it for a moment, then he smiled, “Ya know, we haven’t been alone like this in awhile, maybe we should just hang out? Leave the work to that dumb ass.”

Gon frowned deeply, eyes going back to the book, “B-but I need to keep looking.”

Killua rolled his eyes, taking the book playfully from the boy, and throwing it back onto the floor, “Or, you can hang out with me.”

Gon squeaked, reaching for the discarded book, “Wait! Killua!”

Killua put a finger on his forehead, keeping him in place as he teased, “We don’t need to wait, if you keep trying to read everything you’re going to be an old man before you know it.”

Gon crossed his arms over his chest in protest, eyebrows furrowed, “Fine, whatever.”

Killua beamed, glad that he was able to convince the boy to take a break. So he sat next to him, bringing his knees up to his chest, “Thank you. Now, talk to me. You haven’t told me too much about how you’ve been lately.”

“Well…” Gon had to consider this for a moment, then he spoke up, “I like having something to look forward to. I was so scared that I would be useless forever.”

“You’ve never been useless.” Killua said defensively.

“What can I do? I don’t have nen, my father doesn’t want me, and I think I stopped growing.” Gon pointed out, his eyes growing more and more empty as he remembered his circumstances.

“You can be amazing, just like you were before you got nen. You never needed your father, you simply wanted to meet him. You have, and now you’re free to find other goals. It doesn’t matter if you’re short, Biscuit was small, remember?” Killua pulled his hands into fists, his eyes full of enthusiasm.

Gon stayed quiet for awhile, his eyes slowly beginning to regain some of that hope. He looked up at Killua, small smile forming as he sat up on his knees, pulling himself closer to Killua as he pressed their lips together into a surprise kiss. Killua’s eyes widened, and once their lips parted, he was speechless. Gon gazed into his eyes, his face sweet, “Thank you Killua, for being the best person I could have possibly met.”

“G-Gon, I-” Killua tried to find words, but he couldn’t, and instead he pressed their lips together once more.

Sometimes he liked being right.


	13. Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Killua look for their traveling companions, and find out something Killua wishes they could unhear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful readers, I am feeling a bit better today, so I might even get two chapters out, stay posted! This one is sad because I was a bit sad writing it, but no worries I feel better now! Anyway, enjoy and I will throw out some thank yous as well as an author fact for you all!  
> Thank you to Atom1050, I hope you heal fast, and feel better soon. I never broke a bone before so I cannot relate to it as much, but I really do hope you can be out and about soon! I wish I could help you find other fan fics to enjoy, but sadly I don't know other writers or many other works. I will sprinkle a lot of Gon fluff in the next chapter just for you!  
> Now, thank you to Rimy morrow, your comment made me smile!
> 
> Finally, here is your author fact for the evening, or whatever time idk! I have never finished the HunterxHunter anime, I primarily have watched the newer one, and I cannot read the manga thanks to my dyslexia. I literally guess a lot of time based on things I read, or research, which is why I say none of my content should be judged based on cannon, as some of the cannon I do not know. I just watched the part where Gon and Killua are going to kill the ant king, andddd I have been too lazy to finish it ha ha. Don't be too mad ha ha.

Books scattered everywhere, the smell of wood filled their noses as they absently flipped through a few pages. Killua felt content as he flipped another page, the warmth of Gon’s head in his lap making him feel happier than he had ever thought possible. Gon yawned softly, closing his eyes and resting the book against his chest, “I’m tired of looking.”

“Want to take another break?” Killua asked, looking down from the blank paper he had been staring at.

“Yeah, maybe we should check on Hisoka and your brother?” Gon asked, eyes opening again, “We should probably find something to eat too. I’m starving.”

Killua shrugged, then put some of the books around him away, then put away the one Gon had been looking through. After they cleaned up, they both stood and began towards the center of the library once again. Myra and her sister were sitting together at the front desk of the building, Myra drinking what smelled like tea. Gon smiled at her, hurrying over, “I forgot how boring books were, so we’re taking a break!”

Myra smiled at him, laughing a bit, “Oh, really? Well, we have some stew on, so you should hang around and eat some.”

Gon looked excited by the idea, “Yum, okay, but first we’re gonna get Hisoka and Illumi, they need to eat too.”

Killua finally caught up, looking around, “Any idea which way they went?”

Myra’s sister spoke up, looking highly displeased, “The books are very angry towards that direction.” she pointed in a western maze of shelves, “So, when you find them, beat their asses please.”

Killua smiled a little, though it was strained.  _ What the hell did they do this time _ , he wondered. They both set out to find them after apologizing quickly for whatever they had done. The girl did not seem to care for their words, though she did not seem too interested in finding them herself, and would likely give them an earful when they returned. So, Killua and Gon set off to find them.

Gon grabbed onto Killua’s hand, looking up at the sky reaching shelves, “I wonder if they found anything. I hope they had some more luck.”

“Either way, we will be fine.” Killua replied calmly.

Gon nodded, smiling to himself. He was so calm about Killua’s words, it almost surprised the white haired teen. He didn’t know how his words had impacted him, but now he saw that he really took them to heart. Something about that gave him peace, as he now knew that if this failed, then Gon would be fine. Maybe he would take him on their own trip, and show him sights he deserved to see. He didn’t really have any plans for the future, as he still had plenty of years before his father wanted him to take over the family. He smiled, he would dedicate those years to Gon. He deserved it.

Gon stopped in his footsteps, sniffing the air, “I smell something.”

“What is it?” Killua also stopped, looking down at the other teen.

Gon’s eyebrows furrowed, and he looked plenty worried, “I smell blood I think. Blood and ink.”

Killua’s heart stopped, then he turned on his heels, hurrying forward in the direction they had been heading, “Stay here, I’ll let you know if it’s safe, alright?”

Gon did not protest, scared to see what had gone on in their absence. He was scared that the two had gotten into a fight, and possibly hurt one another. He really hoped he was wrong, and little did he know, he was very wrong.

Hisoka had gotten both men cleaned up, although fresh scratches now lined his lower stomach and back from their activities. Illumi had managed to put his hair up into a messy bun, though he looked a bit more disheveled than he normally would allow. His neck was covered in bruises, and blood caked beneath his fingernails from his little attacks. Both men were slowly returning books to their shelves, which made the books stiffen or quiver in fear as they touched them. Silence filled the air between them, much like the other times they had done this. 

Hisoka was the first to break the silence, as he normally was, “ _ That time was magical _ .” He breathed happily.

Illumi rolled his eyes, placing another book on a shelf. He did not agree, he felt awkward now, his body sweaty and uncomfortable. He hated how Hisoka had licked him clean, and he felt like he needed to scrub his body for years just to get all of the germs off. He closed his eyes, sighing lightly, _ I wish Killua would be the one doing this to me. Then I wouldn’t feel like this, _ he told himself.

Hisoka licked his lips, watching Illumi bend over for another armful of books, “ _ Don’t act like you didn’t like it. Why else would you let me fuck you like that? _ ” He eyed the assassin, becoming hungry for another round, although knowing it was very unlikely now, “You always complain about how much you need Killua,  _ yet, when a man wants to give you pleasure, you can’t help yourself. _ ”

“Stop it.” Illumi sighed again, trying not to get angry, “I didn’t like it. I feel gross, and empty.”

Hisoka felt a bit surprised by his sudden admittance. He wondered what else he felt, “Oh? Gross?” He tried to remain composed, “I see you haven’t changed, empty huh…”

Illumi knew that he had shared too much, but he couldn’t change it now, and instead he concentrated on his task. Then his ears perked a bit, turning to find Killua rushing towards them. His heart fluttered as the teen hurried to him, his face becoming pink with emotion, “Killu, what are you doing?”

“Are you guys okay? Gon said he smelled blood from over here.” Killua asked, looking up at his brother, “Did Hisoka do something stupid? Myra’s sister said the books were pissed off.”

Hisoka smirked, though he remembered he wasn’t supposed to act like himself for a moment, “Oh, we’re fine. We actually found our answers that we’ve been searching for.”

Killua’s heart dropped into his stomach,  _ shit, I should be happy, why do I have this bad feeling _ , he wondered. He tried to look optimistic, “Really, what is it?”

Hisoka’s smile only grew, masking how much he hated the solution himself, “Well, we must find the Tree of Life.”

“The Tree of Life?” Killua asked, remembering such a place had been spoken about before, “Like in stories?”

Illumi knew that Killua had some knowledge about the tree, as he had told him some of the stories about it himself when he was still very young. He had not known it was real, just as Killua obviously didn’t with his next words, “I don’t think it really exists Hisoka.”

Hisoka covered his mouth with his hand, covering a deep frown his it, “Yes, it certainly does, I’ve been there once before. We have to find it in the mortal world, then…”

“Then? Come on, spit it out already.” Killua pressed.

“Then Gon must die.” Hisoka said, madness filling his eyes by the mention, “ _ Isn’t that poetic _ ?”

“What the hell? We’re not killing Gon!” Killua gasped, eyes wide with fear, “No way! We can’t! That’s so stupid!”

Illumi grabbed onto his brother, pulling him close into an embrace, “Shh… I’ve tried talking him out of it but-”

“But nothing!” He yelled, trying to pull away before tears filled his eyes and he found himself lying against his brother, his head buried into his neck as he cried, “W-we can’t let him know, Illumi… He’ll want to try… I don’t want to lose him, please…” 

Illumi looked at Hisoka, who still had a hand over his mouth, tears were streaming down his cheeks, makeup running down with them. No one wanted this, but it was too late, Gon stood within earshot. His face stone, his eyes hard, and his fist clenched. He spoke up, breaking the silence, “Well, let’s go then!”


	14. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone returns to Yorknew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got a second chapter out today, be proud everyone! ha ha, anyway. I'm gonna share a second author fact, because why not? Second author fact of the day isssss I am going to college to be a professional artist, as I love painting and drawing and I wish to teach others how to do it in a constructive way. Who knew? ha ha

They ate in silence. Hisoka stood off to the side, leaning against a doorframe, still trying to reapply his makeup, Illumi had left for the time being, feeling overwhelmed by being inside with so many emotions. Killua and Gon tried to eat, but hadn’t said a word since Gon had decided that they were going. Killua wanted nothing more than to take the boy away from this, and erase any thought of death from his mind, but no, he was Gon and he was dead set on his destiny. Myra looked between the two boys, awkward smile forming, “Is my stew really that bad? You both have such a sour look on your faces.”

Killua looked up at her, but still couldn’t pull his mind together enough to talk. He knew it would only make him cry again. Gon, on the other hand, spoke up as though nothing was wrong, “No, it’s delicious Myra! We’re just thinking, that’s all.”

“Thinking about what? You two look like you’re about to attend a funeral or something.” She pointed out with worried eyes.

Hisoka closed his compact, snapping it loudly. That frightened her a bit, her form growing a bit smaller. Gon continued to act normal, “Nothing like that! We just know that the mission is super serious, so we are too!”

That’s when Myra’s sister entered the room, her light colored hair bouncing with every step until she reached Hisoka, her arms crossed as she squinted at him, “Tell me, why did you rip apart one of my most treasured books? They told me that you were about to kill him!”

Hisoka glared at the girl, tucking his compact into his pocket before he stood straight, “I don’t think it matters. We will leave you alone soon enough.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but Gon cut her off, “Sorry, he can be kinda destructive sometimes. He doesn’t mean it, trust me.”

She looked back at the teen, her eyes fire, and if she were a bit older she would even be intimidating to Gon. However, as she was even younger than himself, he couldn’t help but find her anger kinda adorable, “I promise we will be out right after we eat. Okay?”

“Fine.” She grumbled, stepping away from Hisoka who was showing great restraint not to threaten her. 

Killua let out a sigh of relief, then looked at Myra, who was staring at him. He tried to look normal, but it only made him look worse. She eyed him down, “What are you guys doing on this mission?”

Killua shrugged, finding some words, “Nothing much.”

“Nothing much my ass.” She grumbled, feeling very sensitive to their change, “If you keep this up, I’m seriously thinking of stranding you guys on this island until you tell me what’s up.”

Gon stood, slamming his hands down on the table, “No! You can’t do that!”

“Why not?” She asked, looking unamused.

He searched his brain for excuses, but when none came to him, he found himself sinking back down into his chair, tears threatening his eyes, “I have to get my nen back, please.”

Killua looked at him surprised, feeling as though the progress they had made was gone already. His heart shattered as he watched Gon’s form shrink, his eyes becoming dark and his hands shaking. He was that boy, the one who refused to leave the island, and the one who no longer wanted to get out of bed. He wanted to embrace him, to comfort him, to tell him that it would be okay.  _ But, would it really _ , Killua did not know.

Myra looked at her sister, her voice stern, “What does that require? Do you know?”

“I know it is a sacrifice.” She replied, thinking about it, then her eyes widened, “The book they were looking at is one from the after world. So I assume someone is required to die or be mortally wounded.”

Myra looked back at Gon, her voice now reflecting the gravity of the situation, “So it is a funeral then. I don’t think you should do this.”

“It’s none of your business.” Hisoka grumbled, unable to hold in his words, “If you insist on holding us back,  _ I will kill both of you _ . Whatever  _ Gon  _ wants, he gets. Do you understand?”

Myra’s sister looked a bit frightened by the air around Hisoka, her eyes widening, “Myra, drop it, they are certain about their choices.”

“What if I don’t want to just drop it? Gon should not die for such a childish wish. He’s too young to make this decision.” She insisted. 

Gon’s eyes grew serious, his fists tightened so tight that his knuckles were whitening, “I’m a hunter, I have been through so much, I know what I want, and I don’t care how old I am. Please Myra, I don’t want this to be even more difficult.”

Myra looked between him and Hisoka, then down towards her stew. Her mind was doing a mile run, trying to decide on which side she should take. Then, when she reached it, she felt dissatisfied, “Fine, it is your life after all. I don’t like it, but it isn’t my business. I just hope you know what you are doing, and I hope you make peace with the world before you go.”

Gon nodded, smiling a bit despite the tears that now fell down his cheeks, “I will, thank you.”

Killua sighed, laying his head down. Something in him wanted Myra to talk some sense into them, but it was hopeless, Gon was Gon after all, and even in his sad state, this bit of hope was all he needed to drive him. Never had Killua felt so distant from Gon, his hopes for the future gone in this instant. He slowly sat up, looking at his friend again. The boy had finished his food, and was already checking his backpack in preparation to go. Killua begrudgingly finished his own meal, then stood himself. He would have to find other ways to change his mind, although he knew it would be impossible. 

The ship sat where it had where they had left it. It lightly rocked on the much calmer water, Illumi sat on the beach, his eyes on the horizon. Killua was the first on the beach with him, as Gon and Hisoka were walking Myra’s pace, talking to her. He looked down at his brother, his mind still frying, “What are you doing?” He asked calmly.

“Thinking.” Illumi simply replied, looking up at his brother, “Are you feeling better?”

“No.” Killua replied honestly, feeling horribly bitter, “I doubt I will.”

Illumi respected that answer, his eyes returning to the water, “Do you want to talk for a bit?”

“You never are the talkative type.” Killua pointed out, though he felt relieved to talk to someone, “Still… talk to me please.”

Illumi’s eyes closed slowly, smiling a little, “Well, I want to say that I have figured something out. I just need your input.”

“What is it?” Killua could feel Illumi’s whole presence shift, it felt familiar yet, it was different somehow. 

“Well, I know that I love you.” He said simply, “I also know that I feel this way because you are the only person I can care for.”

“What do you mean?” Killua felt his face redden.

“I can never feel like this towards anyone. Ever since I first saw you, I never wanted you to be hurt, or to be away from me. I know that is unrealistic, so I have tried to give you space. However, when we are apart, I feel aimless. Like I am drowning.” Illumi told him honestly.

“Drowning?” Killua knew the feeling.

It was an empty feeling, one that felt impossible to escape. Empty escapism, the ability to push everyone and everything out of view. Drowning in your own thoughts until your mind feels nothing at all. Killua knew it too well. He would not feel the sun again until Gon had come into his life, and brought the clouds apart. He was that for Illumi, he was his comfort in the rain, he realized that now. It was a lot to unpack, but he was prepared to try. So instead of turning this idea down, like he normally would, Killua simply said, “Well, then we should probably be together more. Gon won’t need me if he keeps doing stupid shit.”

Illumi looked back at his brother one last time, a small smile on his face. Then everyone caught up, and the man stood. They all climbed onto the small boat they had used to get onto the island, then paddled out towards the ship carefully. They surprisingly had little trouble, and soon they stood upon the deck on the boat once more. Gon helped Myra prepare to sail, and once the ship was moving, he went below deck to get some rest. Hisoka was close behind, and Killua and Illumi sat on the deck together.

Below, Hisoka helped Gon find somewhere comfortable to lay down, and allowed him to use his lap as a makeshift pillow. He pet the smaller boy’s head, his voice low, “I will say, despite how I feel, I am glad that you wish to become powerful again. I take back what I had said before.”

“Which thing?” Gon asked tiredly, enjoying the feeling of Hisoka’s fingers as they brushed through his hair.

“The thing about you being pretty dead, you obviously still have life in you. That gives me hope.” Hisoka replied honestly.

Gon considered this for a moment, then opened his eyes, looking up at the clown, “Once I have my nen back, I want a rematch, alright?”

Hisoka smirked, licking his lips excitedly, “ _ I wouldn’t expect anything less. _ ”

Gon then felt questions begin to suddenly swarm through his thoughts, his first words a collection of them, “What is dying like?”

"Dying isn't the worst feeling.” Hisoka said, though his eyes told a different story, “Although, dying is a type of defeat that some will not allow. I didn't. I decided to defeat death in return, and in a way it was a way to finish what I had started. So, you need to defeat death, live again, and fight me. Like we had planned years ago."

Gon’s lips tightened for a moment, then he slowly sat up and he scooted closer to the man. He laid a soft kiss on his cheek, the tone of his voice driving him to feel bad about asking. Hisoka felt his heart race in a way it had never done before. Normally such stimuli would cause him to rampage, but as Gon's soft lips pressed against the man's cheek, all of the bloodlust in his body drained away. Instead of wounding the boy, he tilted his head back towards him, pressing a finger to his lips as an indication of what he truly wanted, "You missed."

Gon pouted, sticking his tongue out at the magician, "I did not!"

"You know, that look you are giving me makes me go _wild._ _I can barely contain myself_." Hisoka purred. 

Gon quickly pulled away, crossing his arms in protest. That would only make it worse. The man laughed lowly, his lust seeping from him, "Look what you've done, got me stirred up again…  _ Such a naughty boy. _ "

Gon regretted his little show of affection, pulling himself back. But then something in his stomach made him stop, his eyes going back to the man, then slowly down towards his own body. He was hard, excited by the words that Hisoka had spoken. He did not understand this yet, still getting used to this whole thing. He wondered if he had gotten hard kissing Killua, or if it was the teasing that did it. He did not know. He swallowed his pride, looking up at the clown with furrowed eyebrows, “I don’t understand what you do to me.”

“ _ I excite you, my little apple _ .” Hisoka purred, pulling Gon close again, and onto his lap, making him straddle him.

Gon whimpered, his hands going up to Hisoka’s chest in a weak attempt to pull away. Part of him didn’t want to pull away though, he felt like he needed to get rid of some of this stress. Remove his responsibility for at least a moment. His hands tightened onto the fabric covering the man, eyes large, innocent looking, “C-can you be more gentle this time?”

Hisoka bit his lip, his hands tightening on the boy’s hips. If he were on a tv show, he would surely be suffering from a nosebleed.  _ He is so damn cute, _ he told himself, his body only growing more excited by the second, “ _ I can try _ .”

Then he slowly unzipped Gon’s jacket the rest of the way, pulling it off of his small form. Then his tank top was also discarded. Hisoka did everything quickly, and once Gon’s chest was bare, he ran his nails down his chest, reaching the button of his shorts before he unbuttoned them. He leaned back against the wall, admiring the look of the boy in front of him for a second, then speaking, “Please remove your shorts, _ before I rip them off _ .”

Gon swallowed thickly, standing for a moment to slip off his shorts and panties. The man watched, eyes half lidded as his cock only became more erect. The show was enough to almost get him foaming at the mouth, the way Gon stood over him with only those socks on drove him wild. He bit his lip, slipping his own pants down, freeing his erection into the cool air. He shivered in delight, his eyes remaining on his prize, “ _ Will you entertain me? _ ”

Gon knew what he wanted, and slowly he licked his own lips to moisten them as he sank down onto his knees in front of the man. Hisoka watched him with hungry eyes, then gasped as the boy carefully licked the head of his cock. He arched his back lightly, a hand grabbing at the boy’s hair. Gon made a small noise as he pulled lightly, then found himself licking up the shaft, which earned him another pleased noise. He found the encouragement to be intoxicating, his heart beginning to pound as he pulled the head into his mouth and slowly moved it in deeper and deeper. A soft gag stood in the way, then he found himself sunk all the way to the base, dark pubic hair again tickling his nose. He looked up once more, to find Hisoka’s eyes glued to him, he knew he was doing good, and he grew more excited when he was again praised, “ _ Such a beautiful boy… _ ” 

Gon began to move quickly, trying to keep Hisoka deep, and hitting him to the back of his throat often. He gagged occasionally, but was too determined to slow down too much. Instead he only moved faster, his hand helping now as it rubbed what Gon had trouble reaching. Hisoka was euphoric, and impressed, the hand on Gon’s head having to do very little as he was doing such a good job by himself. He would cum if he had less control, but when he was reaching his climax, he instead yanked up on Gon’s hair, signaling to him to stop. Gon stopped, his hand still remaining on Hisoka’s base, tight around it. His eyes were pleading, he wanted more, and Hisoka was prepared to deliver. 

The boy was forced back, laid on the ground, bungee gum used to hold his arms up above his head. He squeaked to the sudden actions of the man, and watched with wide eyes as his legs were carelessly thrown up and over the clown’s shoulders, his head going down to lick up his shaft. Gon’s body stiffened, his back arching where he laid, his face turning pure red as a mew left him. Hisoka gave him little mercy when it came to a short blowjob, quickly licking up and down his entire cock, then sticking him excitedly into his mouth. He would release him occasionally with little popping noises as he had. Then he moved down, licking his entrance to make sure it was ready for his plans. 

Gon’s whimpers were loud, his body squirming as Hisoka’s tongue played with his sensitive bits and places. He could feel that unusual building up sensation he now knew was building up to an explosion. Hisoka was his detonator, and he pushed the button much faster than Gon had expected. His back arched even more, his eyes growing wide, “H-Hisoka, I’m gonna-!” Before he could say it, it came, and his stomach was soon covered in his own cum.

Hisoka chuckled to himself, finding this amusing. He sat up slowly, Gon’s legs still on his shoulders as he had. He looked at the boy as though he were prey, his wolf-like gaze making the spent boy tremble, “W-what are you doing?”

“ _ Fucking you, obviously. _ ” Hisoka purred, pushing his head into the now well lubricated entrance. 

Gon whimpered, his body stiffening again. The sensation of just cumming then being penetrated was all new to him, and his body had no idea how to react exactly. It didn’t hurt this time, but it was not pleasant thanks to the confusion. He tried to pull away a bit, but Hisoka had a firm grip on him, pushing deeper into him. Once he was slid all the way in, he hummed hungirly, “ _ That’s my good boy. Take it all in _ .”

Gon’s entire face turned red, and part of him wished he could cover his eyes, feeling embarrassed by the praise now, although something about it made his cock spring into action once more, trembling in the cool air. He looked at it with confusion, not sure how it had hardened already, but knew it was something Hisoka was doing. Part of him wondered if Hisoka had a nen ability that made him feel like this, though another part knew that was a childish thought.

Hisoka began to move, being more gentle than he had been the previous time. Gon’s body arched more, allowing more of Hisoka to fit into him, his breath caught in his thought to the sensation. Hisoka smirked as he watched his prey, licking his lips, “ _ You look like you’re having fun, my apple _ …” He then groaned, moving a bit faster to match what his body was begging for.

Gon whimpered, then his eyes shot wide open, his toes curling a bit, “W-what the hell?”

Hisoka smirked, the reaction was enough to explain what had happened. He recreated it, making Gon react again with a loud moan. He found the perfect place to hit, and now he hit it everytime to make the boy moan. He loved the noises, and he began to slam into the spot, his face full of pleasure as Gon’s body begged for more. His own voice a moaning mess, “H-Hisoka… Oh God, don’t stop! Please!” He cried out.

Hisoka groaned, his own body betraying him. He tried to hold himself back, but it was so damn hard when Gon was sounding like this. He thrusted harder, and harder, losing control of the situation quickly, however, Gon did not protest, and instead yelled in pure bliss. He came again, covering both of them in it before Hisoka followed, filling the boy entirely with his seed. He could barely stop himself, his hips moving on their own, tongue hanging out in pleasure. His hips still jerked a bit as he tried to slow down, never having cum like this before. Gon was truly what he needed, the token to his pleasure and joy. He smiled, tongue licking his lips a few times before he slipped down and smashed their lips together, kissing the teen roughly in between gasping breaths. Gon’s brain was fuzzy, his body moving on it’s own as he reached up and needily held onto the man’s shirt, being freed now. Their bodies melted together, their lips fighting together naturally. Gon would not be thinking straight, despite the bit of pain that he felt whenever Hisoka moved. He did not want this to stop, not this time.

Hisoka, however, slowly pulled himself out gently, allowing some of his seed to spill onto the floor. Gon whimpered, trembling to the feeling, “W-why did you do that?”

“ _ I can’t stay in you forever _ .” Hisoka laughed shortly, though he wished he could.

Gon tried to sit up, but found it difficult, so instead he laid still, lifting his arms to the man, “Up.”

Hisoka pulled him up into his lap again, nuzzling into him with gentle kisses, “ _ Better? _ ”

“You have no idea.” Gon breathed.

“ _ I think I do _ .” Hisoka replied lowly. 

Being back in Yorknew felt strange to Killua, who had left with hope but returned with nothing but a numb feeling. They were going to leave the next morning, get on a train, and head towards the rumored location of the tree. That meant one night in the apartment, which made his stomach tie itself into a knot. He wondered if it was okay to be alone with Illumi, and he wondered if he should just leave. Neither dissuaded him entirely, so he looked down at Gon, who looked exhausted, and smiled, “Well, anything you wanna do before we go get you killed?” even joking about it hurt. 

Gon felt pretty spent after his last interaction with Hisoka, though he couldn’t help wanting to do something fun before a long boring train trip. He looked up at Hisoka and Illumi, the clown was counting some money that he was giving to Myra for her troubles. Though it was obvious she was reluctant to take anything now.

Gon spoke up, getting Hisoka’s attention shortly, “Killua and I are going to explore a bit, okay?”

Hisoka looked at him, then pulled his keycard from his pocket, handing it to the boy, “Fine, just meet us back at the apartment once you are done. Don’t be out too late.”

“You sound like aunt Mito.” Gon pointed out, sticking out his tongue playfully.

“ _ And you look like a pumpkin _ .” Hisoka teased back before he went back to counting money. 

Gon blushed, opening his mouth to ask what that even meant, but decided against it and instead turned to leave with Killua. It was time for a fun night out, despite the pain in his rear, and the confusion in his mind. 


	15. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua and Gon have some time away from Illumi and Hisoka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter felt impossible to write, and I am uncertain why. However, here it is, a lot shorter and more rushed than I meant it to be. I'm going to be trying to make it up in the next chapter, however, let me apologize now! I'm sorry! I've been caught up in life recently, and I suck at handling life sometimes. The next chapter will be a big fan service one to make up for it! Anyway! Thank you to everyone who waited, and I promise to upload more soon!

Killua could feel his heart flutter as he thought about the events of the day,  _ hell of the past few days _ . He felt dazed, different, and yet, the same. He still felt his heart race when he looked at Gon, who was sweetly holding his hand and happily looking into windows of various shops. He was going to die, yet here he was, acting so cute, so normal, as though nothing were wrong. Killua had a brief thought that maybe he was crazy, and maybe he had misunderstood the situation. He bit his lip, his free hand messing in his pale hair. His eyebrows furrowed even more, his voice low, “Hey, uh, Gon?”

Gon stopped walking, looking up at his best friend, “What’s up?”

He took a deep breath, then spoke seriously, “Are you sure dying is worth it? What if it doesn’t work? What if you can’t come back?”

Gon took a moment, his eyes seeming to shift as he thought about his response. Then when it finally came, it was the most well thought out thing Killua had ever heard come from the smaller teen, though the darkness that formed in his eyes only made the taller teen’s heart sink, “I don’t mind the idea of dying, that’s why we have to make my last few days alive so much better. Something about this whole thing, something scary to look forward to, has made me feel more alive than I have since I’ve lost my nen. I just want my best friend to be with me in this, and to enjoy my final days. I hope that helps.”

Killua took a long moment to say anything,  _ hell what do you say to this _ , he wondered. He found himself moving, without being about to hold himself back, bringing the smaller teen to him into an embrace, their lips coming together into their most direct kiss. Gon’s eyes widened, but would soon relax and close, his hands coming up and holding onto the other teen as their lips danced into a gentle tango. It was so different from Hisoka, it felt so nice to him. He almost did not want it to end, and when it did he almost wanted to jump forward and begin again. 

Killua let out the breath he had been holding, a soft apology leaving him, “S-sorry, I couldn’t stop myself…”

Gon shook his head, face reddening, “No, don’t be sorry!” He said quickly, “I liked it, like a lot!”

Killua’s face turned pure red, his hand going up to shyly mess with his own hair yet again, “Y-you did?”

Gon smiled happily, nodding, “Y-yeah, it felt… genuine.”

_ Genuine _ , Killua’s heart stopped a moment, his brain reeling to that word.  _ What had Hisoka been like to him, _ he wondered,  _ what kind of lover is he _ ? Then Killua came to a quick conclusion, he was not a lover at all, he was using Gon. He knew this all along, he had tried telling Gon this ever since they met the clown, but now he had his claws into the boy, and he would not be releasing him. Killua sighed, hugging the boy close to him. He needed to support his friend, but he hated everything, he was beginning to feel the weight press on him, and it was suffocating. 

Gon hugged his friend back, his voice even and happy, “Maybe after all of this, we can run away from Hisoka and Illumi. We can go somewhere, like we had planned. Go across the world and experience things. What do you say?”

Killua let out a soft smile, and he nodded slowly, tears filling his eyes as he had. It was like a marriage proposal. A promise to stay together no matter what. 

Gon pulled away, speaking softly, “We should go do something fun, before it gets late and we have to go back.”

“Y-yeah, what do you have in mind?” Killua asked.

Gon simply smiled wide and began to walk away. Killua followed without question.

Illumi sat alone in his bedroom, eyes on the wall as his heart raced. His hand went to his chest, then up to his hair, petting it without much thought. When the door opened, he did not react in the way he normally would, and instead he kept brushing his fingers through his hair. 

Hisoka sat next to him, unusually quiet as he seemed to have a grasp on the gravity of his own love life. The man let out an overly dramatic sigh, laying back and shooting up a leg to get attention, “ _ Oh, Illumi! _ ”

“What do you want?” Illumi muttered, eyebrows furrowing at the nuisance. 

“ _ I feel sad! _ ” He said in a long drawn out and pouty tone.

“I can’t help you.” Illumi replied coldly.

Hisoka looked at him before continuing his act, “ _ If only I had a beautiful man to make me feel better! _ ”

Illumi rolled his eyes, standing up and going to the door, “If I would have known coming back to the apartment would get me harassed, I wouldn’t have come. Now calm down, before I leave.”

Hisoka sat up quickly, legs now pulled into a pretzel, “Wait!” He then tried to act bashful, something that was almost impossible for him to do, “ _ Please stay with me Illu… I’m just so devastated. _ ” 

“You have a strange way of showing it.” Illumi muttered, crossing his arms, “If you’re so sad you need to change your mind about the nen thing.”

“No, I can’t do that to him.  _ Besides… _ ” A large smirk filled his face, which was followed with his eyes rolling into the back of his head with daydreams, “ _ I just can’t wait for him to fight back, to show me what he’s made of. I won’t allow him to get away without one good fight. _ ” He paused, licking his lips, “ _ How romantic _ .”

Illumi felt disgusted by Hisoka’s presence now, as he knew that he had more dirty thoughts than the average pervert. He was a nen infused super pervert. 

The man sighed, leaning against the door frame, “I just wish you would leave us out of it. I don’t care to be a part of your fantasies. Regardless, we do need a game plan.”

“I’ve already thought about it.” Hisoka hummed, though he was barely present thanks to his daydreaming, “I’ve decided that one of you will be the one to kill him, as I cannot do it.”

“Why?” Illumi looked at the man, and could almost swear he had seen a glimmer of remorse on his face.

Hisoka bit his lip momentarily, then finally answered, “I just cannot. Respect my choices.”

The black haired man seemed to consider this for a moment before he simply replied, “Fine, although it will likely have to be me. I doubt Killua will lay a hand on the boy.”

Hisoka nodded, although ultimately he did not care who had to do it, as he knew both brothers were proficient at killing. It was in their blood after all. Now that they had that somewhat decided, he continued to another thought, “We will be staying here for a while, in preparation. I do not want to move too fast just in case something does go wrong.”

“What are you suggesting?” Illumi wondered out loud.

“ _ I am suggesting we take advantage of the situation, while we can _ .” The man purred.

Gon had led Killua throughout the streets of Yorknew. They walked with their hands grasping at one another, the sensation of their kiss faintly lasting on their lips as they both couldn’t help but float happily down the sidewalk. Gon finally spotted it, the place he had been looking for. He stopped and turned to his friend, squeaking rather happily, “Were here!”

Killua looked up, finding himself in front of a cute little ice cream shop. He found a larger smile forming on his face, his cheeks reddening, “Oh, this place looks pretty awesome Gon.”

Gon cheered and ran inside without another word. Killua followed dreamily, his heart fluttering happily,  _ man, he’s so cute _ .


	16. A New Sensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Killua have some more alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter I'm much happier to put out, as it is more my style. Also some sauce and fan service for you all! Enjoy!

Ice cream between friends soon drew to a close, and the shop did as well. The two boys, after enjoying some time together began to drift around the city, their minds buzzing excitedly. Their hands never released as they took in the sights, and soon they were in a park, enjoying the little break of nature scenery in the heart of the most mechanical place Gon had ever stayed in for an extended period of time. 

They talked aimlessly, about nothing but everything all at once, as they were genuinely just enjoying each other’s company. Gon found them a place to sit, in the middle of talking about how his aunt was so easily fooled by Hisoka.

Killua sat next to him, arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders as he listened. As the story drew to a close, the sun began to sink in the sky. It was getting late, and soon they would be forced to return.  _ No _ , Killua’s eyes narrowed,  _ not yet _ .

Gon sat back, looking upset as he glanced at the sky, “Man, it's getting pretty late, huh?”

“We don’t have to go back yet.” Killua told him, grabbing his hand into his own firmly yet lovingly, “I’m sure we can stay out for just a bit more.”

“Killua I…” Gon muttered, looking up at the boy with big eyes, then he found his body moving, getting into his lap and pressing their lips together needfully. 

Killua did not hesitate, he kissed back happily, knowing full well that he had already convinced him. So instead of lingering on the ticking clock, he stood, holding Gon up by his bottom. Gon’s legs twisted around him for stability, his hands clenching his shoulders for support. The boy innocently looked up at Killua, his eyes large and full of curiosity, “Where are we going now?”

Killua smirked, trying to show that confidence he had when they were younger. It was not real, but he wanted to show he had control of the situation even though it was false. He carried Gon towards the trees, holding tight to him as he spoke, “Somewhere more private.”

Gon swallowed thickly, his face pure red at the idea. He felt like he normally did before Hisoka had tried doing things to him, but he knew this was different. The grass, which caressed his back as Killua laid him down was soft and itchy, his heart pounded as he looked up at the boy he had missed for so long. He wasn’t the same Killua that he had remembered, he knew that, but now he was the closest he had ever been, their bodies pressed together in a tight grip. Gon’s body trembled as he felt the taller boy’s lips kiss his neck, lightly nibbling on the flesh. The hairs on his arms stood on end, his eyes closing tight, “Are you sure no one will see?”

“Positive. No one walks over here based on what I’ve seen.” Killua told him in a low voice, one that made his body crave more attention.

Gon knew that they were moving fast, his shirt being pulled up, and pants being tugged down, but he simply did not give a fuck at this moment in time. No, he had wanted this for so long, and now it was finally happening. It would not be like what Hisoka does, no it would be different, he knew that. It would be real, genuine, not a game like the clown had it.

Killua moved his lips down, face covered by his snowy white hair. His kisses trailed downwards, stopping momentarily at Gon’s stomach to give it a little more attention before he continued onward, making his way to the boy’s member, which stood at attention despite the slight cool air. He licked his lips, then gently placed a few kisses on the head. Gon gasped, putting his hands over his mouth to keep himself quiet as his friend’s lips curled around his cock and slowly took it in. It felt so warm, so different. Gon could barely contain how he felt, his stomach swelling with that exploding sensation almost immediately. 

Killua began to move up and down, eyes on Gon the whole time to make sure he was still okay with the situation. Seeing how red his best friend was, mixed with his little squirms and mewing noises was almost enough to drive the taller of the two completely crazy, but he kept his cool, working to give Gon a more meaningful climax. 

Gon whimpered, bucking his hips up with a louder cry of pleasure. He tried to apologize, but he couldn’t. Killua loved seeing his friend like this, the feeling of him thrusting into his throat made him harden, his body getting quickly worked up as he felt Gon’s hips move more and more as he drew closer to his end. Then finally it happened, Gon’s body twitched as he moaned into his hands, his cum coating the inside of Killua’s mouth. His member was released with a soft pop, Killua sitting up and marveling at the slightly sweet taste of the other boy’s cum. He swallowed it, licking his lips as he smiled, “How are you feeling?”

“Please fuck me…” Gon breathed, face pure red.

Killua’s eyes widened, knowing that Gon had to have gotten such a phrase from Hisoka. He felt his stomach turn, his body moving without much thought as he pulled down his pants and began to lube himself up with his spit. Once he felt ready, he took little time to begin pushing into the smaller of the two. Gon mewed, hugging himself as he watched.

Killua whimpered, noting just how impossibly tight Gon had been, much more than he had imagined. He pushed all the way in, almost glad that the boy did not seem to be uncomfortable or in pain, as he had not wanted to hold back now. He began to move, thrusting slowly, but quickly building his speed and roughness. Gon did not complain, his legs wrapping around the taller boy as he moaned into his hands. His back arched, his eyes closing tightly, a muffled, “ _ K-Killua… _ ” leaving him every few thrusts.

Killua would gain more speed, his cock being pushed in ways he had never imagined. This was so much better than he had imagined, the way Gon whimpered and mewed, and the way he felt looking at him in this state. It pushed him over the edge, his body beginning to spasm, cumming into his friend before too long, his body becoming stiff as he felt himself fill the boy. He was almost afraid to pull out, knowing it would certainly spill as he had. So instead he waited, looking at his lover with warm and loving eyes, “Are you a-alright?”

Gon nodded, hands slowly relaxing to his side as he let out a single hot breath. Sweat glistened his brow line, his chest rising and falling quickly as he caught his breath. Killua couldn’t help but admire this, admiring his beautiful friend. 

Eventually he had to pull out, and when he did his seed seeped out rather freely. He did not think he had ever cum so much, but figured it was normal to do so when having sex with someone you felt so loving towards. He smiled awkwardly, apologizing quietly, “S-sorry about the mess. I don’t think I’ve ever cum so much.”

Gon sat up slowly, hand on his stomach, “It feels so warm.”

That made Killua’s face turn pure red. Then his heart began to freeze. Hisoka would surely know something happened if he tried anything with Gon before a bath. This made him bite his lip, thinking about the consequences. He did not want to panic the other boy, but he knew how extra the clown could be. He did not want to see what he would do if he found out. He decided that they would have to be careful, as he couldn’t imagine what either of the older men would do if they found out. He spoke slowly about this, as he didn’t wish to scare Gon, “When we get back we need to immediately take a bath, alright?”

“Okay?” Gon did not pick up on why, and instead began to carefully dress himself. 

Killua let out a slow breath. Then he pulled up his pants and stood up, waiting for Gon to finish getting to be more presentable. Watching him did nothing to calm his nerves. Dread, despite how joyful he felt, lingered over them.

Hisoka sat looking at the elevator door for many hours after dark. His ears perking anytime he heard the wires move for floors below. He sighed heavily when it wasn’t his little pet, being more and more prone to complaining and being over dramatic. 

Illumi tried to ignore the man, making dinner for the boy when they got back. He was much less worried, trusting his brother to at least return as he knew Gon was not his property, and that Hisoka would not be the safest to disappoint. 

Hisoka laid back, grumbling to himself as he looked up at the ceiling, “ _ Illu! Why are they testing my patience? _ ” 

“I’m sure they are not, they probably lost track of the time. Stop whining.” Illumi ordered, not wishing to listen to him for much longer.

If he thought he could, Illumi would have likely have killed the other by this point. He hated how he acted, not liking how much of a hold or how much blackmail he had over him. However, he was stuck to allowing him to exist, and allowing him to keep whining freely.

Hisoka then suddenly sat up, smiling wide as the elevator began to move much higher than it had been. He fixed his hair quickly, then sat at attention. When the door opened, he immediately looked at Gon, however, quickly he noticed something was off. Gon’s shirt had a bit of a grass stain on it, his hair more wild than normal. He opened his mouth to ask about it, but Gon quickly cut him off by yelling, “Bath Time!” and running past the clown.

Once he hurried out of the room, Hisoka glared at Killua instead, “What did you do to him? Something is odd here.”

“Nothing, he just got dirty at the park. You know how he can be.” Killua said as confidently as he could, feeling like his old self more than ever.

Hisoka wanted to press, however Illumi poked his head in before he could, eyes big and voice a bit happier, “I have decided to cook dinner, perhaps you should clean up as well?”

Killua nodded, “Yeah, I’m sweaty so I’m planning on it.”

Illumi smiled a little, then returned to the kitchen, unusually happy as he continued his prepping. Hisoka was the only one seeming irritated, but he did not press this time, and instead he stood and began to strip. Killua’s eyes widened and he hurried past, “You’re not taking a bath with us!”

“We’ve talked about this before, _ Killu. This is my house, so I bathe when I wish. _ ” The man purred, winking at the teen.

Killua grumbled, getting into the bathroom and closing the door, leaning against it to keep him out for a moment more. He looked at Gon, eyes narrow, “Hurry up and climb in, we don’t need Hisoka seeing you yet.”

Gon climbed into the partially filled tub, looking over the side at Killua, “Is he taking a bath too?”

The bangs on the door were his answer, Hisoka’s falsely sweet voice sang through the door, “ _ Let me in boys _ .”

Killua sighed and moved out of the way, which allowed Hisoka to immediately barge in, already fully nude and ready to jump into the tub. Gon squeaked and moved out of the way, but was pulled into a hug, Hisoka purring happily, “ _ Hello my little apple _ !”

Killua grumbled, undressing and climbing in as well, although staying as far away from Hisoka as possible. He gave Gon an awkward apology glance. The boy did not seem to actually mind the attention, he seemed to actually love getting positive attention and praise, which is what Hisoka was actually doing for that moment. That made Killua know exactly the kind of love that Gon needed. He needed to know that he was cute, and that he was loved. It made sense, as Gon had very few positive thoughts aimed at himself, so when someone else aims positivity towards him, he soaks it in like sunlight on a flower. 

Hisoka pet Gon softly, smirking at Killua, “ _ Oh, Killu, did you have fun today? _ ”

Killua shrugged, “Of course. Though it’s really none of your business.”

“It is, you were with  _ my Gon _ .” The man purred, fingers gently scratching the boy’s scalp.

Killua rolled his eyes, not bothering to fight him on this. Instead he began to wash up as quickly as possible. Hisoka was picking on him by being extra cuddly with Gon. When he started to nuzzle their faces together, Gon whimpered and lightly began to push at him, whining as he did, “Hisoka, I’m not in the mood for hugs.”

Hisoka licked the boy’s cheek, making him shiver as he did. This infuriated Killua, and by the time he was climbing out, he had decided he would definitely be taking Gon away from this man. He was using him like a toy, but this man will be the one being played with.

_ I promise, Gon _ , he told himself as his eyes lingered on the boy.


	17. Binds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua and Illumi feel strained, Gon gets answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one to build up to the next which I will make the beginning of the final journey, so prepare yourself!
> 
> Thank you guys for still following this!

A few days had passed, and with the passage of time Killua grew more and more anxious over the plan. He trusted Gon with everything, and had been giving him secret attention ever since their secret admittance of love, however, he did not trust Gon’s over willingness to die. He kept having flashbacks to the days of the ant king, and flashbacks to Gon’s suicidal rage. He had hoped that this was different, but he had no guarantee that Gon would be okay once the deed had been done.

On that particular day, Gon had left the apartment with Hisoka, and Illumi was generally cleaning the rooms, as though it was his way to stay busy. Killua noticed him cleaning more and more lately, and he knew that he was trying to preoccupy himself, but he did not entirely know why. He almost wanted to confront him, see if maybe he had done something at the library that Killua had not known about. However, he never found a good time to bring it up, not until now.

Illumi had just stepped into the room when the teen spoke up, catching his attention entirely, “Hey, bro, what’s the deal lately?”

Illumi glanced over to his brother, who was seated on the couch. He squinted a bit, his voice his normal monotone, not showing much emotion, “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Killua couldn’t help but sound accusatory, “You keep cleaning, something is obviously bothering you.”

“No.” Illumi replied simply.

“Yes.” Killua continued to push, eyes narrow, “Something happened at the library, right? When you and Hisoka found out about the tree. I know that he was acting weird, but now you’re even worse.”

Illumi sighed, arms slipping around his own thin frame into a self hug, “I don’t think we should discuss this now. Besides, I am an adult, I do not need to explain myself.”

Killua could feel his blood boil. For so many years Illumi had been the one clawing his way into the teen’s private life. Now that he asked a simple question he felt that Illumi was offended. The lack of trust between the two strained even more, the thin rope holding their relationship was catching fire, Hisoka being the one holding the flame. He was always the force driving the ones he loves away. He could feel the tears begin to sting his eyes, but he blinked a few times, pushing them back down as he spoke rather harshly, “Fine, don’t tell me. But don’t expect me to tell you anything either. You don’t deserve it.”

Illumi opened his mouth to speak, but when he saw Killua’s expression he closed his mouth again. He turned swiftly, going right into their bedroom, half slamming the door behind him. Killua could feel his heart sink into his stomach, wondering if he was too harsh. He knew that Illumi had been sensitive as of late, but he hadn’t expected such a reaction. 

_ Why should I care _ , he wondered to himself. But still he cared, and he felt terrible for being so harsh towards the other man. He bit his lip, then stood, grabbing his coat and going towards the elevator, he needed fresh air.

Gon ran in front of Hisoka often to press his face into the glass of various shops and look inside. He had been acting rather chipper as of late, which made Hisoka nostalgic for when he was younger. Gon was the precious fruit he had watched grow, sour, then be reborn into such an excitable teenager. Hisoka couldn’t help but fantasize about their future fights, and dates. Both almost making the man salivate as he caught glances of the small boy. 

Gon had no idea what Hisoka had been thinking, he simply was enjoying his freedom from the apartment, loving the sensation of stretching his legs. Although something soon pressed into his mind, and he couldn’t help but ask, “What did you mean?”

“Huh?” Hisoka was completely thrown off guard by the sudden and vague question, “What are you asking?”

“You said I looked like a pumpkin.” Gon said, then quickly reddened, “The other day I mean.”

Hisoka stopped in his tracks, having to think about it for a moment before he began to snicker. His hand went up to his mouth to suppress his laughter, not wanting Gon to get offended, “ _ Oh, that _ .”

“Yes that!” Gon squeaked, now his ears were reddening from embarrassment. 

The man had to take a moment, practically wheezing from the idea that Gon had been wondering about that for a few days. He cleared his throat, hands now on his hips, still doing his best to speak without breaking into laughter once more, “ _ Do you really want to know? _ ”

“Of course!” Gon was basically begging, as this had bothered him since it had been said.

The man’s eyes trained on the boy, then his smile only widened, sadistic in nature. This scared Gon, as he had no idea what was going through the clown’s mind. Then finally the answer came, “It’s because you look all orange when you’ve been in the sun for awhile.  _ My little pumpkin _ .”

Gon couldn’t believe his ears. He had been stressed out over a simple observation. He found his arms crossing, spitting his tongue out at the man and his little banter. He just hated that he had been so bothered about something so stupid. However, he could tell that Hisoka was loving this, his smile only growing more lustful as he looked at the teen. He would have to contain his excitement, but this situation made it hard for the man not to take the teen into an alleyway and do dirty things to him. He swallowed hard to the idea, wishing he was a man with even less self control, but sadly he was not that man, and he continued onward. 

Gon followed after he huffed a few times. Now walking side by side with the man, eyebrows furrowed, “J-just don’t say dumb stuff like that, okay?”

“ _ I cannot promise that. _ ” Hisoka purred.

Gon grumbled, but decided to drop it for a moment, and instead refocused on shopping, as it was the only thing he had to do until their trip began. Besides, Hisoka was spoiling him, and he wanted to take a bit of a toll on the man’s wallet. 

Killua walked rather aimlessly, eyes up towards the sky, hands shoved into his pockets. He kept replaying this entire situation in his mind, always ending his thoughts with the fight he had with his brother. He wondered what he had done to turn out this way, as he did not remember a time in which he thought he would deserve such a drastic change in lifestyle. He blinked a few times, trying to figure this all out when suddenly he felt like he had run right into someone. He looked down quickly, his eyes widening as he had. He couldn’t believe, out of everyone he could run into. His lip quivered, voice shaky, as he said their name.


	18. A helping hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Hisoka come home to find that Illumi is upset and Killua is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a saucy chapter as a bit of fan service for those of you who want more Illumi in their lives! Enjoy and happy Easter!

Gon and Hisoka had arrived at the apartment before sunset, carrying a lot more bags than Hisoka had anticipated. After his pumpkin comment he noticed a drastic incline in things Gon begged him for. Being incapable of telling the boy no, he bought every little thing his heart had despired, likely spending a fortune on the lot. He had known that Gon had done this on purpose, but Hisoka still went with the flow, as it was his way to show just how impressively in love with the boy he was. Obviously it had worked, as Gon had tried to put some things back, but Hisoka refused, and bought almost everything the boy touched.

Now Gon had much more clothes than he would ever know what to do with, a lot of cutesy things he couldn’t even imagine wearing. He did really like the honey bee printed stuff he had gotten, but some of the more scandalous clothes were likely to be unworn. He cringed, thinking about having to leave so much clothes in Hisoka’s home if he were to run away with Killua. That actually made him feel really bad about it.

Hisoka placed the bags on the couch, stretching a bit before he began to look around, “ _ Oh, Illu, Killua _ ? What would you two like for dinner?” He cooed.

Silence was the response, so the man opened the door to their room. It was dark inside, but he could clearly see a silhouette on the bed. He crept his way to it, putting a gentle hand on the man’s hip, “ _ Illu? Are you feeling ill _ ?”

Illumi looked up at him, seeming to be half asleep. He rubbed his eyes a bit, which to Hisoka was pretty adorable, and sat up slowly. He looked to the other bed in the room, seeing that Killua was still gone. He looked visibly upset, eyebrows pulled down in an unusual way for his face. Hisoka knew something had to have happened, so he sat down next to the man, speaking gently, “Do you need to talk about it?”

“No.” Illumi muttered, laying right back down with a soft huff.

Hisoka knew that he wasn’t being truthful. The way his usually hard to read eyes had basically screamed of great grief, it made Hisoka almost angry for the other. He figured that Killua was to blame, but he knew he would not be the one to make him pay for any transgressions. It wasn’t his place. So, instead he stood, going to the door and calling out, “Hey,  _ Gon _ , call for a pizza, you know the number.  _ Illu and I need to talk _ .”

Gon had sat himself on the couch by that point, folding his clothes to be put away. When he heard Hisoka’s voice he nodded, saying rather cheerily, “On it!”

Once he confirmed that Gon was doing as he had been told, Hisoka closed the door and locked it, turning to the other man, hands on his hips as he stared him down, “ _ Speak _ .”

Illumi crossed his arms, his eyebrows becoming more and more furrowed as he laid there. He could tell that Hisoka was never going to drop this, as his willpower was basically leaking from his eyes. Eventually Illumi couldn’t hold it in anymore, and he sat up, actually holding out his arms to the man. A quiet request, no a demand to be held. 

Hisoka did not hesitate, although he was completely surprised, as this was something that Gon would do, not Illumi. He hurried over, wrapping his arms around the other man’s thin form, to only be thrown down upon the mattress, making his eyes widen in surprise. Illumi now sat on top of him, legs on each side, his hands going up to tuck his hair up into a bun. It was a spir of the moment type deal, another thing against Illumi’s usual character. Hisoka was not complaining, finding his sudden spout of dominance to be a complete turn on, although he had to try and ruin it himself, as he normally would, “ _ We should be quiet, Gon is just right out there _ .”

Illumi frowned at the man, hair in place as he pulled up and off his shirt. He usually liked to be clothed during sex, but not this time, no he wanted to feel something, anything that wasn’t this sadness in his stomach. He forced Hisoka’s shirt off too, throwing it rather unceremoniously onto the floor. Then he scooted down, already tugging at the man’s pants, demanding their removal without words. 

Hisoka did as told, liking this side of Illumi too much to argue. He was normally the dominant one, this was like acting, this being a dramatic scene in a movie perhaps. How that excited him, his pants gone like his shirt, and eyes large as he watched what this vicious Illumi would do next. 

He was not disappointed, the man took off his own clothes, and once he returned to Hisoka, his delicate smooth skin brushed up against the clown’s in a way that almost made the man moan. He had to bite his lip, knowing better than to make a peep. He continued to watch, Illumi bending down and laying kisses on his chest, soft, then beginning to bite as he reached his neck, hard and sharp. He gasped to the sensation, his hands grabbing at Illumi’s hips as he moved closer against him, the most contact the black haired man had ever had on his own skin as he moved to feel anything at all. 

Then he felt unsatisfied, the taste of blood not doing what he needed it to. He stood now, eyebrows continuing their furrowing as he looked at the clown, “Make me feel good.”

Hisoka laughed, sliding his form out of the bed, and kneeling before Illumi. Such a rare sight, to see those eyes on him in such a way. He had to do as told, he did not want this to stop just yet. He again wrapped his fingers around Illumi’s thin hips, his eyes staying glued on his black orbs, as he slid the man into his mouth, making swift as he already began to bob his head, taking the other as deep as he could go, then pulling him out with a satisfying pop. 

Illumi’s expression wavered a bit, his cheeks becoming flushed light pink as Hisoka worked his magic. He felt something alright, he felt regret, but it was too late to stop, he wanted to see it through and he did not feel like submitting to Hisoka now, no not after going through all of this effort to make him submit to him. He bucked his hips, forcing himself into Hisoka’s mouth, again and again, fucking his throat as he had. He liked the noises this caused, finding them to be somewhat gratifying despite how desperate he felt. He did not stop, he went faster, deeper, forcing Hisoka to take everything he had been feeling. The other man had dropped his hands to his sides, as to not accidentally stop Illumi. He had a feeling that this act could be used against him in the future, a favor for a favor, as it usually was.

_ Relationships are give and take, he’s taking and I am giving, soon he will give to me something in return,  _ he told himself just as he felt Illumi’s cum shoot into his awaiting mouth. He pulled back, released from his duty, licking his lips as he had. He felt so excited, so needy, but he could tell that Illumi was done based on how he simply sat on the bed, arms limp in his lap. He was emotionally spent, he seemed to have been feeling too much now. 

Hisoka stood, and decided to give a little bit more in that moment. He helped Illumi get some clean clothes on, dressing him gently, then tucked him back into bed, his blank stare continuing to remind Hisoka that something was up. Then the man pulled on his own clothes, the one he had entered with, fixing his hair momentarily before he left the room and left Illumi to sleep off his sensitivities. 

By the time their little bout of fun was over, Gon had already almost finished one of the pizzas on his own. Killua was still nowhere to be seen.

The clown looked around curiously before he sat with Gon, pulling him close and kissing him on the lips despite the bit of grease on them. Gon’s eyebrows furrowed, hands going to Hisoka’s chest and pushing away lightly, “You taste strange!”

Hisoka smiled, trying to kiss the boy more, “ _ Oh do I? Why don’t you have another taste and tell me what I taste like, hm? _ ”

“Ew, stop!” Gon mewed, blushing wildly.

This is what Hisoka liked about Gon, and usually about Illumi. Both seemed so innocent and shy half the time, but today Illumi was so new, a breath of fresh air. He still loved Gon, and how much he wanted to completely destroy him, it was so tempting that he was about to make his move, but then the elevator dinged, making the man’s eyes shoot towards the doors as they pulled open.

In stepped Killua, and a girl he could have sworn he had seen once before. He had to think about it for a long time, long enough for her to have noticed Gon and start yelling at him. He did not hear her, mind full of questions as to why this stranger was in his home. Then his thoughts all culminated as he said, “Ah, the little girl from Greed Island, I remember you.”

Biscuit’s arms crossed over her chest, her face full of anger, “You don’t even remember my name, and yet here you are being a huge pervert with Gon! What makes you think a sixteen year old boy needs to be with a thirty year old man? It’s that a little bit strange to you?”

“ _ No, not at all. _ ” Hisoka looked unimpressed, not really liking being yelled at in his own home.

Killua put a hand on Biscuit’s shoulder, trying to hold her back as he sighed, “I told you to just remain calm. Gon is choosing this for now, so we have to trust him.”

“I don’t trust any of this!” She turned to Killua, eyes big and sad, “Besides I always imagined a cute little wedding between you and Gon, not with this big creepy guy!”

Hisoka couldn’t help but laugh, hugging Gon even closer to his form, “ _ Well too bad, Gon and I are planning on marrying after he regains his nen. He’ll be my little housewife _ .”

Biscuit looked like Hisoka had ripped out her heart, hands on her hips she was about to lay into him even more, but was interrupted by the man, “Why is she in my home anyway?”

Killua stepped between them, eyes narrow, “She wants to help us.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Hisoka muttered, eyeing the girl down.

Killua again tried to hide their view of one another, “She’s just processing everything. She hasn’t seen us in a few years. But, she has been to the great tree from the book.”

“ _ Oh? Has she? _ ” Hisoka looked up at the teen, hand now rubbing Gon’s backside without much thought, “Do you have proof?”

Biscuit hated seeing him touch Gon like that, as she had almost seen Gon as one of her own children. She grumbled to herself, and spoke with urgency, “No, I have no proof. I just know how to get there, and what you will need for the ceremony. I do not agree with it, but I will do anything if it means Gon will feel happy again. So listen to me, alright?”

Hisoka eyed her for a long moment. Then finally he gestured to the pizza, “Eat then, we don’t need you  _ starving to death _ before then. Oh and…” He smirked at her, “ _ if you fail us, Gon will not be the only one who will die, do you understand? _ ”

She swallowed thickly and nodded, knowing he was serious, but so was she. 


	19. The traveling circus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time to start the journey to the great tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a quick chapter to have more Biscuit in my life, enjoy!
> 
> Thank you to Jhh88 again, I appreciate your comments always!
> 
> Thank you to RXX, I'm glad you like my story! I assure you that I am watching the show again, and I am almost out of the ant arc, I think anyway!

The week had gone rather quickly, Gon’s death quickly approaching as the days ended. It was time for them to begin to move, and with Biscuit’s help, they were destined to make it to the tree within the next few weeks. They would take a single day leaving Yorknew far behind them, their group looking odd to whoever passed by them.

Now they were slowly heading into a forest, which was much more peaceful than the city. With the prying eyes disappearing, Gon began to walk more comfortably, his stride more natural once he was back in his element. He was walking rather close to Hisoka, mostly because of his hand, which was firmly on the boy’s shoulder, but once they reached the woods, Gon looked up at the man, his eyes quite large and pleading, “I want to run ahead.”

Hisoka seemed to consider it for a moment, then he released the teen, smiling at him as he had, “ _ Go ahead. _ ”

Gon smiled and hurried off into the forest, just getting some of his pent up energy out. He hadn’t been able to run around since their last trip, and his muscles ached for exercise. It also allowed him to stop thinking for a while, which was very welcome to the boy.

Biscuit watched the boy disappear into the overgrowth. Once he was completely out of sight, she looked up at Hisoka, her voice stern, “I don’t know how comfortable I am with showing you such a sacred place.”

“I guess that’s too bad.” Hisoka hummed, arms crossing.

Illumi looked between the two, knowing that something bad was stirring every time they talked. He knew this girl would be trouble, but part of him just couldn’t care anymore, still feeling rather empty since the fight he had with Killua. Neither had spoken to each other since then, so it was unsurprising that it had not been resolved. 

Killua, on the other hand, did not pay too much mind to Hisoka and Biscuit, as he figured that their squabbling would ultimately be petty and lead into no real conflict. At least now, when Hisoka basically held all of the cards. He had already made her aware of their plans to run away, so she would not do anything that would ruin their idea. She had been so excited when she was let in on the plan, although she was uncertain about what exactly Killua had planned to do to get the clown to go away. Ultimately, that would have to be dealt with later, but Biscuit made it clear that she was willing to lay down her life to keep Gon free from Hisoka’s twisted form of commitment. 

Killua knew that the plan would begin right after Gon awoke from the ceremony, and that was when they were going to escape, Biscuit staying behind to deal with the ramifications of their actions. He hated that, he wanted to be the one to take any and all punishment, but Biscuit insisted, as she wanted nothing more than the two boys to be happy.

Hisoka spoke up, eyes forwards towards where Gon had gone, “If you have something to say,  _ I’d suggest you say it now _ .”

Killua almost felt his heart stop, but he kept his cool, eyebrows furrowing, “I have nothing. Just, stay on your best behavior, alright?”

“I’ll be less Hisoka.” The man nodded, although he had an air of suspicion around him.

Killua hoped that Hisoka would lower his guard over the next few days, but he had no guarantee that he would.  _ That might complicate things _ , he told himself, glancing towards Illumi,  _ and we still don’t know what to do about him _ .

Illumi looked towards his brother, face completely unreadable. It was like he had restarted back to day one of this plan. He was non responsive, numb and hollow. Back to the blank slate he had been. He still seemed to care for Killua, having made him breakfast just that morning, but he did not say anything to him. In fact, he had only been talking and spending time with Hisoka, which was a strange concept. 

Killua looked away from his brother, and back forward. They were reaching a clearing, where Gon had perched himself into a tree, laying on the branch comfortably. Based on the dirt on his legs, it was obvious that he had ran around quite a lot, so he probably felt better. Hisoka walked under the tree, looking up with his hands on his hips, “ _ Oh, Gon, you look absolutely ripe up there. Is it time for me to pick you? _ ”

Biscuit grimaced, though did everything in her power not to gag. Gon looked down, his sunny eyes absolutely beaming from excitement of being in the woods, “No, not yet! I think I saw a squirrel!”

Killua couldn’t help but smile, coming up next to Hisoka as he also watched Gon climb up even higher. Biscuit took this moment to start putting a small camp together, with Illumi helping just a bit with putting up a few tents. She was shocked that he had helped, and even more surprised that there were only three tents. She took a moment, knowing one was for her. She then assumed that Illumi was sharing with someone, and so was Hisoka. She just hoped that it would be with each other, and that the boys would be able to have some peace from the older men. 

Gon was finally climbing back down, looking down below he yelled, “Catch me!” 

Then without hesitation, the boy jumped off of the branch he had been laying on, landing right into Hisoka’s awaiting arms. He held up a twig that had an acorn on it, smiling, “I got a trophy!”

Hisoka righted himself, smiling as he had, “ _ Ah, what a beautiful trophy you have, but not as beautiful as mine _ .”

Gon looked at him, confused, “You have a trophy?”

Hisoka then quickly smashed their lips together, pulling away with a purr, “ _ Yes, you _ .”

Killua looked away rather quickly, trying not to get angry about the affection. He went over to the little campsite, seeing if there was anything he had to do. Illumi moved away just as Killua got close, and once he was a sizable distance from everyone he began to dig. Killua squinted at his brother, and Biscuit looked at him confused, “Uh, what is he doing?”

“Digging a hole.” Killua muttered.

“Why?” She asked, looking more and more worried.

“He just does that when he wants to feel safe. Don’t pay attention to it.” Killua rolled his eyes, looking around the campsite to get everything in place.

She continued to stare until he eventually stuck himself into the hole, filling it in above him. She did not know what to say or think, sort of going through a crisis as she thought about it much more than Killua had told her to. 

Hisoka still held Gon, pressing kisses against his face as he walked to the tents. He purred every time he laid another kiss on the boy’s face. Gon was not returning the kisses like he normally would, but Hisoka still persisted. 

Biscuit was about tempted to yell at the man, but luckily he sat Gon back onto the ground, freeing him from the barrage of kisses. Gon stuck out his tongue at the man, then hurried over into the tent that he wanted.

Biscuit looked between everyone, feeling a bit light headed.  _ What have I gotten myself into _ , she asked herself. 


	20. The last straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Hisoka go into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a saucy chapter, so be prepared. This story is so stressful for me haha.

Night had settled upon the forest. After a fire was built, Hisoka had settled down next to Illumi’s hole, playing cards with the partially buried man. Everyone else sat around the fire, talking about the next few days. Gon had mentioned that he was getting pretty excited, but also his nervousness had become real, which was a fact that he barely shared, as he did not wish to be talked out of his decisions. Even Hisoka’s ears perked to Gon’s slight admittance of being anxious, but no one tried to talk him out of anything, as they knew better.

After another hour of talking, it was time to settle in. Biscuit climbed into her tent, though she gave Gon a gentle goodnight as she had, still concerned about which tent he would be made to sleep in.

Illumi buried himself entirely into the dirt once he had won the last game of cards between him and the magician. Hisoka gathered his cards into his hands, and crossed over to Killua and Gon. He shuffled them, his eyes glued to Gon. Killua could feel the pressure build up between them, which was interesting to him, as Hisoka had been kinda holding off on using Gon recently. However, it was obvious that he was getting frustrated, needy even as he spoke in a heavy tone, “I think that _ Gon  _ and I should have another look around. Make sure nothing dangerous is around us.”

Killua’s eyes narrowed at the man, “I think he should go to bed. It’s late.”

Gon looked between the men before scrambling to his feet, waving dismissively to Killua, “Its fine Killua, don’t worry. I’m sure Hisoka will let me sleep in your tent once we come back, right Hisoka?”

The man looked down at the boy, sensing his demand pretty easily. He knew he had nothing over the clown, but wanting to keep their relationship as positive as possible he agreed, holding out his hand to be taken by the boy, “ _ Yes, of course. Whatever my little apple wants. _ ”

Gon gave Killua one last soft smile, then grabbed the man’s hand and went into the forest with him. They managed to get pretty far away, the crickets chirping in Gon’s ears as the light of the fire disappeared. Gon could feel anticipation build up in his stomach, but it wasn’t exactly a bad feeling. He knew what Hisoka had wanted, and for once he wasn’t exactly opposed to it. He hadn’t been touched in a few days, having his last encounter with Killua in that park. He kind of needed relief himself, as he kept thinking about such things when he looked at the men. He missed the smell of sex, the feeling of being under someone else’s weight. Heck, even the feeling of being praised. It was all just too much, making his stomach churn in a way he couldn’t help but want to end. He tightened his grip on Hisoka’s hand, his voice heavy for him, “Hisoka… can we stop here?”

The man stopped, looking at Gon with a surprised expression, “ _ Hm, what is it _ ?”

Gon freed his hand, holding up his arms to be held, “I just… I want to do it here, okay?”

Hisoka’s eyes widened, cheeks pinkening a bit. He bit his lip, trying to hold back, but damn he just couldn’t. He found himself moving fast, grabbing the boy by his armpits, and pushing him against the nearest tree, thrusting their lips together.

Gon melted into the kiss, his hands going to Hisoka’s chest and clinging to the man’s shirt as he felt their hips begin to rub against one another. Between kisses were gentle mews, and moans, both getting extremely excited for what was coming. 

Hisoka moved expertly, not holding himself back at all this time. Instincts taking over, he pulled the boy’s pants off, then tugging his own down just a bit, his erection springing up between the boy’s legs and resting against his own. The man still rubbed himself against the teen, rubbing their cocks together.

He growled now, releasing Gon momentarily to the ground, then grabbing his hair, yanking him down to the source of his frustration, with a low, “Suck it, now.”

Gon looked up at the man with his big eyes, opening his mouth for him. Hisoka wasted no time, thrusting himself into the boy’s mouth. Gon gagged immediately, eyes staying on Hisoka, but tearing up. As the man thrusted, he couldn’t help but choke a few times, the man’s pubic hair tickling his nose as he pushed all the way inside. Again and again, he could barely breathe as Hisoka’s thrusts only grew more violent, until he pushed the boy’s head back, and climaxed onto his reddened skin. A huff leaving him as he shivered in pleasure, “ _ Ah, yes… I’ve missed this… _ ”

Gon felt like his lips had become swollen from the interaction, Hisoka had never been so rough with him before. He breathed out now, and quickly breathed back in, trying to catch his breath. Then his moment of ease ended, the man kneeling in front of him, pulling him into his arms, into a strange hug. Gon’s eyes widened, weakly putting his arms around the man. He felt strange about this hug, as it felt so different than Hisoka’s intentions before this point. Then he was laid upon the grass, the leaves and twigs below stabbing into him lightly as his eyes looked up at the man, his skin glistening from the cum that stained it, “A-are you okay?”

Hisoka smiled a bit, speaking in a hot tone, “ _ Of course. _ I just… wanted to see what Killua felt when he holds you like he does. I hope you don’t mind.”

Gon didn’t know what to say, but he had noticed something else. They were being watched, and he knew by who. Killua was there, his protective presence very known even to the powerless boy. Hisoka was practically rubbing it into the teen’s face that he could be a gentle lover as well, although all Gon could think was that he wished Killua would go away. He didn’t want him to see him like that, begging and sweaty. He wished that Killua would go away, and just save himself from that, but no, as Hisoka rubbed himself, preparing for the second go, Killua’s eyes lingered on them from afar, sitting on a branch meters away. 

_ Please no _ , Gon begged in his mind,  _ don’t look, Killua. Please don’t look _ , he felt his heart begin to race more, something making his body become more excited. Then he felt as Hisoka began to push inside, his hands being grabbed, forced above his head as the man pushed the whole way inside, and sat there for a moment, his lips against the boy’s ear, “ _ Mmm… I like having an audience, and you seem to as well… _ ” 

Gon whimpered, trying to shake his hands free, “No! Please stop! I don’t want Killua seeing this-” 

“ _ Too bad. _ ” Hisoka giggled, tying the boy’s wrists together with his bungee gum before he sat up and began to thrust, already hard against the boy.

Gon tried to hold in his noises, biting his lip hard as he did. But then he found his back arching, Hisoka hitting that sensitive spot within the teen, forcing noises to errupt from him, and making his lip bleed as he tried harder and harder to keep them in. The man continued to press that spot, knowing just how Gon ticked, and fully being aware that their audience member was only making Gon want more, even if he did not know it yet. He would show the nosey teen what Gon craved, and prove to him that he was obviously the better man for the smaller teen.

Hisoka growled, he was already nearing his end yet again, still sensitive from the first time. However, he held it in, thrusting harder into Gon to try and finish him first. It was another way he was trying to display his dominance. Gon, being helpless to this, cried out finally, his back fully arching and making him press into the man’s cock even more. He practically screamed in pleasure, tears filling his eyes, “H-Hisoka! Ah! P-please!”

Then it was over, the boy finished hard, his orgasm basically making his whole body shake in a way it had never done before. He was not released however, made to endure a few more thrusts by the clown, then being filled completely by the man’s seed as he finally began to slow. They were both messes, breathing hard and glistening in sweat. Hisoka pulled out slowly, then watched as his cum made a mess upon the grass. He licked his lips, liking his handiwork, and knowing full well that Killua would have gotten the message.

He stood now, pulling up his pants, and winking at his little pet, “ _ Come on, _ I’m sure Killua will want to see you. _ We shouldn’t keep him waiting, you know how impatient he can be _ .”

Gon felt his world closing around him, his mind rather dizzy as they walked back to camp. Killua had returned to his spot, eyebrows furrowed, eyes glued to the fire. Gon felt like he was going to die the moment Killua looked at him, as for the first time in his life, he wanted to run away from his best friend. Hisoka climbed into his tent, holding off any playful comments for the time being. That left Gon alone with the situation.

Killua finally looked up at Gon, making the boy’s heart stop. Then, shockingly he smiled gently at the boy, holding up his arms to him, “Come here.”

Gon rushed over, hugging onto Killua quickly. There was nothing to say. Killua still loved him despite what he had just seen, and Killua would not leave him over this. Gon felt so overwhelmed, and overjoyed, he cried. He was so thankful to love someone so understanding. Thankful to have Killua.


	21. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon has reached the tree, and now he dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah a short chapter, because the next one will be a bit of a big one. So dark, kinda mirroring my feelings right now, as I've been rather upset all day long. I hope you guys enjoy as always. We're nearing the end here.
> 
> Thank you to rxx, I like fluff scenes so I had to add that!  
> Thank you to Daisong_Hues, I love comments, they help me continue onward and keep from feeling depressed about spending efforts on things I am uncertain is making people happy! For once in this chapter someone is going to die, so hopefully you won't be too sad!  
> Thank you to Atom1050, I am glad that you always look out for me, I am currently having trouble with school because of other people not fulfilling their duties and therefore making my experience harder. I don't really have writers block, it's just I like pleasing my readers but some want all kinds of different things. I have decided to go with whatever I want from now on in this story, as it simplifies it for me. Thank you again.  
> A final thank you to Jhh88!

The days passed faster and faster, the goal was within sight, a large tree whose branches dared to scrape the sky, making clouds swirl around them. Gon’s eyes could barely make out the branches, and with awe, he stared up at them. The Tree of Worlds, a monument designed to split reality at the seams, and allow humankind to feel alternate universes diverge into one spot. Biscuit had said that she used to visit here, saying that it was a good place to think and a place to focus your nen. Gon could already feel the force of the tree, as it waved through his body like a river, his fingertips buzzing with a numbing excitement. 

People stood at the entrance, wearing silky looking robes that covered their skin entirely. They almost appeared to be statues, the way they stood silent, holding lanterns in their extended hands. Gon looked between the people, although he was uncertain if they were looking back. Killua, on the other hand, seemed on edge, getting closer to Gon, “Their nen feels odd.”

Gon could not feel it, although the air did feel different now, and Gon was very aware of the smell of the place. It smelled coppery, and ashy, like burning metal. Gon found himself scrambling to hold Killua’s hand, his heart beginning to pound. Killua held his hand tightly, keeping his eyes peeled for anything suspicious, however, Biscuit’s more relaxed walk made him calm a bit, as he knew that she would never do anything to put them in danger. So, Killua began to look forward, into the darkness of the tree. He had never seen such a big tree, the inside feeling miles long, and in the center a large staircase led to an altar. Hisoka and Illumi were asked to stay outside of this main room, which made both men argue for a moment, but the statue-like men had insisted that they stayed outside, saying that their nen would only tarnish the purity of the place. 

So Hisoka made Gon give him a kiss, and told him to kick death’s ass. Gon had promised to do what he could, continuing onward to start the ritual. 

Biscuit was glad that the protectors of the place had the same feelings towards the two men as she did. However, she was aware of the single exit, so once they began to leave they would have to cross paths with the clown and the assassin. She furrowed her eyebrows, dropping her voice into a low and careful tone, “It’ll be hard to get Gon out of here without Hisoka and Illumi being in the way.”

“I know.” Killua nodded, having already thought about it, “We need to be careful, and maybe find a way to get everyone outside without starting something. I don’t want to drag these people into our mess.”

Gon breathed out the breath that he had been holding, changing the subject to a more present issue, “Do we have to go up those stairs?”

“Yeah, up there is where you will meet death.” Biscuit replied, although she still felt a heavy weight in her heart when thinking about it, “Are you sure about this Gon? This is your last chance to change your mind.”

“Dying can’t be that bad.” Gon replied with a flat tone, eyes filled with familiar and unbreaking determination, “If everyone is meant to one day die, like Kite, like Netero, then so am I. I’ll be awake before we know it, I’ll punch death in the face if I have to.”

“Okay then, let’s go.” Killua sighed, wishing so much that Gon would have said otherwise, but he trusted Gon, and so he continued to hold his hand as they made their way up the stairs. 

Each step was carved from the innards of the tree, and each step made the entire structure groan in a particular way. Killua wondered if the books from the library had anything in common with the tree, as the noises that it made had reminded him of the book that told Illumi about the tree in the first place. It really did not matter to the teen, but he found it quite interesting what kinds of properties existed in the organic matter of such a large tree. 

The final step, the alter, which was also constructed with the organs of the tree, sat before them. Gon let go of Killua’s hand, stepping towards it, putting his bare palm against the soft wood that made it up. He rubbed it a bit, eyes concentrating as he had, “I can feel the nen of the tree on this, I can also feel the nen of other people.”

Killua stepped up, also putting his hand on the ruin, his eyes widened, it felt like hundreds of nen users were laying on it simultaneously, yet, it was empty. He looked down towards Gon, his uncertainty only growing further, “What if this power is from the people who didn’t quite make it?”

“Then I’m sure they’ll help me make it.” Gon said with great force, already climbing up to lay upon it.

Biscuit finally joined them, her eyes even more sad, “Gon, maybe we should wait a moment?”

“No, I want to get this over with.” Gon replied with his normal beaming voice, his eyes now towards the sky, which was miles above them through a big skylight opened up at the tip top of the tree.

Biscuit let out a shaky breath, then looked up at Killua, her face barely able to keep it’s composure, as though she was at a funeral, “Who will do it? I don’t want to make you-”

“Don’t worry.” Killua said quickly, voice numb, “I’ve killed a lot of people, I know how to do it cleanly, and it would likely reduce the time he would need to heal once he wakes up.”

“Are you sure?” Biscuit persisted, not wanting the burden to be on Killua just in case something went entirely wrong.

“I am.” Killua said, smiling sadly as he stepped forward, towering over the boy that he loved, “Are you ready, Gon?”

“Y-yeah, I am.” Gon replied, his voice wavering just a tad, “Just… wait for me, okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’m not moving until you wake up.” Killua responded, although his own words made his heart ache, “I love you.”

“I love you too, see you soon.” Gon replied, tears filling his golden eyes.

With that Killua moved quickly, using his fingernails to deal the blow. He had never imagined doing such a thing, but he had to do it fast so he would not think about it too much. Now, it was over, the blood drenching his vision. Gon was dead. 


	22. Death's Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon is dead, and he realizes something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was interesting to write, as I was able to reference my other works within it haha. I liked being able to add such a surreal part of the story, so yay!
> 
> Thank you to Jhh88, don't worry about Gon being dead, it was intended for awhile now, just part of the story, as you will see.   
> Thank you to Daisong_Hues, your words made me smile and feel more confident in my works, thank you so much.

Gon's vision flickered momentarily, his vision fading in and out as his soul was absorbed by death. In this moment he only felt warm tears falling upon his cheeks, Killua standing over him and watching him with those eyes of his. Gon had a moment, where he could see through Killua, seeing someone he had not thought of in years. Kite stood over Killua, their silhouettes lining up perfectly. Then nothing, darkness, cold. Gon's heart had ceased. He was dead.

A shroud of darkness surrounded Gon, cold filling his body as he laid there. He could not move, and he was unable to breath, but he could still concentrate. Whispers filled his ears, telling him things he could never understand, as he was not meant to stay here in the dark, _ no _ , he furrowed his eyebrows, forcing himself to move a bit. Then he could feel a gentle hand on his own. He tilted his head a bit, eyes opening, a light figure stood before him, a veil of snow white hair enveloping him as the warmth of his hand began to spread. He spoke, though his voice came out more than once, echoing all around them, making him sit up in surprise, “Who are you?”

“Who are you?” Death repeated, tilting its head as though the question had great gravity, his hand remaining in Gon’s.

“I am Gon.” Gon replied after a long time, then he narrowed his eyes, “I don’t belong here. I am only visiting.”

“Many say that. Very few earn the right to leave.” The soul replied, his voice gravelly, white hair shifting a bit as he seemed to look away.

He seemed to be testing Gon, he could feel so many eyes on him. He swallowed hard, squinting his eyes to try and see the soul’s face, although he could not make it out, like it was blurry, “What do I have to do?”

“What do you have to do?” Death repeated him again, as though Gon’s own words were the advice that he needed.

“I need to wake up.” Gon replied, although he was uncertain if that answer was correct, he felt so wrong, so off.

“Then do it.” Death told him.

“How do I wake up?” Gon persisted.

“How do you wake up?” Death continued to press.

Gon sat in silence now, feeling extremely unhelped, and lost. Slowly he found himself talking more, telling Death various things, even though he had no reason to do so, “I have to wake up for Killua, he’s waiting on me, and I don’t want to make him wait for too long. Biscuit will start to cry if I stay for too long. Hisoka might hurt someone, and Illumi will hurt Killua more and more. I need to wake up, and tell everyone how much I missed them. I don’t like being alone, you see? I felt so alone, for so long, and now I realize that I felt so happy after Hisoka took me from home, and made me start experiencing life again. Please, don’t make me ruin their lives by dying here. They just wanted to help me, and I intend on paying them back one day.”

Death stood silent for a long time. Then the soul turned his head back towards Gon, his voice low, “What will you do with life? Will you throw it away without your nen? Or will you flourish?”

“I don’t know, but I intend on doing what I can to make the people around me smile.” Gon told the spirit, “I would love to have my powers back, but if that means that I will make everyone sad, then, I don’t want them anymore. I’ve realized this. Please, let me return.”

“In another world, you would do anything to fight for revenge, your powers being used in an ultimately evil act to return the world and humankind to a state of peace. In another world, you learn about your powers in horrible ways, and you kill before you mature, it hangs over your head, and your soul barely ever recovers. In this world, you sacrificed your powers in order to end a great evil, although with revengeful intent, ultimately you hurt yourself and the evil only, saving those around you from great pain and indignities. What will you give now? If I give you back your life, as well as your nen, what will you do?”

“I will help people, and go on adventures with Killua.” Gon replied, eyes filling with tears, “I love him so much, I think I will do everything to give him the world. To show him that I’m better. To make him feel better.”

“And if you are ever to find a life that requires your assistance?” Death asked.

“Then I will help them, like always.” Gon replied, smiling at Death.

The spirit was taken slightly aback, as this teenager had not lied to him once. He was telling nothing but the truth, and he was unashamed of his love and intentions. He was not as selfish as he had seemed when he was so insistent on regaining his nen, no, he was broken. He was simply needing some glue, to put his soul and body back together. He would change for the better, and he would go and carry on his helpful attitude. Death made up his mind. 

Gon already felt different, he felt air rush into his lungs, and he felt his body being weighed back down. A great tiredness spread over him, and a pain filled his throat as it forced itself to mend from the precise cut Killua had left on it. Gon gasped for breath, opening his eyes as the brightness of the skylight made him feel overwhelmingly blind. Biscuit hurried over, throwing her arms around Gon, “Oh, thank goodness!”

Killua also rushed over, helping Gon sit up so that he could breathe better. Gon coughed and sputtered, a bit of blood coming up as he cleared his throat. The most important parts had already healed, but his voice was gone for a short while. During this time Killua and Biscuit cried, hugging him, and asking him so many questions. Gon smiled in between coughs, his own tears falling freely.

Gon felt so thankful, so happy to be back, and he did not care if he had nen anymore. He did nothing to see if it worked, and instead he nuzzled into Killua’s shirt, breathing much softer now, calming himself down so that he could speak, “I love you Killua…”

“I love you too.” Killua cried, pressing his face into Gon’s head, and nuzzling into him.

The smaller teen let out a more calm breath, closing his eyes, “I’m sorry for all of this, I was being so selfish, I can’t believe I thought this was a good idea.”

“Gon, you’re alive, you literally beat death! You don’t have to apologize, just let us be glad that you're back!” Biscuit told the boy.

With that they sat in a relieved state of bliss, all just talking quietly and generally just happy to have each other once again. 

Hisoka, however, seemed to be growing impatient, almost beginning to fight with the guards. Gon could hear him calling for him, knowing that he probably also felt worried about the boy. He did not have the energy to do much of anything, and his throat was so sore from the forced healing. He let out another shaky breath, as he knew that things were going to get messy again. He looked up towards Killua, voice small, “Are you ready?”

“I don’t think it matters.” Killua told the boy, smiling weakly.

Biscuit spoke up, “Come on, let’s teach this clown not to mess with us.”


	23. Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon is trying to stop the potential war that is brewing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not feeling the best today, and tomorrow I have finals so I am trying to be calm about it haha. Wish me luck!   
> Thank you to Jess_Alexa_Corruption! Your comment made me laugh, I loved it!  
> Thank you to Olivelove! I am also on the edge of my seat!  
> Thank you to Daisong_Hues! As always your comment made me feel much better, and now I've added some fan service for youuu!  
> Thank you to Sailoru, as opinions are always important and valid!  
> Thank you Rxx! I'm glad you like my story!  
> Thank you Jhh88! You made me smile also!  
> And finally, thank you to Atom1050! I'm glad you enjoy my attempt at character development!

It took a while for Gon to be able to sit up right, and even longer for him to be able to stand up. Gon just felt odd. He became so aware of his own lungs, which took in air in a bit of a strained way, and the way that his heart had made an effort to continue beating. He could feel it all, it was like everything was restarted, which in all truth it really was. Even his brain felt a bit foggy, like he had taken the longest nap in the world. He rubbed his eyes a bit, trying to focus them despite the fact that it would do very little. 

He struggled to coordinate his steps in order to make it down the long staircase, but with Killua’s help he was soon on level ground once again. Then his eyes met Hisoka’s, who was looking past the guards and smiling in such a way at the teen. Gon’s heart leapt, guilt fogging his brain even more, that genuine smile burning a fire within his soul. He could barely make it to the entrance, anticipation making it almost impossible to breathe. He could faint at any moment, the idea that going through all of this could end in such a drastic war made him want to stop, want everyone to be friends, want to be able to live and love whoever he pleased whenever he pleased without judgement from others outside of the relationship. The way Hisoka’s eyes twinkled, relief filling his features, it killed Gon on the inside, and made him feel so small and dirty. He felt like his own smile was a lie, he was going to make Hisoka hurt so much, and he felt as though he had no right to do so.

Then it came to him, like a waterfall over a river. His brain melted like ice, and his voice was small, filled with finality, “Killua, can I keep my promise first?”

“What do you mean?” Killua asked in a soft whispered tone, his eyebrows furrowing even more, “What promise?”

“When Hisoka saved me, I promised to fight him one day. I promised a lot of things, but that was the most important to both of us.” Gon replied in a hushed tone.

“You can’t possibly think you’re ready to fight anyone in your current condition, don’t be stupid.” Killua practically hissed.

Gon let out a shaky breath, then gained his usually determined look, “No, not yet. But in a few months maybe. I will fight him, and then we can run away. That way I can keep my promise.”

“No, absolutely not.” Killua glared at Gon, not believing his own ears.

“It’ll be more peaceful, and I won’t have to destroy Hisoka’s life to do it that way.” Gon told Killua, eyes glued on the clown now.

“He’s destroying your life!” Killua couldn’t help but raise his voice now, filling with anger for the other teen, “I can’t believe you would throw away everything we are trying to do, just to appease him! He took advantage of you! He hurt you!”

Gon did not reply, his eyes fell to the floor, his heart racing. He felt even more faint, his focus was entirely on his consciousness. He tried to breathe in, but it was so hard. He wanted to love them both, as they both gave him things that he needed to be happy. He could not have both, but he did not want to break his promises. He wanted to finish what he had started with Hisoka, to thank him for all of the help, then he wanted to finish his life with Killua, and travel with him, like they had talked about so many times. It all felt impossible. 

Killua grabbed Gon’s hand, holding it firmly, “You’re probably just being stupid because you’re still dazed. Just listen to us, and come with me.”

Gon did not reply, he simply tightened his grip onto Killua’s hand. Killed smiled at that, speaking softly once more, trying to keep his temper down, “Don’t worry you’ll be safe soon, and then you can think a lot more clearer. It’ll all work out, I promise.”

_ Will it _ , Gon wondered, as he was not sure. Finally, they reached the hallway where Hisoka and Illumi stood. Illumi seemed to be staring at Killua, his eyes unreadable, but different than usual. He seemed to be suspecting something, but it was impossible to tell what he could be thinking. Hisoka’s eyes still remained rather relieved looking, his smile never fading, not even when he saw that Gon was holding Killua’s hand. His voice was soft, much softer than Gon had ever heard it, “Are you alright,  _ my little apple? _ ”

Gon nodded slowly, though he knew he was bad at lying. His face was an open book, one that simply said that something was wrong, so he just hoped that Hisoka would mistake it for something relating to his resurrection. Hisoka held out his hand, speaking softly, “ _ You look rather tired _ , we should start to go back home.  _ I’ll get some of those noodles you like so much _ .”

Killua stepped between them, glaring at the man. Hisoka did not waver, his hand still extended, but his voice low, “ _ Gon _ needs rest.”

“Right. That’s why he’s going with me.” Killua told the man rather boldly, “He’ll never be able to rest with you ruling his every move.”

“Killu-” Illumi tried to talk sense into his brother, but Killlua cut him off.

“Don’t talk to me like that! You know I’m right!” Killua yelled.

“We made a deal, we are overstepping our boundaries!” Illumi told his brother, his tone becoming serious and rather scolding.

Biscuit now moved from beside Gon, standing at attention, “Gon needs to be with people who care about him!”

Hisoka got a familiar look on his face, the feeling of his nen making Gon shiver, and step back. Biscuit's words had obviously struck a nerve, the man’s face contorting into an evil smirk, “Do you really think I do not care for  _ my Gon _ ? After all I’ve done for him.”

“You’ve only taken advantage of him!” Killua yelled.

Gon found himself covering his ears with his hands now, his body beginning to shake horribly. He did not want to hear anymore, he wanted the fighting to end, he wanted to escape this. He wanted everyone to calm down and go home like normal. He wanted to eat those noodles, and take a nap and maybe a bath later. He did not want all of this. 

_ But, it is too late _ , he told himself, tears falling down his face, _ it’s all my fault. _


	24. Loss and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka feels like he is about to loose it, and Illumi surrenders himself to being the hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! That first final has my head all frazzled out! I don't think I did quite as well on it as I normally would, but it should be fine. Got one more then I'm done until autumn, so yay more free time! Anyway, this chapter is kinda filled with current emotions, and suddenly the story has a open path for like ten more chapters if I want to keep it going that long, we'll see! Also I finished Fire Force yesterday, and now I'm watching Beastars and it seems very awesome! 
> 
> Thank you to Daisong_Hues! I'm glad to give you something to read during these times haha! Also I always call myself a firework writer, so I like to keep things going, or interesting, so that the chapters feel like episodes of a television show, I'm not sure where I picked that up from, but I've always been that way! I think you'll love this one!  
> Thank you to Jhh88! I'm not sure what this chapter will do for you!

The world became white noise around him, bitter feelings rising to the surface, his hunger for murder returning rather suddenly. The way that damned teenager shoved his property behind him, as though the magician would hurt him, that felt hurtful, uncalled for. He had done so much for them, helping them get to this point,  _ but now I’m the villain? Since when _ ?  _ Who decided that one of the protagonists of this story would be one of the final roadblocks _ , Hisoka’s lips flattened, eyes burning a hole into Killua’s head, _ how dare they make my Gon decide right after dying, this isn’t the time for this _ .

_ They’re taking away our happily ever after _ , Hisoka said in his mind, his eyes now softening as they went to Gon, who stood so small, crying,  _ how dare they do this to you _ . Then his glare returned to Killua, his fists balling, and his eyebrows furrowing more, “Do you really think I do not care for  _ my Gon _ ? After all I’ve done for him.”

“You’ve only taken advantage of him!” Killua yelled.

That was it, the trigger, Hisoka could not hear anymore, his bloodlust, which he had hid so well, finally freed itself from the chains he had managed to trap it in. He found himself stabbing into his own palms, trying so hard not to do something everyone would regret, but it was getting to be too late, how he wanted to rip them to shreds and take Gon far away, somewhere where they would never be found, where he could heal and live peacefully without the drama of Killua Zoldyck. 

His voice came out low, aimed at Illumi as a bit of a warning, “Either you stop this, or I will.”

Illumi began to grow desperate, he did not know what to do. He usually had a plan for such things, but Hisoka was already too far to stop, and Killua was standing his ground like never before. He felt his blood run cold, his face actually filling with panic for the first time ever. He then found himself moving, his mind being made for him, as he threw his arms around Hisoka, holding him firmly in place as his voice called out, “Killu hurry, I can’t hold him here forever!”

Killua almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing, but he knew better than to stare dumbly at the scene before him, and instead he turned and scooped Gon up bridal style into his arms. Then he ran past them, Biscuit close behind. Soon they made it outside, the sunlight almost blinding to the teen. He had no time to stop and adjust, he kept running, and running, until he had disappeared into the forest. 

Hisoka stood, his teeth clenched, and his hands only cutting deeper into themselves. He glared back at Illumi, his golden eyes filled with a variety of emotions they usually never genuinely had. Hurt, remorse, anguish, all festering in those eyes of his. Illumi knew he had messed up, but part of him stopped caring, his face returning to a more relaxed one, his voice low, “What will you do? I can’t let you hurt my brother.”

Hisoka did not reply at first, and he actually waited a moment before he simply demanded to be let go of. Illumi, knowing that his brother was already far away, let go as he was told to do. With his arms free, Hisoka stepped towards the nearest wall, butting his head against it, again and again, cursing to himself over and over. Illumi had to avert his gaze, unable to watch this weird form of mourning that Hisoka was displaying. Again and again he heard a sickening noise erupt from the other man as he bashed his skull against the tree, and the tree itself drank the blood that covered the roots. He kept cursing, and hitting himself, and cursing. 

Illumi knew that something bad was brewing now, and he felt like he had made the best choice to protect his family. He finally managed to look at Hisoka, who had almost scrapped his head to the bone by how hard he had been hitting it. He remembered that Hisoka’s face was rather numb from when he had died a while ago, so he likely just kept going until he felt something, anything, that wasn’t anger. 

Then finally he stopped, his head aimed upwards, almost impossible to see in the dark that had filled the tunnel. His voice was shaky, a breath of air that he almost did not want to take,  _ “Illumi I want to kill him so bad, I hope you know that. I want to rip his bones out. One by one until he feels the pain he’s put me through _ .”

Illumi stepped closer despite himself, wrapping his arms around the man once again, but in a more comforting way, “I think it’s best to return to your apartment, alright?”

“I don’t want to without Gon.” Hisoka told the man numbly. 

“I will do whatever I can to make up for that, just know that I cannot have you hurting Killua. Not today, not ever.” Illumi tried to sound reasonable despite the feelings that festered inside of him.

“I will kill you too.” Hisoka replied, although he made no move to do so, and instead he began to lean his weight on the slimmer man, eyes half closed, tired even, “I will make you pay for what you have done.”

Illumi instinctively pet Hisoka’s hair, trying to not wince when he saw the blood that was beginning to cover his chest, “It’s alright.”

“No…” Hisoka muttered stubbornly, then he slipped his eyes closed, “I miss him already.”

“I know.” Illumi again cooed, holding them in place now as Hisoka faded from consciousness. 

His eyes caught onto the needle he had stabbed into Hisoka’s neck, glad that he had done that as it had helped the magician calm down enough to sleep. So carefully, and with a lot of effort, he positioned Hisoka onto his back and began the long walk back to Yorknew, hoping that Killua would find somewhere far away to hide until this all blew over. Although he did not agree with what happened, he knew it was for the better, and he promised to make it up to both sides when everything calmed down. That was the best he could do.

Killua had ran for miles, and when dark fell he finally found himself stopping by the ocean. That was where he set up camp for the night, Gon having fallen asleep long before their arrival. He unpacked the remaining tents, which were the ones that had from the previous nights, and tucked Gon into one before he went to work starting a fire. Biscuit sat by him, her eyes filled with worry and various thoughts, “Why would your brother help us like that? I thought you said that he was just as bad as Hisoka?”

“Usually he is. That was a very rare moment for him.” Killua replied in a flat tone, obviously still reeling from the whole ordeal, “Usually he would have helped capture us, likely he would have killed you and took me home with him. He must have sensed a lot of danger, and figured that my life would only be spared if he took on Hisoka himself.”

“Well, at least he cares for you.” Biscuit told the boy, her eyes growing sad, “He just has a strange way of showing it.”

That made Killua’s insides burn. He felt that guilt fill him again, the image of rain dripped into his mind, the distant clatter of thunder, and the warm embrace of his big brother wrapped around him. That short hair always cut into his mind like the scissors had cut into Illumi’s hair, and the way his eyes seemed so empty after that incident, he found his hand covering his forehead where the needle that Illumi had implanted in him once lived. He never understood his brother, but he knew that life had been unfair towards the both of them. That was likely why he had tried so hard to give him a chance, but their relationship ultimately felt wrong. He belonged with Gon, and Illumi, well, he needed to find someone else to belong to. Someone to love him for who he was, and not because of blood relations. 

Biscuit noticed Killua’s hand on his forehead, but she did not understand the significance of it. She gave him a confused look before she stood, heading towards the forest, “I’m going to keep a look out tonight, you two need plenty of rest for the morning.”

“Are you sure?” Killua managed to ask.

“Yeah.” She nodded, already partially in the darkness, “I’ll come wake you up when the sun starts to rise, alright?”

“Okay.” Killua agreed, as his body felt pretty exhausted and he had no way of knowing how long he would be able to stay up like this.

Then Biscuit was in the woods, leaving Gon and Killua alone. Killua would spend most of the night thinking about the past year, then fall asleep once he had Gon in his arms once again. Vowing to never let him go no matter what. For once things seemed to be working out for them.

_ It’s okay _ , he told himself,  _ everything is okay _ .


	25. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua realizes what day it is, and Illumi changes his mind once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was gone for a few days, I've had the strangest headaches known to mankind and I couldn't look at my computer for more than a few minutes of time! So sorry! To make up for this I made an extremely action packed fluff filled chapter, so hopefully that'll help haha! I realized that it was getting pretty close to someone's birthday, so I kinda felt like it was only right to have a bit of a celebration within the text, so enjoy!
> 
> Thank you to thor94, I just want to apologize that you've had to wait for so long for any BDSM type content, I just had very little opportunity to add it as of late, but I think the next chapter should be able to squeeze something in in a big bang sort of thing. 
> 
> Thank you to Jhh88! 
> 
> Thank you to Atom1050! I am trash at taking tests, so they were meh at best, however, I do not think I have failed anything so yay! Thank you so much for being involved with me, I appreciate every little comment you leave. I am again sorry that you had to wait for this one, but I hope the stuff in it makes up for it.

The next few days were nothing, a blackhole had opened and swallowed all happiness around them, his clothes and his possessions torn to shreds, everything that he had left had to be destroyed, everything except one. The stupid green jacket, which the man had tucked away for safe keeping, now clutched tight to his form as he laid curled in bed. Everything was gone, everything but that jacket, and now the scent of Gon consumed him as he nuzzled his face into the soft fabric. He was never one to mourn, but today it felt like Gon had died, and he could not handle the pain that coursed through his heart when he thought like that. 

Illumi, the traitor, had come in a few times, trying to prompt Hisoka to get up, eat, maybe drink some tea. Every time Hisoka reminded him how lucky he was that he was still allowed to live, letting him feel the gravity of his decision to destroy the one thing in Hisoka’s life that he was certain of. Being a creature of lust, Hisoka had lived a life of extreme pleasures and risk taking, but Gon was the final thing he had wanted, the ultimate pleasure in his life. Sure Illumi had been a source of happiness, but his reluctance was different, more denial than anything. The burning stares Gon would give Hisoka, mixed with his spirited nature really was the cataclysm that breathed life into the magician. Now he was gone. 

He had never felt the party end quite like this, each balloon was popped, and the streamers caught fire. The castle Gon had built with him had burned to the ground, and now only Illumi and Killua stood in the ashes. Gon died in that fire, yes, or else he would have come back to him by now, he told him that he loved him, and Gon never lied to him.

Instead of rampaging, like Illumi had feared, Hisoka stayed in his bedroom, not talking to him for the most part. Illumi felt bad, which was surprising to the assassin. He had tried a lot of things to get Hisoka out of bed, tried to even seduce him once or twice in the week, but nothing had changed much of anything. He knew an explosion was coming, but he feared what would happen during such a reaction. He figured that the clown would destroy him, killing him to make up for his tremendous grief, but he hadn’t made an attempt, and instead he felt like something else was brewing, something he could not imagine. So, he played housewife, keeping an eye on the man, and turning down any offers from clients, even if they meant he could escape. He hadn’t worked an assassination contract in almost a year, another few months would mean very little to his reputation or bank account, so he did not mind sticking around, and keeping an eye on the other man. 

He reached up, tugging on his long hair mindfully, remembering the last time Hisoka had tugged on it. Sometimes having alliances brought pain to people, and now he felt it more than ever. A thought surfaced in his brain, his fingers tangling in the long strands as he thought, a memory coming to light that he often tried everything to forget. He would do anything to make it up to Hisoka, maybe it was time to prove that?

Gon had been a bit different lately, acting sober to the point where his smiles were rare, and his personality sort of receded into a more monotone and thoughtful one. Killua had tried a lot of things to bring him around, but Gon had again and again told him that he was a liar now, and he felt so extremely guilty because of it. His nen had been restored, but he did not use it, saying that it was meant to keep the people around him safe and happy, and that he had failed on the latter part. 

Tonight, they were in a hotel again, which was better than in the woods, but Gon still just sort of sat by himself, his eyes in a whole other world. Killua knew part of this was from his death, as coming back had taken a toll on his body, but the rest of it was from his supposed broken promises. Killua tried to give him space, but he felt horrible doing so, as this was supposed to be the start of a new chapter in their lives, yet, he left the hotel room and began to go on an impromptu walk, his cellphone clutched in his hand in case of emergencies. 

He walked rather aimlessly, still becoming accustomed to the city that they had decided to live in, his eyes peeking into window displays. It was night, so they were lit up in a pleasing way, some had clothes, some had other items for purchase. He looked at his phone momentarily, as he felt it buzz, and he saw that he had gotten a message. He opened it, finding it to be from Illumi, he stopped, squinting at the text, _ Hisoka has not changed _ . 

Killua had a feeling that the man would be this stubborn, but he had no idea just how long he would pretend he loved Gon,  _ so what, it’s not going to change anything _ , he replied back.

He stood still now, his eyes now going up to the clock on the screen. Then his eyes widened, he had not realized the date until now, it was Gon’s birthday.  _ Shit, how stupid can I be, _ he wondered in awe, not believing how dense he had been in the past few days. It was nearing summer, he should have known, but now he stood rather dumbfounded. He knew that he would have to hurry to make up for this, and so he sprung into action, eyes scanning the shops for the perfect gift. Then his quickened pace ceased, his eyes glued on a particular store. A soft smile began to form on his face.

Illumi stared at his phone for a long time, then he typed a quick,  _ maybe you should reconsider your actions, at least let them say goodbye _ , then he sat down the device. He continued to do as he had previously, the sound of scissors closing making him wince everytime. He felt dirty, the hair falling to the ground with each cut, his shoulders itchy from the loose hairs that stuck there. 

One, two, three, he looked like a teenager again with his short hair, like he had when his parents had forced this style on him. It wasn’t the most even style, but it was acceptable enough, so he undressed and stepped into the shower to rinse off anything that still clung to him. He made sure to use the soap that Hisoka had Gon use, this was his last ditch effort to calm the man down, before he did something unthinkable. He did not like the scent of lavender, but it would be a new him, and that was something he would get used to for Hisoka’s sake. He finished up, and stepped out, pulling a towel over his thin frame. He stepped over the mess on the floor, and into the hall. He did not get dressed, and instead went straight into Hisoka’s bedroom, hair pulled up into a towel to hide what he had done for now. His voice came out, it was so much softer than he had tried to make it, his brain making him act in such a way, “Hisoka, I feel like we need to talk.”

Hisoka glanced back, his face having been pressed into the jacket he had been cherishing. He seemed a little bewildered by Illumi’s appearance, as the man had never just walked around in a towel before. He actually spoke to him, his tone rather condescending, “ _ That’s an interesting outfit Illu, suits you well enough I suppose _ .”

Illumi walked over quietly, climbing onto the bed as he had. Hisoka sat up a bit, moving away a little to give the other man the entire right side of the bed. Illumi smiled a little, trying to keep up his more sweet act, then slowly he took one of Hisoka’s hands, moving it up to the towel on his head, “I wanted to prove my loyalty to you, I hope you do not mind.”

Hisoka frowned deeply, his eyes narrowing, “If you wanted to prove that you were loyal you would not have let Gon leave.”

“I’m sorry.” Illumi said, as it was all that he could say on the matter.

He had Hisoka’s fingers grasp at the towel, then spoke again, “Pull it off.”

Hisoka seemed curious now, and he sat up to get a better angle. Slowly he pulled the covering off, a gasp leaving him once he saw what the other man had done to himself. There were a mix of emotions on his face, from anger to sadness to guilt. Each emotion was new to Illumi, having never really seen Hisoka react to anything in that way. He wondered if he had done something wrong, and part of him braced for death. However, Hisoka’s voice was quick to shut down any fears the man had about his actions, “ _ Illu, your hair, it’s gone. What did you do? You love your hair. _ ”

“It's not as important.” Illumi muttered, even though the feeling of the hair on his neck made him regret it just a bit, “Your happiness is my priority right now, as I have a lot of apologizing to do. I hope you accept my sacrifice.”

Hisoka now sat on his knees, his hands now feeling the rough edges on Illumi’s cropped hair. He had cut it all the way to his shoulders, which was very short compared to how it had grown. He seemed panicked by it, the way he almost seemed to want it to grow when he tugged onto it a bit, like he could not believe it. Illumi allowed him to touch it as much as he pleased, his eyes empty and downcast. It felt horrible, shame filling his senses as he felt every little tug. Hisoka’s eyes pried at his soul, but still it felt like he had to do it, to prove himself to the other man. Then Hisoka stopped pulling, his fingernails gently grazing up and down the man’s spine, “I… I can’t believe you’ve done this.”

“It felt necessary. It has already gotten you back from your slump.” Illumi replied, his eyes going half closed from the comforting feeling on Hisoka’s touches.

“ _ It’s certainly something _ .” Hisoka told him, then he smiled a little, as though he was trying to make Illumi feel better, “ _ Since when were you the spontaneous one? _ ”

“Since we’ve been friends, I guess.” Illumi admitted, never having called them friends before now. 

Hisoka’s surprise melted into a wider grin, and he moved one of his hands to brace the man’s chin, pulling it up and toward his own, pressing their lips together. After a soft kiss, he pulled back and began to get up, “I should help you straighten it out a bit, it’s a little messy in the bangs, then…” He clapped his hands together, a spark filling his tired eyes, “ _ We will go find those brats, huh? _ ”

Illumi smiled a bit more, also standing up, “Sure, just promise not to fight Killua.”

“ _ Oh, no, of course not. _ ” Hisoka scoffed,  _ “Gon needs to keep his promises, even if we have to make him. One more fight, and I will feel much better. _ ”

Illumi nodded, and he went for the bathroom to let Hisoka fix his hair. Everything was looking up in their next chapter of life.

Gon stared blankly at the ceiling, his heart beating slow but his brain buzzing. He barely reacted when he heard the door to the room open, his eyes only shooting down to make sure it was Killua. It certainly was, he had his hair pulled up in a ponytail, and with him were a few shopping bags. This piqued Gon’s interest, so the boy sat up, eyes big with wonder, “What you got there?”

“Some stuff for you.” Killua replied with a sweet smile, his steps directly aiming towards Gon, and his body sitting on their shared bed. 

Gon crawled over, sitting on the edge with his boyfriend with a soft expression. He seemed sleepy, but at least awake enough for his little birthday celebration. Killua wondered if Gon had even remembered that he was turning seventeen today, but he figured he would remember really fast. He sat a few of the bags by Gon, keeping one by his feet, then he began to go through one of them, his voice light against the teen’s ear, “I hope you’re in the mood for sweets.”

Gon’s eyes widened once the store bought cake was revealed, a large smile filling his features, “You got me a cake? Wait!” He looked surprised, “Today’s May 5th? My birthday?”

“Yep, happy birthday you goober.” Killua laughed softly, pressing a soft kiss to the teen’s head. 

Gon began to grow more and more excited, watching as Killua showed him everything he got him, from a few new outfits, to a new stuffed animal, which was a panda bear, and a new pair of boots for the coming months as his pair was beginning to get torn up from their traveling. Each gift was met with oohs and ahhs, Gon loving each and every one. Then the last gift stood unopened, almost ignored as Killua went to fetch some plates for them to eat the cake on. Gon asked about it, and Killua simply told him to wait, so he listened despite the burning curiosity in his heart. 

Killua and Gon ate their cake, goofing around as they did so. Neither of them had been so lively since they had run from Hisoka and Illumi, and genuinely they both felt sort of bad about the whole thing, however, they, for the moment, felt overjoyed to have one another without someone being in the way. 

Then the cake had been eaten, the leftovers placed into the small fridge in the room, Killua returning to Gon and picking up the small bag. He spoke to the boy in a soft tone, his eyes sparkling with excitement, “Okay, close your eyes.”

Gon did so with no complaints, covering them with his hands. So Killua took position, pulling out the gift and kneeling on one knee, then his voice gently asked, “Gon? How would you feel about marrying me?”

Gon’s face twisted in curiosity, hands still on his eyes, “I planned on it, why?”

“ _ Look at me, honey _ .” Killua cooed, and once Gon’s hands lowered and his eyes caught onto the scene, he smiled wide, pushing the small box towards the other boy, opening it as he had, “Will you marry me?”


	26. A solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon makes a decision, and Illumi also makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me just say, some kinky sauce is definitely up ahead. I wasn't planning on it being this kinky, but here we are being dirty souls, all of us should be ashamed, or maybe not haha. So I had an Idea for the next story that will be written once this one has ended, let me know what you think, it'll be below the thank you's. Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Thank you to Jhh88, no need to worry about me, but thank you for doing so!   
> Thank you to bricksandbones! Illumi is certainly working on that happy ending!  
> Thank you to Atom1050! You always make me smile with your comments, thank you for the encouraging words I really appreciate it! I imagine Illumi having a cute as fuck haircut, so I imagine anyone would like it haha. 
> 
> Next story idea:  
> Gon has started his first year of college, being seventeen years old and coming from a small farming community, his family paid out the ass to bring him to a huge university for him to be able to follow his dreams of becoming an actor. He has a new cast of roommates, Killua, Shalnark, Kurapika, and Leorio (Maybe one will be added to balance out the spiders). A murder happens on campus, and seeing that many people are freaked out, Gon takes it upon himself to investigate the gruesome happenings. His prime suspect being the teacher over the theater department, Hisoka Morow. So he finds himself investigating the teacher that is most involved in his studies while finding himself wrapped up in a world he had not imagined could even exist. (This story would be very much filled with various sexual themes and other things such as the sort, but I imagine it could also have some sweet slice of life stuff which I've been kinda trying to be better at.)

Gon’s eyes widened, those words echoing in his head over and over again. He found himself with blurry vision, and soon realized that he was crying. He quickly erased the tears, a large and thoughtful smile filling his face as those happy tears fell, “K-Killua, I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Is that a yes, or are you going to keep me waiting?” Killua stuck out his tongue playfully.

“Of course it’s a yes.” Gon weeped, holding out one hand for Killua to take.

The older teen took it happily, sliding the simple, yet, beautiful topaz ring onto the boy’s finger. It fit perfectly, which only made Gon’s emotions hit harder. Once the ring was fully on, Killua stood and hugged onto his small fiance, giving him multiple loving pecks on his face, kissing away those pesky tears that had fallen. Gon giggled lightly, relief beginning to wash over him for once. He had almost forgotten the debt he still owed, this moment just too perfect to think about such things. 

Killua held Gon close to him now, sitting with him on his lap. He pet his head, humming softly as he stared at the door, always expecting the happiness to end so abruptly. Nothing came for now, but he still felt like anything was possible, even with Illumi on their side. As he had soon realized during certain text conversations, that Illumi had actually felt something for the clown, always pleading with the teen to change his mind and letting Gon fulfill his promises. He never intended on letting that happen, but he knew that even Gon would be bringing it back up after this distraction had ended. But, now Gon was his, the ring served to prove it. 

Gon spoke up after a long moment, as the weight of the world came back down onto him, his eyes glued onto the ring as he spoke his mind, “Once I finish this thing with Hisoka, I want to move far away, where we can get married and live for awhile. I don’t ever want to think about him again.”

Then finally, he felt his resolve melt, his heart stopping momentarily, “Gon, you have to promise me that you’ll only want to pay this debt off, and nothing more. No more deals, or promises to Hisoka, just a fight or whatever.”

“I promise.” Gon nodded, surprised by Killua’s lack of argumentation, “You just need to make sure he doesn’t try to take me away, other than that, I plan on fighting him and getting rid of any loose ends.”

Killua let out a soft sigh, nuzzling his face into Gon’s hair, “Fine then. I just need you to practice, alright? You’ve barely used your nen since you’ve regained it, and I don’t think you’ll be able to defend yourself yet.”

“Alright, then you’ll be my teacher!” Gon squeaked up at the boy, looking to be filled with determination. 

Despite the feeling in his stomach, Killua smiled back, reaching for his phone to simply tell Illumi,  _ fine, he’ll be ready to fight in a few months, wait until then _ .

Illumi looked at his phone for a moment, Hisoka was working carefully to fix his hair and make it lay a bit more evenly, so he held his phone up for him to read. Hisoka’s smile grew even more, his aura changing almost immediately to a more dangerous one. He had to stand back for a moment, so he wouldn’t hurt Illumi as he worked through his emotions, “ _ Ah, how exciting, my bones are simply aching for that last battle! _ ”

Illumi placed his phone back onto the counter. He knew that the fight would not be the end of it, but it was definitely a good start, as he was planning on working for the next few months to capture Hisoka’s attention, prove himself worthy of his eye. 

Hisoka returned to Illumi’s hair now, brushing his fingers through it. He was excited, he could feel Hisoka’s erection pressing against his back. Fighting had always done this to him, so Illumi decided not to feel too jealous. Instead, he chose to take advantage of it, leaning his weight into it, “I see that the idea has already made you quite ready.”

Hisoka shifted himself, rubbing himself on his back a bit, “ _ Ah, yes, I think I’ll explode with excitement _ .”

“I can always help with that.” Illumi said in his flat tone.

That made Hisoka intake a hot breath, and let it out slowly, never really expecting Illumi to try and sound sexy,  _ but hell if he didn’t _ . Hisoka almost couldn’t believe Illumi’s movements when he turned in his chair, his hands on the other man’s hips as his void-like eyes stared up at him. The slow, yet, deliberate movements almost made Hisoka freeze in place, his eyes wide as he watched. Now his cock was freed to the cool air of the room, his erection pressed against the other man’s lips as he hummed against the delicate flesh. Hisoka let out another hot breath as Illumi pushed his head down, taking the man’s cock deep into his throat. Already those lips were puffing up, reddening from the friction. Hisoka watched, mesmerized. 

The clown had to brace himself against the wall behind him, his hips pressed forward for Illumi to have complete access. He could tell that the other man had his dominant energy about him, so he knew that being in the way was unwise, and instead he would let Illumi make the decisions for the time being. 

Illumi moved his body now, finding his short hair much easier to work with as it did not stick to as many things as his longer hair had done. He hoped that doing this would allow Hisoka to know that he was there for him, that he was doing his best to show his devotion, his love.  _ Wait, love _ , such a strange thing to think, _ do I love Hisoka? _ He could never tell. He certainly loved Killua, but he knew he was not in love with him, so was he in love with Hisoka? Why was he so insistent on proving himself to the clown? He hummed against the man’s cock, sliding it out with a hearty popping noise, his hand rubbing it in the absence of his mouth, his eyes glued to his face. _ I do feel something pleasant when looking at him _ .

Then Illumi put his cock back into his mouth, again sliding it in as far as it would go, his brain filled with thoughts and questions as he moved. He again pulled it all the way out, making Hisoka’s knees almost buckle, his breathy moan bringing Illumi back to the situation. He smiled to himself, speaking in his even tone, “Go lay down, I will meet you there.”

Hisoka nodded, hurrying out of the room with a quick, “ _ Don’t make me wait too long, Illu _ .”

He had not planned on it, although he now took a bit longer than first intended, as it was his way of teasing the other man. His smile grew a bit as he checked his hair, then began for the bedroom, his voice becoming lower, “ _ Hisoka, I want something _ .”

Hisoka sat up on his elbows, having climbed onto the bed like he had been told, “ _ What is it? _ ”

“Do not take mercy on me. I deserve whatever you wish to throw at me.” Illumi told him, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“ _ You say that as though I hold back _ .” Hisoka purred, although his eyes had narrowed a bit, seriousness filling them.

“I know that you do. I can see it in your eyes when you fuck me. You never go past a certain threshold, you always hold back.” Illumi muttered, laying back onto the mattress, “You never want to break your toys, but I promise  _ you will not break me _ .”

Hisoka gained a wicked smile, his eyes becoming filled with lust, “ _ Fine, you’ll get what you ask for. _ ”

Then in a blink of an eye, Hisoka began to move, all it took were a few seconds and soon Illumi was splayed out onto the bed, his arms tied up with bungee gum, holding him against the bed frame, his legs being the only thing remaining free. His arms were held so tight he could already feel bruises forming on them, his pale flesh aching from the contact, but his cock standing up from the burning pain. He had never considered himself a masochist, but now he saw what such stimulation had done to his body, and he couldn’t really deny the effects. 

Hisoka moved over to his dresser now, pulling out various things he had yet to use on anyone. He returned soon, pressing something into Illumi’s mouth, forcing him to open it. It was like a gag, but he could feel air in his mouth. He wondered what it was, and Hisoka was not explaining anything, all that he knew was that he could not close his mouth thanks to it. Then Hisoka moved to be on top of the defenseless man, in his hands a leather strap. Hisoka leaned over his form, and soon it was tied around his throat, clipped in a way that Illumi would have trouble removing on his own once he was free. Hisoka’s voice made him realize why, “ _ It is to prove that you are mine, never take it off without permission, understand? _ ”

Illumi nodded, unable to say anything thanks to the brace in his mouth, so Hisoka got back to work, prepping the other man for a full performance. Then finally, he angled himself over the other, lifting his legs up and pressing them against his body, his knees on his collarbones. Illumi felt embarrassed by the position, making noises of protest, but that just riled up Hisoka even more, his face now in the most indecent place as he licked up the helpless man’s shaft. 

Illumi’s back arched a bit, a gasp leaving him quite easily, the device in his mouth making it impossible to hide noises in his throat. Each lick and small nibble made Illumi’s noises reach a peak, a crescendo of pleasure. Hisoka loved the noises, his movements becoming more and more unforgiving, his fingers digging into the man’s hips, also threatening to bruise thanks to the pure pressure of them. Then he sat up, his tongue hanging out of his mouth in an deviant way, his eyes glazed over with pure excitement, “ _ So delicious, Illumi you taste so sweet when you’re tied up and helpless. _ ”

Illumi let out a noise of protest, his eyebrows furrowed, as though to say,  _ shut up, just do me already _ . Hisoka chuckled with that thought, releasing one hand from the man’s hip and using it to slap his thigh. The stinging from the sudden contact made the other man’s eyes shoot open, his back arching in response. Then Hisoka moved his hand down even more, beginning to prod Illumi’s opening with a few fingers, “ _ So tight, I forgot how long it’s been. I should waste no time in destroying you. _ ”

Illumi again made a noise that equated to a simple,  _ shut up, _ but was quick to take it back with a sharp inhale as Hisoka’s fingers shot into him. He moaned out, unable to keep it inside, the fingers moving in scissoring-like motions and pressing up into places that sent pleasurable vibrations throughout the man’s body. 

Hisoka could not take his eyes off of his prize, his gaze filled with pinkened flesh and hot breaths. He had never seen Illumi like this, such a mess. He usually hid this so well, but with the inclusion of various items that made him completely helpless, it was like a whole new man had been born. A fragile man, the princess of his family, one who cut their hair like he had been broken up with. He was a new man, that much was certain, and Hisoka would never let him return to Illumi, he would forever be his Illu.

Moving quickly, Hisoka tugged out his fingers and replaced them with his hard cock, pushing it in entirely, his voice a low growl, “ _ I want you to never forget how this feels _ .”

Illumi screamed with pleasure, his eyes welling up with tears as strange thoughts began to circle in his mind.  _ Stop, I look so dirty, please stop, it feels too good _ , his brain screamed, his mouth unable to ask for such breaks and decencies. 

The pain that ripped through him, along with Hisoka’s grunts, and the way the sounds of their flesh hitting against one another lewdly, it all drove Illumi mad. He arched his back one last time, his body reaching climax much sooner than ever before. It covered his stomach, and yet, Hisoka did not stop, and instead forced himself to go faster, his hands now clawing into the man’s chest, marking him with cuts. Illumi felt dizzy, his body unable to make sense of the pleasure that now filled him. Instead of screaming stop, his mind screamed,  _ more, please, I want to be filthy, please _ . 

Then Hisoka thrusted one more time, this one making a loud echoey slapping noise as he spilled his seed into the other man, a few smaller movements sort of milked himself into him until he had ridden out his end and filled him entirely. When he had finished, his powers had released Illumi, but he made no movements to be released like he normally would, and instead he laid there, his arms weakly wrapping around the mass above him. He could barely see, the pleasure having dazed him entirely, but he managed to relax despite the confusion welling up inside of him.

Hisoka let out a breathy chuckle, his eyes half lidded, “I think I like this new you,  _ Illu _ .”

Then they laid in breathy silence, the echoes of their past actions having faded with the night. 


	27. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon tries to settle things with Hisoka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we near the final chapter, I felt that certain things could never be finished, as I think characters having goals after the story ends should be something to celebrate! I loved writing this one!
> 
> Thank you to Jhh88! This chapter should make you happy!  
> Thank you to Atom1050! Your ideas will surely help once I begin the next story, which is very soon!

Months had passed without incident. Biscuit had taken to the road, telling the boys that she had things to do, although she again made sure to congratulate them on the upcoming wedding. Gon had a smile plastered on his face for a lot of those days, happiness overwhelming him quite often thanks to the brightness of their future together. Killua had tried to remain composed despite his own overwhelming joy, his smile hard to vanquish. Then the day had finally arrived, Gon was finally to pay off his debt and never see the clown ever again. They were to meet in a common ground type place, where neither of the fighters would have an advantage over the other. Surprisingly, the best place turned out to be a field, one that was usually set aside for crops. 

This was because Gon would not have anywhere to hide among the wheat, and Hisoka’s body would be plain to see under the hot sun. It was the easiest way to make sure that no one tried anything against a common rule-set thought of by Illumi and Killua. Seeing one another again was rather painful for everyone involved, Killua’s eyes glued to his brother’s short hair. His lips trembled as they stood next to one another, their voices hushed as to not distract Gon and Hisoka, who were preparing for their bout. 

Killua was the first to say something, his voice low and even, “What happened to your hair?”

“I cut it.” Illumi replied, eyes glued to the magician, “It was a sacrifice I had made to apologize for my… insubordination. Hisoka liked it so much that he helps to keep it trimmed to this length.” 

“You look strange.” Killua remarked, not used to the idea of his brother doing anything like this for someone who wasn’t family, “Do you like him that much?”

“I think I’m coming to terms with him.” Illumi muttered, his hand on his chin in a thoughtful way, “He still gets on my nerves, but he hasn’t done anything to hurt me yet. Which is refreshing.”

“I know what you mean.” Killua let out a sigh, his eyes narrowing at the clown, then softening when he looked down at Gon.

Neither side had spoken about their relationships until this point. Illumi and Hisoka had been kept in the dark about their future marriage, and Illumi had kept a secret from everyone there. Up until now, anyway, “I have started research into something, you might be interested in it.”

“What?” Killua asked, not expecting such a turn in their conversation.

“I’ve noticed the rings you both wear, it pains me to think about it, but I understand you deserve to find your own happiness.” Illumi started in a delicate tone, “So, I am sharing this to make your happiness more… expansive.” 

“What is it? Spit it out.” Killua, like always, fell impatient with his brother’s wordplay. 

Without another word, Illumi pulled a page out of his pocket, which was folded so neatly. It became clear where this page had come from, making Killua’s eyes widen at how long the other man had kept hold of this important information, “This is from the great library, right?”

“Read it, then give it back.” Illumi muttered, eyes trained on the now circling pair in the field, “I have already started my part of it, so if you wish to do as it says, then you should begin soon. It’ll make it easier for Hisoka to let go of him.”

Before Killua could say another word his eyes had begun to scan the page. His mouth hung open for a moment, but then it closed and he blinked a few times. He seemed to be making up his mind, like the information on the page was a huge thing, and honestly it was. Then, he held it back to his brother after having refolded it, “Thanks.”

Illumi took it and hid it in his pants once more, just in time for Hisoka to begin to make his first move, his smile large and plastered with lust. Gon easily dodged the first assault, as Hisoka was simply testing the waters more than actually attacking, although his lunges still remained rather fierce.

Gon knew better than to just take the attacks, so he began to run around the man, aiming to attack without making contact with Hisoka’s nen. It was difficult, his eyes barely able to track his sudden movements and unpredictable jabs. Excitement, equally, welled up in both contestants, Gon’s voice a cheer as he managed to land a hard kick in Hisoka’s shin. Hisoka managed to keep his footing, trying to reach for Gon’s neck with his nen soaked hands, but luckily Gon slid out of the way, and sprinted yet again to find a better position to attack.

Killua watched with amazement, although the words on the note had circled his brain over and over again.  _ Would Gon be happier, and would it actually help and keep the clown away, _ all questions he was uncertain of. He glanced over at his brother, who had said that he had already begun the process on his own body. He had obviously done it as another apology to Hisoka, which made Killua feel numb.  _ Why did he look so peaceful with that decision _ , the teen wondered,  _ what had Hisoka done to convince him that it would be okay to do that _ ?

Then his eyes again went to his hair, making his heartache by the sight of it. He loved his hair, and it was a great punishment when their parents had made him cut it off for disobeying them. He was so willing now to keep it short for Hisoka,  _ how can that be _ ?

Finally, the puzzling emotions welled up in Killua and he had to distract himself with the fight once again to push down the guilt that filled his very being. Gon was charging one of his attacks now, threatening Hisoka with the rock, paper, or scissors of his attack. Hisoka had barely seen it displayed before him, his excitement lewdly on display through his baggy pants. Killua let out an annoyed noise, frustration filling him almost as badly as the guilt had. He just wanted this to be over, and as Gon chose rock, Killua became horribly hopeful that it would end there. 

But, it was never that simple. Hisoka managed to take the hit, as though he had wanted to feel it. But then he simply stood there, smiling wide, eyes big and lungs heaving with delight, the impact did little to hurt him, but it did a lot for other aspects of Hisoka’s body. He had captured Gon now, holding his arm close to him, twisting the skin in a painful way, making the teen drop to his knees in pain. Killua had almost intervened, until he realized that Hisoka had released Gon, and began to walk toward them, his voice mocking, and loud, “You’re not ready yet. You barely have enough strength to be a challenge. We can’t have that  _ little fruit. _ ”

Gon sat in the wheat, holding his arm and wincing in pain. He knew he was right, but he also knew that this whole thing did not count unless Hisoka was satisfied. He was still in debt, and that burned a fire within him. He growled, standing to his feet despite the blinding pain, “I don’t want to wait to settle this!”

“ _ Fine then, I guess we’re just done here. _ ” Hisoka cooed, teasing the boy and hitting him in the ego all at once. 

Killua couldn’t believe what he had been seeing, it was like an elaborate break up. The pure dramatic tone in the air made it feel like a movie, but of course it was real, and Gon’s tear filled eyes, filled with determination and anger was enough for Killua to rush over to comfort him. Hisoka reached Illumi, a bit of blood had dried on his leg from the wound he had taken, but he was overall unscathed from the short fight. He seemed oddly serious, like he was punishing Gon for being impatient. However, Killua knew why he was being this way. It wasn’t the time. He had obviously known about Illumi’s condition, and known about what Killua might do to Gon, which would only be tragic if he was in any more disarray. It was mercy, something Killua had thought the clown was incapable of. 

Gon was freed from their contract, and yet he seethed with rage, screaming at the clown. Killua held him to his chest, at least until he began to calm himself, then everyone stood in silence, trying to figure out what to do next. Hisoka was the first to speak up, “I have a feeling we will all be busy for the next few years. If you can wait that long, we will try again  _ Gon _ . I _ want you to become powerful and full of spirit. I want you to fight with purpose _ . Only then will I consider any fight of our’s legitimate. _ Do you understand? _ ”

Gon did not reply, not understanding the man’s statement entirely. Then he watched as the two men began to walk away, down into the woods that surrounded the field. Being free never felt so bitter to the boy. 


	28. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been six years since Gon had defeated death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made my heart so heavy! I can't believe how fulfilling this ending felt, ahhhh! I hope you guys tune into my newest story, which I should be uploading the first chapter today as I've been working on it for a few days now, so I hope you continue to enjoy my content over in a fresh beginning! Get excited for "Curtain Call" :D  
> Keep in mind that nothing will be set in the next story, so feedback will be what makes the biggest differences! 
> 
> Thank you to Thor94, I'm sorry this story did not live up to what it was meant to, as I had changed directions pretty quickly into it. My next story is supposed to have a bit more rough scenes, no piercings or anything, but definitely a slave master dynamic in a few relationships.
> 
> Thank you again Atom1050! Your help with the new story really inspired me! I hope you continue to enjoy my writings, and I hope to see you at Curtain Call!
> 
> Thank you to Jhh88, this chapter is for you!
> 
> A new thank you to Rimy Morrow, I am sorry you did not enjoy the pairing swap, but hopefully in the next story, if you choose to read it, you'll be much more okay with the outcome. Thank you so much for giving me a chance haha.

Illumi’s eyes scanned the sunny waters, two small figures as well as a tall one played within the lake, laughing amongst themselves. He had never really enjoyed going out of his way, getting soaked for entertainment, but he did like watching. Their smiles made his heart swell, as though the bad times had never happened. The only child who shared his reservations was much too young to play in the current anyway, so he sat with him pressed against his chest, cuddling him and listening to him babble, as babies often did. 

It had been six years, the oldest of the three Morow children, a girl named Abaki, as Hisoka had insisted upon, splashed her father with a burst of giggles leaving her. She had long black hair, much like Illumi had when he was younger. The second child, also a girl who had been named Elara, was running away from the splashing of her older sister, crying dramatically about her hair getting wet despite being the one to initiate the battle to begin with. Then there was the youngest, who clutched to Illumi for protection and warmth, the small boy babbling as his lighter colored hair swayed in the wind. His name, given by his father, was Caelum. It mirrored his talkative nature quite well. He could not have felt more at peace, pressing a soft kiss against his smallest child’s head.

Then he noticed that Hisoka had picked up Elara, who was crying. She was only three, so it was quite common at her age. Abaki, who was now celebrating her sixth birthday waded out of the water by herself, pouting at her little sister, which she often did, complaining in a tone not unlike her father’s, “You’re being such a baby!”

Elara stuck out her tongue at her sister, tears still in her eyes. Then when she was placed on the blanket next to Illumi she immediately clung to him, crying to him about her sister. Illumi let out a patient sigh, laughing it off after a moment, “You know that your sister tends to get a bit excited. You just need to get revenge later, alright?”

Hisoka plopped down next to him, chuckling, “ _ Sounds like a war then _ . Probably isn’t normal to tell them to take revenge, _ Illu _ .”

Illumi shrugged, not seeing any problem with it. It was his normal advice to the children when one had wronged the other. He was never one to get in between their disputes, and always made them figure it out among themselves. Typically it worked pretty well, as neither girl hated the other, and their little fights would usually end with hugs and laughter. 

“Momma, when is uncle Killua coming?” Elara asked in her weepy tone.

“They are actually late.” Illumi told her honestly, “However, I doubt it will be much longer. They were all pretty excited to meet you three.”

“Why don’t they visit more?” Abaki asked, as she still slightly remembered meeting her uncle, but never his husband.

“Because they have their own lives.” Illumi replied, which made Hisoka purse his lips as though he could argue the fact.

Illumi gave him a glare, making sure he did not say anything rude in front of the children. Hisoka only smiled back, brushing his wet hair with his fingers, “ _ What’s that look for? _ ”

Illumi did not say anything, now focusing on Caelum, who was getting to be a bit impatient as his little babbles turned into whines. He hoped it would not be too much longer, everyone was bound to get hungry, then upset, then who knows what sort of hell they would unleash. They were the Morow children after all. But then his ears perked to a different noise, making him relax a bit. 

A small child, just a bit younger than Abaki, was running down towards the water on stumpy four year old legs. Behind him a familiar face chased after him, his eyes wide, “Woah, wait up Chime! I haven’t even put sunblock on you yet!”

Another familiar voice followed suit, Illumi’s brother came running behind them as he barely managed to cling to a bag of what seemed to be child products, some even spilling onto the ground as he made his way down the embankment. 

The child, who had snow white hair and big butterscotch eyes, had managed to stay out of his mother’s grasp up until he was distracted, his big eyes on Hisoka’s bright hair. He froze in his tracks, finally allowing Gon to pick him up. Gon was still pretty short, but man his child happened to retain his speed gene despite being even shorter. Illumi pursed his lips happily, his eyes brightening just a bit, “He’s gotten so big.”

Gon walked over, smiling at him in embarrassment, “He’s a handful.”

Now Killua finally caught up, his face red and his breath hard. He had not realized just how much he had spilled onto the ground until now, as he looked into the bag and groaned, “I thought I fixed that hole.”

Hisoka took the opportunity pretty readily, “ _ Aw, Killu, still bad with holes I see? _ ”

Illumi elbowed him hard enough to make an almost sickening noise. Hisoka rubbed the area, his smile never fading, “ _ It is so nice to see you three. Thank you for coming, Abaki was getting quite impatient _ .”

Abaki puffed up her cheeks, hands on her hips in a dramatic way. Gon couldn’t help but stare, the big golden eyes mixed with her acting was all obviously leftovers from Hisoka. He almost couldn’t believe the utter resemblance, “I’m sorry for making you wait, Chime was not wanting to put his shoes on this morning. He’s pretty fast, as I’m sure you can tell.”

She looked at him, squinting at him in a less than trusting way, “He’s a bit chubby to be fast.”

Illumi glared at his daughter, “Abaki, do not be rude.”

“It’s not rude! It’s the truth!” She complained.

He then glared at Hisoka, who was smiling, stifling laughter even. Hisoka looked back, puffing up his cheeks, “What? I didn’t say it, it was all her.”

“You’ve influenced her to act this way.” Illumi said.

“Not-uh!” Hisoka laughed, unable to keep a straight face anymore.

By this point Killua had picked up most of the lost contents of his bag and had returned. He began to help Gon put sunblock on their child, who of course, tried to fight to keep himself away from it. Chime made little noises of discomfort, grunting and pushing at his mother’s arms, “No! No want!”

“Too bad.” Killua replied, putting a dot on the boy’s nose.

Gon laughed at him, and released him once he was covered. He began for the water again, so Gon being Gon, he followed, pulling up and off his shirt. Illumi caught sight of the scar on his stomach, no doubt how he had given birth to his child. He had figured as much, as Illumi’s body had to have the same treatment. He pet his son’s head lightly in thought, then looked up at his brother, “Your family has become quite beautiful, Kill.”

“Thanks. They’re both idiots.” He smiled at him, then he settled next to his brother, mostly to ogle at the youngest.

Soon he had the baby in his lap, making faces at his nephew. Caelum laughed in a cute way, reaching up for the boy’s face as he pulled various silly expressions. Illumi could hardly believe that they had stopped at one child, as he seemed to be much better with them than himself, who was still learning. Sure Chime seemed excitable, but he also would probably make a pretty good shoe in for an older brother. Illumi almost felt strange talking to Killua about his news, “We have decided to have one more, then we are done.”

“That’s a pretty round number.” Killua commented, lifting the little baby up to smile at him, “Are you currently working on that, or?”

“Actually, we are going to give it a few years. How about you?” Illumi responded, deciding that this was the best and least invasive way to ask.

“Well, uh, I guess you could say we are planning on one more.” Killua said rather awkwardly, his face becoming a bit pink.

Illumi’s eyes widened, a soft smile filling his face, “I see, any idea what it is yet?”

“No clue. Gon doesn’t really care, he said he would be happy with anything as long as it didn’t come out furry.” Killua joked, then he placed the baby back into his lap to sit more comfortably, “I kinda hope for a girl. Then we can just leave this whole baby thing behind us.”

“You say that now.” Illumi managed a small laugh, “That’s what I said after Abaki.”

Killua got a horrified look on his face, as though the thoughts of another three pregnancies had completely stopped any want for more offspring. Illumi certainly would not push the issue, but he had a feeling that their numbers would be even by the time the two boys had stopped reproducing. 

Hisoka laid on his stomach in the grass, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. He had hardly paid much mind to the brothers, having been chatting with his daughters. Killua noticed that, despite having Illumi’s hair, both girls had golden eyes. He looked back down at Caelum, who was the only one so far to have the black eyes, although his hair was surprisingly fluffy and a lighter shade of black. He wondered if it was closer to Hisoka’s natural shade, but he would never ask. Instead he looked up towards his husband, watching him play with their son in the water. He was barely showing by now, but his stomach had rounded out a bit, this pregnancy being much more planned out than the previous one.

Killua had kinda made a last minute decision on Chime’s making, barely getting input on the idea before it became reality. This time around, Gon had asked for the child, as Chime had brought him unbelievable happiness.

Gon’s aunt was very confused when they visited and Gon had been holding a baby, as he had completely forgot to even tell her. She was mad for a while, but then she was holding their son up and admiring him. He was an adorable fuzz ball of pure energy. Killua’s father was quick to fall in love with the baby, almost threatening to keep him, as he reminded him of Killua, of course that could never happen, they were much too attached to the child.

Killua glanced at his brother now, remembering how his father had never met his children, and had never wanted Hisoka to step foot in their home. He wondered why Illumi had cut the family off from his children, but he figured the freedom had gotten to him, as he was acting much more relaxed these days. He thought that children had made people more high strung, but no, even Hisoka had calmed once the first one was born. He wondered about it, but figured it was none of his business.

It felt nice to be able to get together again, in a more peaceful and less tense way. Everyone caught up, and Chime got to know his cousins. He would probably forget about them by the time they met again, as he did not have good facial recognition yet, but both boys were glad to give him more people to become close with. 

Then the day ended, everyone saying their proper goodbyes as the sun sank. It had turned out alright, beating death and becoming new people wasn’t what anyone could have imagined, but they could never have been happier than they were at that moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you again. Without you guys giving me feedback and support I would have never made this story. I know it did not please everyone, in fact I've gotten more angry comments on this one than any other, but I still feel rather proud of myself for being able to finish a story. I hope to see you guys on my new story, and thank you so so much for reading!


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